Hubs won't get the snip!!

[241719robs]

Am I being unreasonable that my hubby wont even consider getting the snip? He just replies with 'maybe one day'.

We have children already and I am 99% DONE. My body has been through enough and mentally Im burnt out. After contraception for years, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding I dont want to go back on contraception or risk condoms etc. I know vasectomies are not 100% but better than me having to go through invasive procedures again. Im also late for my period and after 2 negative pregnancy tests Ive explained how unfair it is for me to be worrying about this every month. He basically ignored me as he knew what I was getting at.

Am I being a b*tch? Hes not had to go through anything physically and its not like I’m asking him to chop his bits off 🥲

Well, that doesn’t happen often! Good discussion!

Surely he has considered it if he says one day...

Are you being ironic? Confused by your comment. Female sterilisation is not minor compared to a vasectomy. Are you a woman?

No, this is the dh shirking it, and putting it off without so much as an adult conversation regarding anything.

Total false equivalence. There is zero bodily risk to man from being in a sexual relationship with a woman who has not been sterilised.

In addition a vasectomy does not involve having "reproductive organs removed". My goodness. The level of ignorance surrounding basic sex education is startling, even amongst the adult population.

Had he actually considered it, he would manage a less vague response.

My DH was 12 years older than me, i'm glad he didn't get the snip when his first wife wanted him to at 40yo after 2 children. She divorced him 3 years later and I wouldn't have had my DS (now 19) with him when we got married. The relationship wouldn't have even started between us as I wanted children.

His body his choice.

Female sterilisation requires the removal of the uterus, so yes, it does.

Tubal ligation involves the removal or closure of fallopian tubes and is NOT sterilisation.

I'm sure you'll be just as thrilled when he replaces your kids with his next wife then.

This must be very rare I'd imagine, or maybe this issue is separate from the vasectomy and unconnected?
Countless cases or hormonal contraception lowering females libido, then men complaining they don't get enough sex though.

Wrong.

Essentially OP, he is feeling confident that he can refuse to get the vasectomy and you will continue to have sex with him and meet all his needs, whilst continuing to take all the responsibility and shoulder all the risks associated with that set up. If he's correct about this then unfortunately you have zero currency and that's that.

Personally if my husband took this stance, I'd accept it as pretty stark evidence of the way he viewed me and our marriage. He's been happy to put your body through the mill for years and for you to take on significant risks to your health that were potentially lifelong. He is now not prepared to take a much smaller risk to eliminate your ongoing risks from birth control, unwanted pregnancy, further childbirths etc. I'm not sure I'd want to be in a relationship with someone who thought so little of me after I'd done so much for them for so many years.

'What is female sterilisation?
Female sterilisation is a permanent type of contraception, where the fallopian tubes are blocked or cut to stop sperm meeting an egg.
Fallopian tubes connect the ovaries with the womb.
This is sometimes called tubal ligation or “getting your tubes tied”.
Sterilisation is more than 99% effective at preventing pregnancy.
It does not affect your hormones and you’ll still have periods.
Reversing a female sterilisation is not usually available on the NHS.'

Maybe this will settle it.

And women should not go through any more invasion imo. If you have a man that suggests you do, this is a red flag.

Fuck me. Educate yourself before you make yourself sound even more silly. Tubal ligation is female sterilisation. I should know, I’ve had one.

Not really sure why you quoted me there?

It's not ignorance. The credentials of some posters saying female sterilisation is less invasive than a vasectomy, serve their purpose in MN.

Why can't you use condoms? Then neither of you needs to have a medical procedure?

I'm potentially having our 3rd baby and also had a miscarriage earlier in the year. If I have this baby I'm done. I suggested getting my tubes tied which partner was enthusiastic to, I then said what about you getting the snip as that's less invasive? Nope no chance.
I don't know what to do really as the mini pill doesn't agree with me and it's the only one you can take when you are bf.
I suppose I'll have to see if I can go on a different one after finishing bf.
But op yes I'm in same boat I've had years of being pregnant &/or breastfeeding and let's not even talk about giving birth!!!

OP has said she isn't comfortable using them as they are still risky

Because some men refuse to 🙄

If you don’t want more kids you need to decide together what birth control you use. If you can’t decide together then don’t have sex!

So one persons bad reaction to a copper coil and we’re back to everyone acting like it doesn’t exist. How about I talk about all the terrible side effects I had from hormonal contraception, weight gain, severe migraines, mood swings-should that mean everyone doesn’t use it?

Yes there can be side effects. To be fair the only contraceptives that don’t have a risk of side effects are barrier methods. Sterilisation has risks of side effects as does hormonal contraception.

But yet the copper coil is very rarely touted as an option.

Not being a bitch. He needs to take some responsibility. He hasn’t done contraception, pregnancy or childbirth

After l had 2 children then l told my husband l was done with contraception. Leaving us with condoms, no sex or a vasectomy. He’s on the waiting list for a vasectomy. Im not totally against a 3rd (he is!) and he knows l wouldn’t have a termination

@Fluufer

I'm sure you'll be just as thrilled when he replaces your kids with his next wife then.
Strange comment. Complete non sequitur