To have refused my DPs mate a lift home?

[LiftRefuser]

DP and his mate are mid-40s. Last night, DP collected his mate from his house, drove back here and parked his car, then they both walked to the pub.

At 11.30pm, both come in the house, being loud and disturbing me, our 10 year old and toddler who was sleeping. I settled both kids and got back into bed. At midnight, DP comes bowling in and says I need to give his mate a lift home. It’s a 15 minute drive there, then the same back. I refused as I’d already been woken twice, was in my pyjamas, annoyed at the whole situation and frankly, couldn’t be arsed with an half an hour drive after a long weeks work at midnight.

DP was very put out at my refusal as ‘his mate’s wife would be really annoyed’ as he was meant to be back that same night. There are no taxis in our area at that time either, so he really had no way of getting home. I said I was sorry, but they should have thought of that before both getting too drunk to drive. His mate ended up staying over in the spare room and DP drove him back home earlier today. Apparently his wife had gone berserk at him.

DP is still pissed at me today and thinks it wouldn’t have been a big deal for me to do it and he would have done it for me / one of my mates.

AIBH?

Your husband is an utter dick.

not thought about getting home

Oh they had most definitely thought about this, which is why the DH went to pick his friend up before they went and got rat arsed. Sadly the cunning plan fell through because@LiftRefuser did exactly it says on her tin.

No taxis in your area? I find this hard to believe that there aren't cab firms who would cover your area, even if it's 40 miles away from a taxi firm. Taxi drivers like long jobs, because more money. I bet the pub had a list of numbers. YANBU to refuse. There were two of them, they could have hitched a lift.

Both to blame for choosing to live out in the uncivilised world. I'll never understand why people choose to live in places with no basic amenities.

NBU to say no, but personally I'd have done it.

Not your problem. You are not a minder for two 40 year old men.

Id be inclined to let him know for future pub visits you will not be offering a chauffeur service.

They have both taken the piss and it isn’t your problem.

I’d have done it if asked in advance, and a time agreed on.

They were well aware that they were both drinking and no taxis available in the area. It was up to him to work out how he was getting home, just like every woman ever does before they go out!

If his wife wanted him home that night he should have made arrangements with her to collect him. Alternatively your DP should have asked IN ADVANCE if you would mind helping them. Why are they both acting like teens?

You did the right thing now they will think twice I would have done the same your DO is in the wrong it's not your responsibility

Does his wife not own a phone 🙄

As usual, OTT

And left her children with a drunk husband? Surely not.

They are behaving like entitled children.

Even as entitled children;

1. they should have sought agreement from you/ the other wife, for a pickup, before making their plans.
2. Your partner is a grown man and an adult, his priority should have been his kids. If you left to do a 30 minute round trip, you’re leaving your kids in the care of a drunk man. Safe? I wouldn’t.
3. Did he care that you’d be very tired and driving around at midnight with a drunk man? Nope. You and your wellbeing are more important than his friend being told off.
4. now that both of the (grown up) women have expressed their disapproval, maybe they will change their ways.

Yes, sounds as if they were asleep.

Sleeping or not to leave young children in the sole care of a drunk person is certainly neglect.

Why the absolute fuck she she cover herself in anything but her fucking duvet???

Why the language? Just because you think one way doesn't mean everyone has to, get over yourself! While husband was an idiot at that moment in time, would it stop me hopping into car to give a lift, no. Would I tell him not to even put me in that situation again, yes

Never mind dear. clutches pearls

Beg pardon?
get over yourself... we're not all doormats.
Also .. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK.

You're such a child🤣🤣

Do you really believe that's OK or are you just being contrary?

The difference being you/your friends would most likely have asked in advance and not woken him up in the middle of the night!

Shock horror, a parent has a few drinks, how very dare they 🙄

Of course that's fine, just not when in sole charge of 2 small children.

Why did your DP have to drive him home if his car was at your house?