To feel so fed up that the only way to get a good education seems to be privately?

[Greensha]

I’m uk based. I live in a reasonably nice area but the schools are rubbish. We’ve looked further afield and they’re all pretty similar. I don’t know if my expectations are off but the classes are huge, like 30 kids in one room (I thought 25 was the max!). The buildings scruffy. One had a lovely lunch room and nice outside space but the rest of the school was falling down. There’s absolutely no way we can afford private and the one local to us is worlds apart to these state schools. I am trying to remind myself that a lot of that is superficial, the teaching is the same in both sectors as the teachers are the same and I know my dc will leave school with a proper and ‘real’ understanding of life. I can’t help but feel my kids are at a disadvantage overall though and it upsets me. Why should some kids get small classes, loads of sport opportunities and nice clean and tidy environments when others don’t. Doesn’t seem right or fair.

I wouldn't put my children in private school if I was a millionaire, but it's not about the building, it's about the staff. Talk to them and get a feel for the atmosphere. You may well find a gem.

I know LOADS of people who had state educations, went on to excellent universities, and have succeeded in a wide range of areas.

Parental influence and expectation is probably the big st factor, IMO.

@TheWonderhorse thanks. We are going to look at two more. I know I need to be more positive im just sad my dc will never have the opportunities that others have in education

FWIW my state educated kids might not have had the sports facilities or sports opportunities at school, nor the small classes or most up to date facilities but they did have the most fantastic teachers, diverse and interesting peer groups and a brilliant community. And they are doing just as well if not better than their privately educated cousins and friends. State schools are struggling obviously, but to write them all off is nonsense.

Im against private schooling, however your argument is seriously flawed. You say you live in a nice area - why is it fair that you live in a nice area and other children don't? Life is unfair. Some people have opportunities others don't. It's just the way it is.

Did you go to school in the UK? Are you looking for your 4yo? When I was at primary, the classes were often over 30. My brother had a class of 37 at one point! 30 seems a lot but there are some bonuses in terms of more children to make friends with. My kids are both thriving in the state sector. There are sadly lots of kids who struggle with school, as it is hard for those who don't fit into the standard approach, but for many school is great. I don't think kids are less aware of the differences in things like buildings and grounds.

Another one who won’t use private school (we can afford it). You are being unreasonable to focus on building aesthetics and class size (it’s always been 30). If behaviour, upper management and teaching are good then class size is not an issue, as isn’t ‘scruffy’ buildings.

Who are the ‘others’? The 5-7% of school aged kids? They won’t affect your children’s opportunities if they are behaved, hard working and bright.

@BendingSpoons yes dp said there’s more opportunities for friendships in larger classes x

This is just not true
And I've had kids in private and state over the years

I have three children all state educated and all at or about to go to Russell Group universities.

Their school had issues with heating, they never had lockers and rhey crowd funded for white boards.

Excellent teaching is all that matters.

Adding to this - the biggest predictor of success, at least at primary, is parental influence. Your DC has parents who care and are invested in education. That gives them a massive leg up compared to others.

I second this. My kids are in a class of 20 with only 6 girls. I feel for my daughter lacking for choice in female friendships.

Not my experience. Very happy with the schools in my area - no need to consider private here, certainly for primary at least.

Infant class size max is 30, with very few exceptions eg: twins.

My dc are in Y8 and Y11, and our experience of state ed over the last 12 years has been excellent. My Y11's 6th form options are all very good too. We have a first/middle(y6-8)/high school system though; I don't know if that has any impact on the quality of our school experience, but I love it.

My three children went to state primaries and comprehensives (all in very mixed areas). All got lots of top A Levels and got into Oxbridge. Sorry if that sounds like boasting but I think you’re being unnecessarily pessimistic.

I agree, and you only have to read the Education board on here to see what state a lot of state secondary schools are in.

And I don’t mean in terms of grades… I think bright, motivated kids will generally achieve good grades wherever they do. I mean in terms of the day to day experience of being in school. Constant low level disruption and general poor behaviour.

It shouldn’t, but it does depend on your area sometimes. We’re in a nice area and our local state schools are lovely. My dd is in reception and we can’t fault her school, the teachers are great, there’s TAs for her class, small group learning sessions within each school day, good resources and activities and plenty of books that get sent home each week. I have friends who live in a different area and their experience of state primary is completely different.

Our children will be going to a private school, as we are fortunate enough to afford it, but also, it does open the doors to alternatives state schools can't. I went to a state school and have done well. It just depends on your opinion and what you feel will be most beneficial. We prefer the smaller classes private offers and the wider range of subjects

DS is in State - I genuinely was ready to go private from the beginning as I was also 'trained' to feel it's the best option. But our local state primary is as good as the local private ones, so we're there now. It's also 'lacking' in some facilities, but we fundraise and those who afford to chip in, do.

Life isn't 'fair' ~ I'd recommend if you hate the schools so much, get involved as much as you can with the PTA etc. Donate and volunteer - without a doubt our state school is amazing because the parents are as involved as they are, and I think that can be said for a lot of smashing state schools. I honestly have about a thousand reasons why I don't have time to, but I make the time because I don't feel comfortable leaving DSs education entirely to the state.

I think it depends on just how academic your children are. If they are grade 7/8/9, they'll be in the top sets and get those grades no matter what school they go to.

If they are not near the top of their cohort, you might want to consider going private. They will enjoy their classes more, but become exposed to a massive drugs culture.

My son went private for secondary, they're 31 in his class so no different from state. But..the children are selected on academic performance AND behaviour so it's really a calm environment. His French teacher went from state to private and she told me that it's such a joy to be able to teach because in state there were so many children who misbehaved for a reason or another that she spent half of the time disciplining. So if it's a good state school don't worry about the size of the class.

There are pros to state schools too. To teach at a state school you have to be qualified, you do not at private schools.

IMO a good school means engaged teachers (who are supported by senior leadership) and motivated children. Private school does not necessarily get you either of those.

Or what you feel is ethically indefensible.