To feel so fed up that the only way to get a good education seems to be privately?

[Greensha]

I’m uk based. I live in a reasonably nice area but the schools are rubbish. We’ve looked further afield and they’re all pretty similar. I don’t know if my expectations are off but the classes are huge, like 30 kids in one room (I thought 25 was the max!). The buildings scruffy. One had a lovely lunch room and nice outside space but the rest of the school was falling down. There’s absolutely no way we can afford private and the one local to us is worlds apart to these state schools. I am trying to remind myself that a lot of that is superficial, the teaching is the same in both sectors as the teachers are the same and I know my dc will leave school with a proper and ‘real’ understanding of life. I can’t help but feel my kids are at a disadvantage overall though and it upsets me. Why should some kids get small classes, loads of sport opportunities and nice clean and tidy environments when others don’t. Doesn’t seem right or fair.

Because eating disorders and drugs never happen in state schools do they?
Honestly your prejudice is amazing.

I didn't ask which uni, I asked how many kids as a % of the number who go to indy was this 'representative sample"

FYI I went to all state through to uni and got introduced to speed, weed + cocaine at the state secondary school. I also became anorexic at 14 yrs old whilst at state school. In my friendship group there was competitive under eating + drug taking to go alongside that. However that was my own personal experience and I don't tar every state school with that.

I grew up on a council estate and am from a family where no-one had ever even completed their GCSEs. I used to be hugely against private.
I taught state for 10 years including being a sendco and a deputy. Recently quit and am pursuing every avenue possible to get my kids into a private school.
State schools are in crisis. Staff are on their knees. I think children are being failed to a scale that won't be clear for another generation and I worry about my children being collateral.

Yes of course. Every kid I've taught for the last twenty years is now a messed up adult. For sure. 🙄

My children are adults now and all did perfectly well in state.

@Barbadossunset I said it was anecdotal, I have no idea if it is true but the police round here do nothing about a lot of crimes, I’m sure they have very little time to investigate gossip about where local teens buy weed etc.

Don’t be disheartened OP. I am state through and through. I am doing just as well if not better than my privately-educated friends. I am the only one that went to Oxbridge for example. I earn the same if not more than some of them. I am certainly not as entitled or insensitive as they can be, and because I know state education is fine I’m not worried about how I’ll pay my kids’ school fees as they are now.

I'm with you OP. My local schools are supposedly good but my dd really struggled, the teachers told me not to worry then her SATs came back bad when I raised this with the teacher that clearly she is struggling I was just told she's achieving well for the school and they need to focus the help for the kids doing worse there would be no help for my dd. I had to pay for private tutor and spend a lot of time teaching her myself after school and at weekends and it became clear she was learning very little at school. She was really anxious and upset from the behaviours of the other children is was detrimental to her mental health. There were basically no positives from her attending school. I pulled her out and now home educate and she's doing amazingly again. We are in a grammar school county so we are focused on her passing the 11+ and she can return to school then hopefully with better student behaviour so the teachers have time to teach.

I think a lot of people base their opinion on how school was when they attended but in the last few years it's becoming worse and worse and general public are not fully aware of it. I lurked on the education board for a good while and reading comments from actual teachers really confirmed to me schools are in a bad way. Within our local home education community there is a vast amount of send or anxious children failed by school but also a very telling number of the parents are teachers and decided state school is not good for children

If your children are NT and well supported at home they are likely to do perfectly well in a decent state school.

I would much rather my DS was in a state school because we wouldn't be living with financial uncertainty, wouldn't be demonised by the government and wouldn't be despised by much of the country as we so clearly are.

However, DS has needs that simply wouldn't be met in our village school. I know this because I visit our village school regularly, professionally. No one will convince me that most state schools are the right places for children like mine (extremely able with social, emotional and sensory needs).

We have opted to do our very best to meet our child's needs by opting for a small independent school with small class sizes and a low arousal, calm environment. I couldn't give two hoots about his grades as long as he continues to love learning, feel accepted for who he is and retains the high self esteem he has now. My aim in life is to get him through his education with his mental health intact. I'd have been very happy to send him to a state school if that would have worked for him.

I went to private school (a very academic girls one) but my kids go to state school. I'm really impressed by the state school so far; it seems to have instilled a real passion for learning in my kids and the teachers have been absolutely wonderful. We are in London and the school is rated outstanding (and recently too) so I guess that helps. I visited a local private school (with a good reputation and part of the group that my own school is in) but wasn't really impressed. Taught Mandarin and gave all the kids their own laptop which seemed unnecessary at a young age, whilst the building/ facilities weren't that impressive and was shabby in places. I don't feel like I'm short changing my kids with state, at all. The only thing I would change would be to have smaller class sizes, but all the classes have a TA as well as a teacher so it's better than many places.

Well I guess some would say you’re privileged to live in a nice area…

Schools are great in Northern Ireland

I think a number of the posters commenting about how well their children achieved will not realise how much things have changed for the worse in recent years.

Are you looking at primary? I would look ahead to secondary too so that you have all the options. Whether you are for or against faith schools the best school in my area by miles is the catholic one - you would need to be in a catholic primary to guarantee a place.

Just to add to that the catholic school lacks the technology and the new buildings of the surrounding schools as it happily spends money on older teachers as well as younger ones! No classes bigger than 28

As a teacher, I’d have to say what I’ve said a million times to kids moaning “s’not fair Miss!”.

Life’s not fair. Just get on and do your best.

I think it depends on both the school and the child. Some children are more influenced by their peers. Some state schools are fantastic, others aren't.
Both my sons went to a private primary, and DS1 then went to a local state comprehensive, which gave him a very good secondary education, and certainly didn't have low expectations either of him or the children in general. He got mostly 9s at GCSE and all A* at A level. DS2 is going to the same comprehensive next year.

If you can afford it, you can also access tutors, clubs, activities etc outside school to make up for any particular areas you think are lacking.

My older son's just left a state comprehensive, and gone to Cambridge, and my younger son's going there next year. It's very good indeed, and hasn't changed for the worse.

Take a look at the teacher boards - many many on the front line who claim otherwise. It is great that your children’s school isn’t noticeably affected, but there’s a fairly sizeable consensus that the state education sector is under stress and that the experience has declined over the past 5 years.

My best mate is a teacher, and thinks similarly. She also thinks London schools get a lot of extra funding, and that the problem is different in London compared to elsewhere, though.

Possibly a weird reason for us to pick private and that was because the school we picked isn't as focused on academics.

The local schools to us are very poor. We could move but I need to be close to my parents so picked private but oddly what I liked is that it focuses just as much on extra curricula's and outside learning as much as maths and English. It suits my DS well. Neither me or his dad are academic and seeing as DS won't even have to do SATS that's why we chose it.

Your experience will depend on your school, your child and your child’s class cohort. If you have access to a good school, a NT and academically capable child and a class group that is well supported at home and suitable for mainstream education then you will be fine.

if one or more of those things goes wrong your experience will be very different. We chose a very well regarded state school, but emerging ND made it a very poor fit. A friend had okay experiences with one child, but second child was in a cohort where 1/3 of children had send significant enough to require 1:1 provision and a very chaotic classroom as a result.

state education is great when it works, but teacher shortages, rising levels of unsupported send, behavioural issues, etc. all contribute to making good experiences less common than they once might have been.

we chose our school for very similar reasons. Lack of SATS and the teach to the test mentality was a big draw. We found that the private school progressed more slowly in early years, so would have been behind state schools in phonics or maths, but by y6 are tracking slightly ahead so ultimately get to the same point in core competencies. More time spent on art, sport, stem, special topic, music, etc. One of mine was a slow reader and in state was pulled out of all the fun stuff to do interventions because their school targets demanded children be at a certain place at a certain time learning wise. Absolutely soul destroying for a 5yo. At private they were allowed to progress at their own pace and are now tracking ahead of age expectations. I think the way we measure performance in state schools sometimes undermines the ultimate aim of education.

If anyone is open to the idea of private education, most do bursaries (some still do full) for children whose parents can't afford it. Do ask and see if the local options really are dire, it's what the bursaries are for.

My kids have been in both private and state. It is really more about the teachers than anything else. I think the class sizes are the main difference but in state there are multiple other support staff that you don't get in private. There are 4 teachers in my childs state primary class, separate phonics teacher and reading support teacher, pastoral and wellbeing staff. In secondary there are multiple other types of support staff. You don't get that level of support in the small private schools, in the big ones if you need additional support it comes at a hefty fee. The sports facilities really vary based on the school, we have some amazing state schools near us with extensive grounds and huge new facilities for sports, drama, science etc. Some private schools are in tiny old buildings, some of the larger ones have great facilities but also there can be a horrible culture. I grew up with kids from private and state mixed in an area, we all knew each other and the outcomes are so varied, you can't tell who went to private and who didn't based on our current life situations and successes. Plus you have all the tradies now earning more than most office workers. __

So this will be variable. In our state school we had 31 in a class, 1 teacher and a part time TA. No literacy support, and the school senco was part time, no other specialist teaching.

in our private school we have 10 per class, 1 teacher, 1 part time TA, a literacy specialist as needed (modest additional fee), full time senco for school, specialist teachers in art, PE, forest school, music and mfl. It isn’t a particularly large school either - less than 150 in the junior school.

i think some state schools seem to have figured out funding better than others, and some private schools provide more than others.