To feel so fed up that the only way to get a good education seems to be privately?

[Greensha]

I’m uk based. I live in a reasonably nice area but the schools are rubbish. We’ve looked further afield and they’re all pretty similar. I don’t know if my expectations are off but the classes are huge, like 30 kids in one room (I thought 25 was the max!). The buildings scruffy. One had a lovely lunch room and nice outside space but the rest of the school was falling down. There’s absolutely no way we can afford private and the one local to us is worlds apart to these state schools. I am trying to remind myself that a lot of that is superficial, the teaching is the same in both sectors as the teachers are the same and I know my dc will leave school with a proper and ‘real’ understanding of life. I can’t help but feel my kids are at a disadvantage overall though and it upsets me. Why should some kids get small classes, loads of sport opportunities and nice clean and tidy environments when others don’t. Doesn’t seem right or fair.

Probably because it’s bullshit I would imagine. Love the idea that MCs earning £200 or £300 k are clamouring to get their kids into Brighton College and the like, but the ‘millionaires’ are all, fuck it. Stick him in the comp see how he goes!

could be true I suppose because other than the figs of it’s the top 10% earners using private schools it probably not practical to find out how many of those earn 7 figures rather than 6…

There is a big distinction between 6 and 7 figures, particularly in London where someone might be a 'high roller' but the crippling mortgage rules out private school, particularly if you have several children. There needs to be an extra layer of common sense overlaying the statistics if they are to make any sense at all.

Hmmm… I’m a qualified teacher and in the state school I last taught at I taught A-level in a subject I hadn’t studied since I did my own GCSEs 20 years ago as we were so chronically short-staffed. My brother isn’t a qualified teacher, but has a doctorate in engineering and teaches it to A-level students at a private school. I’d rather have him than me teaching my kids!

I love how the threshold for ‘rich’ keeps being increased when convenient for your utterly baseless assertions. I’ve shown data for the top 1% (so minimum of about £200k), but now you are looking at a fraction of the top 0.1% (which is about £650k) if you now only consider those on 7 figures as wealthy. And suddenly 200-300k is middle class?? Try making that claim on any other man board and see what kind of reaction it gets.

Both my children went to state schools and were straight A students and both got degrees at RG universities. You are over thinking. The most important thing is they are happy.

You are very, very silly. That chip on your shoulder is definitely a you problem.

How do you know what private school parents want?

@RhaenysRocks He/she doesn’t know or care - he/she just enjoys ranting against poshos and telling everyone they’re unemployable etc.

You know that not everyone who sends their child to an independent school does so for the reasons you imagine?

As an example, my youngest son goes to an independent school. He’s there because his big brother is autistic and has high needs. His behaviour is very challenging. Our home often isn’t the peaceful place we wish it was, and a great deal of our time and energy go into keeping things going and managing his brother’s needs. Logistics, time and having to supervise a teenager that can’t be left alone and hates to leave the house mean that we need school to fill in the gaps for us so he doesn’t miss out because of something he didn’t choose.

We’re not unusual. Life is complicated, people make choices for reasons other than the ones that spring immediately to mind.

The way some posters tell it, it’s private school or failure. Yet the country, world even, if full of those who are successful in life, and academia, who just went to regular schools.

Please do link to a post where anyone has said that. Pretty much everyone has told the op that for some kids in some areas with specific issues, private was the only viable option. No-one that I can see has said that is universal...in fact more people have pointed to the inequality in state provision than between standard private and good state.

@Ballyhoballyhoo what I have seen a LOT of is posts stating confidently that there is free education for all available. Anyone can do well anyway with supportive parents etc, neither of which is true if there are SEN issues not met or a particular issue with demographic, bullying, weak leadership etc. Pop over to the SEN board and read posts from parents who have been literally left with no school place at all with all MS schools saying they can't meet need and appropriate schools being full or miles away. We have students at my school paid for by LA...so even they accept that state isn't catering for all. I wish it did.

And pretending that the only children in private schools are those with SEN isn’t true, and that’s backed up by actual statistics.

point me to the post where someone claims this.

I never did anything of the kind. Do say where I've said that. There are myriad reasons why people choose private, almost none of them are to do with what uninformed posters with no real experience of the sector think it's to do with. The old boys network is an outdated myth with the possible exception of the v v top elite that are twice as expensive as your average Indy. From the schools I've worked in I'd say the main reasons are convenience of one school from 3-18, wraparound care included and guaranteed, options for wider participation in sports, drama etc and the oft mentioned small classes, calmer atmosphere etc which make it much more appealing for some kids who struggle with 1000+ comps. Literally nothing about avoiding "plebs" or getting one over on everyone else.

Ah, the smaller class room and calmer atmosphere for the ones who really need it

‘Ah, the smaller class room and calmer atmosphere for the ones who really need it’

again, this assumption that all state schools have massive classes for everything and are all chaotic.
Its bullshit. Myth perpetuated by the companies fleecing YOU for a fortune.

And your myth that no indy parents have any experience of state schools. Most mix and match ie state primary/indy secondary/state 6th form, or some combination of those. Very few actually do Yr R -13 purely in indy.

Again, Schrodinger's schools! No-one apart from you uses the black + white reductive view of schools. The majority of posters have clearly stated that all schools + kids are different and there is no 1 hard + fast rule. Your narrative to try and pigeonhole everyone into a little box is very telling.

Not bullshit, my lives experience. SEN child refusing to go as they were regularly getting beaten up and there was always one fuckwit screaming randomly in the corridor and it was just too overwhelming. The random jostling, they were constantly on ensue. The school leadership were too stressed to listen to any accommodations. We were faced with home schooling or private. What would you choose on these circumstances while your child self harms???

Private was night and day. A transformative environment. If you have a local state school that meets your child’s needs you are massively more privileged than us. It would be nice if you acknowledged this privilege.

I agree, the mix is common. Both my sons went to a private primary, the older was at a state comprehensive, the younger will go there next year. DH went to a state primary, then an independent primary and first two years at secondary (a religious school) then 5 years at a state comprehensive. Must admit I was at independent schools aged 4 to 17, though, I didn't attend a state school.

I agree with a poster above. If your child attends a state school where they are happy, thriving and achieving then you should absolutely acknowledge your privilege …because it absolutely is one. My kids went to an amazing state primary, in fact I think all the state primaries near us are top notch - and I absolutely realise how lucky we were. Our local state secondaries are failing - there is one good one but it is a faith school & massively over subscribed (we did apply). I suppose if I’d started early I could have faked the religious bit to get in but that seems rather unethical…. So we’re bankrupting ourselves to go private instead. People are right though - don’t look at the buildings - look at the teachers, the ethos and the demographic is important too…if other parents’ behavioural expectations are good it’s likely to help the school massively.

Another factor to consider is that being privately educated will mean that a child will find it harder to get in to certain universities (definitely Oxbridge; I’m not sure about others).

I considered private school for my DS for sixth form but the local one here gets the same results as the comps. What you are paying for is a nicer environment, a glass of wine at parents’ evening, and better sports facilities. The teaching is worse IMO, and small classes aren’t always better (esp at A level).

As others have said, it all depends on your DC and the local offer.

Don't private school have better extra curriculars.

‘Another factor to consider is that being privately educated will mean that a child will find it harder to get in to certain universities (definitely Oxbridge; I’m not sure about others).’

Most universities now have a widening participation program of some sort. Well overdue.

The teaching is worse IMO

@Statepriv why do you think the teaching is worse?