Hubs won't get the snip!!

[241719robs]

Am I being unreasonable that my hubby wont even consider getting the snip? He just replies with 'maybe one day'.

We have children already and I am 99% DONE. My body has been through enough and mentally Im burnt out. After contraception for years, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding I dont want to go back on contraception or risk condoms etc. I know vasectomies are not 100% but better than me having to go through invasive procedures again. Im also late for my period and after 2 negative pregnancy tests Ive explained how unfair it is for me to be worrying about this every month. He basically ignored me as he knew what I was getting at.

Am I being a b*tch? Hes not had to go through anything physically and its not like I’m asking him to chop his bits off 🥲

WTF are you on about?! Are you SERIOUSLY comparing a vasectomy to a hysterectomy?!

😂

Get a clue FFS! I bet you think FGM and circumcision are the same don't you?!

I

Try reading all of the OP's posts! YES. They HAVE exhausted many other options! This is why she wants him to do the decent thing, now that SHE has been through many years of contraception and pregnancy and childbirth, and HAVE A VASECTOMY!

.

I think what you're saying is a whole new thread, maybe you could start one. I think it is highly subjective tbh. A young man in his 20s for example is very different to a man around 40 for example, who already has a couple of dcs, and is in a loving marriage. I don't think somebody this age should be holding out in case the relationship ends, while his wife who has already been through so much is expected to continue to shoulder full responsibility for birth control, or risk an unplanned pregnancy.

Because the person I was replying to said men ask women to have babies all the time so it's fine for OP to demand a vasectomy.

Oh come on!

Unless he refuses condoms why should he get the snip?
Use condoms, wear them properly.. avoid the most fertile time of the month if you’re that worried… then you’re sorted. No need for surgery for anyone!

No one needs to "have a second family." And what an arseholish thing to threaten his current partner with.

I appreciate your comments; however, I wanted to make my point. I understand my position is wholly different and is uncommon.

Good grief 🤦

At 98% effective there is a 2% risk of pregnancy each time they have sex. This does not stack to be one in 50 over a period of time. The odds reset every single time, it's only ever 2% every time. And for a good portion of the month she's not fertile anyway so some of the time it will be 0%. Flipping a coin and getting heads doesn't make it more likely you will get tails next time, it's 59/50 regardless of what happened last time. Probability doesn't stack, if you had a working knowledge of statistics you would know that.

Some people never have contraceptive failure and some people have multiple contraceptive failures, that doesn't make the risk 100% or 0% for these people, you roll the dice every time and the result is always independent of previous results. So it remains at 2% risk for the whole year, it definitely doesn't go up to 50% because OP used up her safe shag quota 🙄

It takes such an ingrained sense of entitlement to think that it's reasonable to expect a woman to shoulder the contraceptive burden (and the unplanned pregnancy/termination if it fails) and to call WOMEN "crocodiles" for thinking that men could step up and take on this one part. Like "It's fine for you to risk your life, undergo a high chance of birth injury, incontinence, permanent changes to your body, the hormonal upheaval and 2-year recovery after birth, plus potentially major abdominal surgery, but don't ask me to get snipped, yeah? I might want more children with another woman." Bloody hell.

Except it's not remotely the same because women want their children. This man doesn't want a vasectomy. This argument only works if women are having children they don't want out of duty to their husband.

Yeah you sound blissfully happy 😂

Hey Hey,

I was called a misogynistic incel for saying I wouldn't have a vasectomy. I think the term crocodile is relatively delicate in comparison 😂

EXCELLENT POST! 👏

You sure can tell who the men are on this thread, hey?

If the cap fits.......

He’s clearly not worried though so…

😂

I know someone where the DOCTOR said to the man infront of the wife "please go away and think about it carefully as you might want more children if you get married again" 🤦🏼‍♀️

I bet this same doctor thought it was OK for the wife to be sterilised though!

Or if you 100% don't want to have a baby or an abortion then it could be seen as the most certain method of birth control. Not wanting or being able to take hormonal birth control for the rest of your reproductive life isn't unreasonable and relying on condoms alone seems risky.
I suspect a lot of the men who don't seem worried about the risk are assuming that a termination is available as a back up.
And I would be livid if I was with someone who considered that a viable birth control choice.
(And I'm very pro choice, but as a last resort, not as ab alternative to contraception)

Tell him you're not having sex again until you can be sure you won't get pregnant. You have done all the heavy lifting and now it's his turn

The doctor is right. Should the relationship collapse and the husband decides to have more kids in the future, he'll need corrective surgery.

He shouldn't have said that in front of his wife, though.

He won’t need it. He may want it. There’s a difference.