Hubs won't get the snip!!

[241719robs]

Am I being unreasonable that my hubby wont even consider getting the snip? He just replies with 'maybe one day'.

We have children already and I am 99% DONE. My body has been through enough and mentally Im burnt out. After contraception for years, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding I dont want to go back on contraception or risk condoms etc. I know vasectomies are not 100% but better than me having to go through invasive procedures again. Im also late for my period and after 2 negative pregnancy tests Ive explained how unfair it is for me to be worrying about this every month. He basically ignored me as he knew what I was getting at.

Am I being a b*tch? Hes not had to go through anything physically and its not like I’m asking him to chop his bits off 🥲

Do you understand how many women get mutilated in childbirth? (I doubt as you’re clearly male) Two of my friends nearly died. One has ongoing pain to this day.

Then she has right to refuse sex, not to insist on surgery. 2 separate issues once again conflated

It is not mutilation. If he wants more children it is best he leaves sooner rather than later, not stick around letting his wife take risks she'd rather not until he gets a better offer. That is peak twattery.

I agree, best he leaves

She’s not insisting on surgery she’s upset that he won’t consider it. HTH

He doesn't need to consider it. His wife doesn't need to consider any surgery either. It's a black and white issue - what happens after that decision is up to them both. Part of the problem is men, where they are prepared to put up with this utter rubbish. If it was reversed, I doubt women would stand for it as we see on here daily.

Of course he should consider it. Good spouses consider anything that is important to their spouse.

Presumably he did consider it and said no. What you are engaging in ( with others) is a form of controlling bullying that would be absolutely condemned if the sexes were reversed. What part of no don't you understand?

@OneTealBalonz

He doesn't need to consider it. His wife doesn't need to consider any surgery either. It's a black and white issue - what happens after that decision is up to them both. Part of the problem is men, where they are prepared to put up with this utter rubbish. If it was reversed, I doubt women would stand for it as we see on here daily
Women stand for it every day. That's why most of the responsibility for contraception ends up on the woman because it is the woman who suffers the most when they end up with an unwanted pregnancy. They are the ones who end up having terminations and unwanted pregnancies and all the health complications .

It's laughable that you think men are the victims here. Men have for far too long abdicated all responsibility to women. But still demanded sex.

All that is happening here is a woman saying no more.

Stop engaging in this ridiculous whataboutery wittering on about men as a homogenous group where they are all bastards etc. Yes, I know the general forum view, we are talking about this topic and this thread and this case. A man doesn't want to be sterilised, he doesn't want to be operated on so once again, what part of NO isn't sinking in?

Actually he didn't say no. He said "maybe". Sounds discussion worthy to me.

What a strange argument. The whole point of a vasectomy is to make the man infertile...

@OneTealBalonz

Then she has right to refuse sex, not to insist on surgery. 2 separate issues once again conflated
No one is insisting anything. What has happened is a situation where a woman has decided as is her right, to no longer subject her body to any more burden.

So we have choices to be made. She's made hers. She feels she has done her fair^ share^

If he is unwilling to now take on his fair share then the result is a stalemate. No sex. That's the only course left.

And that's possibly going to negatively affect him more than her. In which case he needs to revisit his choices. Take on the responsibility or leave. Which he may not want. He may love being in the family unit. He may love the OP. He may want sex. Then he needs to choose accordingly.

He big point is SHE HAS ALREADY PAID HER DUES. his turn.

Permanently infertile *

Yes, on purpose.

12 years ago I did not want more children. DH did. I made the unilateral decision to have long term contraception fitted. No baby should be bought into the world with one parent who doesn’t want it. If OP doesn’t and her DH does then the responsibility for contraception falls on her shoulders

@JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam
I may have missed things but I don't recall either of them wanting any more children

If he wants sex then by your reasoning it's up to him to make sure the situation is one where the OP will want to have sex. So it's on him

Why would any male want to be possibly permanently infertile? Some may, but he may leave his partner or she may leave him - what then? That isn't to even mention other medical complications from a " minor procedure".

This @OneTealBalonz show has become rather 😴

toodle oo.

Because he doesn't want (more) children. Obviously.
You mean men not "male" btw. "Male" what?

Ty for your intellectual contribution to the echo chamber

What do you mean male what? Is this the level of stupidity where I have to say a male human and not a male goose?

Well, if the poor chap is being called "hubs" and "hubby", I can't say I blame him for not wanting to cooperate!

Because some people don't want children or want any more children. My partner is getting a vasectomy. He never wants another child, regardless of if he's with me or someone else.

@changecandles I don’t think it’s justification for a surgical procedure either way to be honest.

I have said upthread, the only side effect free methods are barrier methods…these options are still open to OP and her DH.

Im with all the people who think no-one male or female should undertake a surgical procedure they don’t want. Other solutions can be found.