To feel so fed up that the only way to get a good education seems to be privately?

[Greensha]

I’m uk based. I live in a reasonably nice area but the schools are rubbish. We’ve looked further afield and they’re all pretty similar. I don’t know if my expectations are off but the classes are huge, like 30 kids in one room (I thought 25 was the max!). The buildings scruffy. One had a lovely lunch room and nice outside space but the rest of the school was falling down. There’s absolutely no way we can afford private and the one local to us is worlds apart to these state schools. I am trying to remind myself that a lot of that is superficial, the teaching is the same in both sectors as the teachers are the same and I know my dc will leave school with a proper and ‘real’ understanding of life. I can’t help but feel my kids are at a disadvantage overall though and it upsets me. Why should some kids get small classes, loads of sport opportunities and nice clean and tidy environments when others don’t. Doesn’t seem right or fair.

I was in a class of 40 in primary school in the 70s. It was a brilliant school with excellent teachers and a warm, caring ethos. Many of the great enthusiasms and passions of my life were kindled at, and by, this school.

Ok, that’s your view. My view is that a WC kid with a 1st or a good 2:1 has almost certainly had a more difficult path to attain that than the posh kid.
It’s almost irrelevant anyway, we’re starting to implement equity and widening participation hiring policies which will exclude the privately educated, and take intro account socio-economic background.
Our industry is stuffed with the MC +, privately educated and it’s 1) not in keeping with the modern world 2) not getting us the candidates we need to move our business forward 3) needs to change and allowing ‘fair’ hiring hasn’t changed anything.

State school in deeply working class area btw. Introduced me to so much that has enriched my life. But this was pre- National curriculum when teachers were free to be creative and intuitive. My dc experience was not the same, it was left to me to provide the cultural capital, and that state of affairs is only getting worse.

The average UK wage is about 35k. The average private school according to Google is 18k a year that's for a day school not a boarding school.

Let's be real the average Joe is not spending half his wages on schooling.

Er I earn 35K. Half of my wage goes on fees.

Parents choosing private education now NEED to accept or consider the fact that their children may be excluded from some opportunities because of it. I doubt most will care, it’s more of a ‘class’ thing and social standing thing for most and their children will continue to use parental networks to get jobs or experiences.
But that is becoming the reality. In the last decade or so school fees have risen so far above inflation that only the very well off can afford it.
My Director, who 15 years ago used to be very open about his exclusive, famous boarding school - joking about it, and it’s funny quirks - now doesn’t EVER mention it. I would say he’s hiding it exactly but is very much reluctant to admit anything about his background - although, the accent etc. doesn’t exactly mark him out as a man of the people…

Sorry should of added :
"The average annual fee for a day pupil at a private school in the UK is £18,063, which is a 7% increase from 2023. The average fee for boarding schools is around £24,000 for day pupils and around £42,500 for boarders"

From Google. The average Joe could never afford this.

This. You're an engaged parent, your dc will likely do just fine. The only exception to this is SEN kids. State education generally is not well set up for SEN, although many still do very well with an ehcp in place and strong parental advocates.

Wow, so after tax you and your family are surviving on £10k or so? You should give us all some tips on frugal living.
Do you live in a tent??

I couldn't afford private and there are no free grammars or selective selective schools in my whole county. DD is predicted As or above in her physics, maths and chemistry A levels and her lowest grade was an 8 at GCSE, with no outside tutoring. This is a fairly average local school.
DIL was educated privately and hated it. She said the pressure was awful and it hit very hard when she entered Uni because students with the same grades from state schools seemed brighter.

Sorry but how does this work? Do you have a husband also working full-time. Or do you not have to rent or pay a mortgage?

I just don't see how that's possible for most people with kids who are paying rent or a mortgage

How do you differentiate a working class kid from a posh kid?
Where do first and second generation immigrants fit into your narrow thinking?

It’s almost irrelevant anyway, we’re starting to implement equity and widening participation hiring policies which will exclude the privately educated, and take intro account socio-economic background

@Ballyhoballyhoo you sound familiar - have you posted on here before about excluding privately educated applicants from jobs?

When you say ‘we’re’, does that mean your company specifically or every company?
You didn’t answer my original question which was is it stated on your company’s job application forms that privately educated applicants will not be hired?
I hope you do as otherwise you’re wasting their time and yours - or maybe you enjoy getting them for an interview and telling them that their education makes them ineligible.

3) needs to change and allowing ‘fair’ hiring hasn’t changed anything.

@Ballyhoballyhoo what is ‘’fair’ hiring’?

You don’t know much about the reasons parents choose private do you? A heck of a lot of the parents at my child’s mainstream private school felt forced to choose it as their child was being massively failed by the state sector with their dyslexia / ASD /ADHD and they felt they had no choice. The thinking that it’s to do with ‘class’ are so ludicrously laughable. Just try having a capable, bright ASD child in a state school and see how often they get beaten up. See how well they cope with constant class room disruption. They just end up like traumatised little shells of their past selves. Anxiety is through the roof. School avoidance and home education too. If you have a good local state school you are massively privileged. Others less fortunate have to home school or go private.

‘How do you differentiate a working class kid from a posh kid?’

That can’t be a serious question.

Obviously you've got bills and taxes but that aside the average rent is over 1200 that's over 14k a year.
How do you exist???

As I said though we're talking averages and the average Joe earning 35k can't afford to blow half his salary on schooling (that's for one kid most people have two or three kids)

Obviously there is more £££ coming into the household somewhere, or the poster had been given a home/money etc by parents.
But that doesn’t fit with the ‘anyone can afford private’ narrative the poster is trying to spin…

You are assuming that all millionaires have children and also that their children are of school age! Very strange assumptions going on in your calculations.

Outside of the SE, one child could be put through school on a salary of around 40-50k which, whilst yes above average, is not remotely unattainable and have enough left over for bills etc. These laughable stereotypes that mostly revolve around Eton style ideas are just that, laughable. The vast majority of private schools and the kids that go to them are not Uber wealth or even "posh".
I really dislike this romanticising of the WC kid, scraping through against worthy challenges being pitted against the "posh" kid. It's toxic.

All mine does
Luckily we have DH's to live on

This reminds me of the new boy who started work with my old
workplace years back, base salary probably around £23k as an assistant ( arts job), London who said he didn’t find living in London to be THAT much expensive than when he was at uni up north… really? We said?Because he lived quite near the central office. Zone 1. Yah yah yah, totally manageable, because he could save in transport and walk to work.
Good for him. Couple of months in it transpired that his sharedflat was owned by HIM, gift from parents. And he was supplementing his income from rent from flatmates, oh and the Trust fund his brewery owning family had set up…

That’s the arts for you though, half the people ‘working’ in art galleries and the like are doing it for the kudos and social benefits rather than needing the money to live off…

Your children will be in the same boat as the majority of others. It’s a tiny minority of children (about 6%) who are educated privately.

Dual income household obviously but my point is that half of MY wage goes on fees. So if you live in relatively cheap part of the country, as I do, then you don't need the mega salaries that you do to subs your child to indy in London/SE