Husband says any man would cheat given the opportunity

[Esgd27]

I’m a bit gobsmacked. Been with my DH for 30 years and have 2 grown up kid. Our relationship is generally ok.
We were watching a TV show tonight in which a woman hired a private detective to seduce her husband to see if he was faithful to her. My DH said it was unfair as it was entrapment. I said it was a bit odd but I guess the fictional wife had some concerns and was testing her husband. My DH doubled down by saying that all men would cheat given the opportunity. I challenged him and asked if he felt like that (ie he would cheat given half a chance). He said that he would and that any man would.
A very frosty exchange followed. He raised his voice and then tried to backtrack saying that wasn’t what he’d said and he didn’t mean it. But he did definitely say it. He’d drunk a bottle of wine so no doubt that exacerbated his truculence. He then went to bed in a huff.
I’m don’t particularly think he’s been /being unfaithful - and as a slightly plump balding 60 year old I don’t think he’s exactly Casanova.
I’ve tried to tell myself that it was just a slightly drunken silly remark. But I am still fuming - I thought it was a pretty rude and disrespectful thing to say to your wife. Particularly as he doubled down and didn’t apologise. He just didn’t seem to care or think what he was saying and it raised some concerns with me about his underlying moral code.

I don’t think all men would cheat.

I say this as someone who has recently discovered my DH’s affair.

I wonder if your DH has some historic discretions in mind.

My DH says this too.
Maybe it has something to do with older men. Life was different 30/40 years ago.

Not all men would have sex with any woman, I think it's fair to say that. Unfortunately a lot of men are led by their penis. I'm pretty sure the majority of men don't know how they would behave unless the opportunity did arise.

Gosh it almost like we’re not designed for monogamy as a species….

My husband would never say that in a million years, he is staunchly anti cheating

How many threads on relationships start with a woman whose husband used to frequently say this has been caught in an affair!

Mine took the chance. It made him ill the stress of living a lie.

no. My dh is 65 and 35 years ago he was the same morally upright person he is now. Cheating has always been frowned upon. People who say “everyone would if they could” are in the camp of trying to normalize something they know is wrong. Like thieves who tell you everyone steals. Its simply not true. There are people who do the right thing even if no ond is watching. And people who do the erong thing when they think they can get away with it. They are different kinds of people.

I like the way you've described your sexuality as being linked to your wife! I think that's how it ideally should be.

exactly - what ‘s known as wishful thinking.

Some of us 100% are, this isn’t a general thing, people are different

Actually, I'm relieved he's admitted it. I feel as if men all know this, but never admit it.
My DH definitely would.

I recall an interview with Richard E Grant, Yeeeaaarrs ago, famously devoted
to his wife, on being asked how he copes with women propositioning him?
His response was - “I tell them I’m not available”

Ive never forgotten that, so simple, not up for dispute.

Anyway OP what ‘any man’ would do given the chance, should not be your concern,
your husband, was ill advised to vent his fantasy, now you will be watching him like
a hawk!

Yes he was rude, but if he was considering it he wouldn’t be spouting about it to his wife.

You just know that if you dared to ever say that you would cheat he would act like the most betrayed husband ever.

There’s one rule for men and one for women.

Plus he’d have to be 100% sure he wouldn’t be found out!

Oh god. This would give me major ick. It’s saying he would cheat if he had ever had the chance, but he hadn’t cos he’s so unattractive the opportunity has never presented itself.
not much loyalty or moral compass and a loser to boot .

Yeah I think most would...vast majority.

I don't live my life actively worrying about it...but do I think my dh may cheat on me one day...well never say never. I always find it spectacularly naive when I hear women say oh my dh would never cheat

Thanks for speaking up, unfortunately men (and actually people in general, on this thread) are tarred with the same brush. There are men and women who exist who 100% are this way, I am and several others here, and you voiced it so well, that sense of it being tied to the person you love, irreplaceable. I’ve been single ten years after my last relationship and haven’t even got emotionally close to another man, I hate the tarring people with the same brush when many of us 100% would feel sick at the thought of being with someone else, not just not cheating because we can’t get away with it. This thread is quite disheartening. Your wife is blessed and I hope you have a long and happy life together.

Is this husbands and partners of your friends trying it on with you? That's awful. The thing is, I bet if you told the wives you would be blamed as the single woman trying to seduce their poor innocent husband!

I think a lot of men would cheat given the opportunity. I love my DH but I have a long held fear that he would cheat if he had the opportunity and I wouldn't find out. I could be being paranoid but I see the way he notices attractive women when we are out and I always wonder what would happen if they showed an interest in him. He also cheated on his first wife (not with me) and my ex husband cheated on me so my perception may be slightly off. In addition, I have a married man pestering me for sex. Completely blatant.

What a bunch of rubbish

Yeah she is talking rubbish tying in high sex drive with infidelity and desire for multiple people, but clearly these lies are perpetuated, and it’s total nonsense. Does the same go for women? Because I’ve got an incredibly high sex drive when I’m with someone, but happy single for ten years because I haven’t met the one who lights me up, and I know there are men that are the same 🙄 try not to emasculate faithful men, who desire one woman, it’s not a good look.

I don't think this is the case for every man at all. Some, maybe.

I came home one night, we were having a small party and it was just me, my friend, DH, and newer friend left. Kids were in my sister's. I popped out to the next village (taxi) for more booze with my friend. Left DH alone with a newer female friend. Absolutely gorgeous, tall, model-like (I'm 5' nothing and while I'm good looking, I'm not a model), properly beautiful.

I came back and no one heard, the doors were closed and lights off. They were down the other end of the garden and you can't hear from there. Was putting the wine out in the kitchen and looked out the window into the garden where we'd been sitting. This woman made a move on DH. He literally swerved back, held her wrists and pushed her back off him. Stood up, yelled at her for trying to cross boundaries and stormed inside. He didn't know I was there, he saw me and panicked in case I got the wrong impression. I saw the whole thing and our security camera proved nothing else had happened.

He was as mortified as I'd have been if a male friend had done that. So no, I don't think all men will cheat if given the opportunity. I know it sounds naive, and I've met the kind of man who would. I don't think I'm married to one of them at all.

No I don’t. My DH certainly wouldn’t. He couldn’t be arsed. And I am 99% he would not anyway. He is far too honest. And I mean honest.

I don't think I could come back from that. He's a vile piece of shit. I'm so sorry.

I don't believe all men would cheat given the chance at all to be honest I would be fuming if my dh said that aswell shouldn't have said that to you ,

My dh wouldn't even consider it tbh and nor would I