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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel so fed up that the only way to get a good education seems to be privately?

456 replies

Greensha · 11/01/2025 20:25

I’m uk based. I live in a reasonably nice area but the schools are rubbish. We’ve looked further afield and they’re all pretty similar. I don’t know if my expectations are off but the classes are huge, like 30 kids in one room (I thought 25 was the max!). The buildings scruffy. One had a lovely lunch room and nice outside space but the rest of the school was falling down. There’s absolutely no way we can afford private and the one local to us is worlds apart to these state schools. I am trying to remind myself that a lot of that is superficial, the teaching is the same in both sectors as the teachers are the same and I know my dc will leave school with a proper and ‘real’ understanding of life. I can’t help but feel my kids are at a disadvantage overall though and it upsets me. Why should some kids get small classes, loads of sport opportunities and nice clean and tidy environments when others don’t. Doesn’t seem right or fair.

OP posts:
Labraradabrador · 15/01/2025 09:28

Ballyhoballyhoo · 15/01/2025 09:19

OP - 94 % of families have their children in STATE school. The most important thing for a child’s education is their parents engagement and by engagement I don’t mean stick them in a posh private school 8am-6pm where staff are raising your kids.
Engagement means reading to and with them, encouraging them in subjects they like, helping in the ones they find trickier, making sure they’re doing any homework, and are joining in.
Your DC are going to be absolutely fine.

Why the dig on working parents? Many families rely on wraparound childcare (posh private school or other) in order to keep their jobs and pay the bills.

Goldbar · 15/01/2025 09:49

Labraradabrador · 15/01/2025 09:28

Why the dig on working parents? Many families rely on wraparound childcare (posh private school or other) in order to keep their jobs and pay the bills.

The funny thing is that a lot of state schools and private schools use the same after-school club providers 😂.

twistyizzy · 15/01/2025 10:00

Labraradabrador · 15/01/2025 09:28

Why the dig on working parents? Many families rely on wraparound childcare (posh private school or other) in order to keep their jobs and pay the bills.

Because they have to dig at everyone

twistyizzy · 15/01/2025 10:02

Ballyhoballyhoo · 15/01/2025 09:19

OP - 94 % of families have their children in STATE school. The most important thing for a child’s education is their parents engagement and by engagement I don’t mean stick them in a posh private school 8am-6pm where staff are raising your kids.
Engagement means reading to and with them, encouraging them in subjects they like, helping in the ones they find trickier, making sure they’re doing any homework, and are joining in.
Your DC are going to be absolutely fine.

"by engagement I don’t mean stick them in a posh private school 8am-6pm where staff are raising your kids".

So would you say the same to everyone working parent who uses breakfast + after school clubs 8am-6pm?
Or is your venom just saved for parents with kids at indy school?

LittleRedRidingHoody · 15/01/2025 10:10

Ballyhoballyhoo · 15/01/2025 09:19

OP - 94 % of families have their children in STATE school. The most important thing for a child’s education is their parents engagement and by engagement I don’t mean stick them in a posh private school 8am-6pm where staff are raising your kids.
Engagement means reading to and with them, encouraging them in subjects they like, helping in the ones they find trickier, making sure they’re doing any homework, and are joining in.
Your DC are going to be absolutely fine.

This is so unbelievably offensive - and my son isn’t even in private school! Not all of us have the luxury of only working school hours - should we not have children?

Crikeyalmighty · 15/01/2025 10:16

@Ballyhoballyhoo whilst I agree with the overall sentiment, the hours thing is a bit off- lots of parents have to use wraparound care with state school too - part time and/or SAHM isn't always an option

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