To feel so fed up that the only way to get a good education seems to be privately?

[Greensha]

I’m uk based. I live in a reasonably nice area but the schools are rubbish. We’ve looked further afield and they’re all pretty similar. I don’t know if my expectations are off but the classes are huge, like 30 kids in one room (I thought 25 was the max!). The buildings scruffy. One had a lovely lunch room and nice outside space but the rest of the school was falling down. There’s absolutely no way we can afford private and the one local to us is worlds apart to these state schools. I am trying to remind myself that a lot of that is superficial, the teaching is the same in both sectors as the teachers are the same and I know my dc will leave school with a proper and ‘real’ understanding of life. I can’t help but feel my kids are at a disadvantage overall though and it upsets me. Why should some kids get small classes, loads of sport opportunities and nice clean and tidy environments when others don’t. Doesn’t seem right or fair.

Well, private school teachers don’t need any teaching qualifications… so there’s that.

I have a lot of friends who are or have been primary age teachers in the state sector.
They have often said the the difference in the children seems to be due to parental interest in the children's education supporting reading, writing, talking to them and making sure the children have social skills (using toilet, washing hands, waiting for their turn, sharing) before they start school - all this makes the lesson in school achievable.
Perhaps in private schools nanny will have done all this.

Doesn't mean they don't have them

Now I know you are just trolling the thread

And in our experience the state school spent 25% of every lesson at least dealing with disruptions whereas the private didn’t have any of this. While the teachers are no better or no worse, the teaching is massively better due to the lack of constant disruption.

@Skiptogetfit and @Blinkingbonkers both refer to privilege. Yes, but you have to be careful because it's a thin line. What privilege are some people supposed to be grateful for? Being born, at all? not having a terminal illness that meant you lived long enough to need to go to school at all rather than die as a baby?

Or in much later life: Choosing to put yourself through uni and choose a career, choosing to live in an area that has good schools.

Yes some don't get those chances. Others didn't get those chances but made it happen. You can't keep apologising. I'm not a white male, but I can't I can't keep apologising that my ds's are.

I don’t expect any apologies, I just ask that you don’t throw a bunch of judgemental crap my way because I have made different choices. Being aware of your privilege means being aware that the options available to you might not be available to others. I don’t make snarky mean spirited comments about those who choose state - I KNOW I am privileged to have the options I have. Conversely I expect those with access to good schools and neurotypical children to be able to pull their heads out of their own asses and recognise that this isn’t true for everyone.

Not me, mine are all state, whst i meant was that all kids would benefit from smaller classrooms not just sensitive ones

@Labraradabrador

Eh?

I haven't made any mean spirited comments to anyone. Plus I suspect you don't know my history of schooling, state or private, not my children's, nor any NT aspects.

You might not have, but several on here have - that was the context of the comments on privilege. There have been some particularly vile comments on this thread about the motivations, moral character and abilities of those of us using private.

@Barbadossunset just to clarify, this was just my impression of the specific local private school I visited. Not a generalisation about teaching in the different sectors.

This is so rude and completely unwarranted. If you really want those with access to good schools and neurotypical children to empathise with you, telling them to pull their heads out of their own asses is hardly the best way to go about it.

We all know why people want to buy privilege. Or try to. It’s not a mystery.
But if you can afford it and want it then have it. Just no more tax breaks.

Are you still banging the same drum @Ballyhoballyhoo ? No, we don't "all know why people want to buy privilege". How about "we all know why we all want our kids to be happy and safe and thriving at school". You seem to be unable to accept that for some kids in some circumstances that might mean private, even if it's financially ruinous. Not sure why you're bringing tax breaks into it a d it would be nice if this thread didn't go down that rabbit hole.

Oh and all the teachers at the three private schools I've taught at had both excellent academic quals and QTS or were working towards it. The "unqualified shit teachers who only can cope with docile posh kids" is yet another of your wildly inaccurate outdated assumptions.

Please don’t stop him now. I have got ‘going private for the connections’ on my @Ballyhoballyhoo bingo card and I’ve yet to see it!

It's coming, must be!

Head still firmly lodged, I see.

Your comments are more a reflection of your own hysteria and lack of manners and rational thought than anything else. You can't even work out the right people to insult 😂

@Kittiwakeup just particularly grumpy today. Just forked out another £1k today for private treatment for dc that should be covered by NHS but isn’t available in any sort of timeliness or quality.

I realise I am lucky to be able to get them care by other means, but I would feel luckier still if I got the support that others seem to have elsewhere, or better yet if it wasn’t needed at all. Same as with schooling - lucky to be able to pay for it, but luckier still if I were one of the many people on this board bleating about the waste of money it is to pay for school when their children had such brilliant success in brilliant state schools.

am I looking to buy privilege? Yeah, kinda - I am looking to buy the privilege of having a safe, healthy, happy, supported child. I only wish I were as privileged as those that have that without having to spend a dime.

Please don’t stop him now. I have got ‘going private for the connections’ on my bingo card and I’ve yet to see it!

Add ‘all Etonians are thick’ to the bingo card.

I can completely understand why you are hacked off. If the support that should be there were there, you wouldn't need to be paying for private anything. If I had been in a situation where my kids weren't getting what they needed in state in any capacity and a private option met that need, I would have moved them in a heartbeat. I defy anyone to say they put idealistic principles before the concrete needs of their child. Their safety, happiness and good physical and mental health is what should always come first. Hope tomorrow is better.

My 26 year old did a bit of both- all at secondary - I can honestly say he was fine with both- he didn't suddenly turn into a massive swot at private nor did he turn into an un academic waster at the middle of the road Ofsted 'good' comp he went to in a reasonably good area.

My mate does have a teaching qualification as a secondary school teacher - she's a primary school teacher now. She works 3 days a week, and on one of those days teachers a language that she's never learned herself. So I'm not sure that her being "qualified" helps much! I'm sure she's a very good teacher indeed, but it's not because of the qualifications she has to teach chemistry & physics at secondary level....

At least we were able to bail our child out to private. There should be suitable provision for all children. That there isn’t is absolutely criminal.

OP - 94 % of families have their children in STATE school. The most important thing for a child’s education is their parents engagement and by engagement I don’t mean stick them in a posh private school 8am-6pm where staff are raising your kids.
Engagement means reading to and with them, encouraging them in subjects they like, helping in the ones they find trickier, making sure they’re doing any homework, and are joining in.
Your DC are going to be absolutely fine.