My partner not wanting my mum to see my new baby

[Joelm1066]

I have recently had a baby boy with my partner. We have been together for six years. In the course of our relationship she has not got on well with my mother. My mum can be a bit tactless, but she has a good heart. However, my partner wants very limited contact with her despite my mum reaching out and trying to improve relations between them. After 6 years I have come to accept that she doesn’t want regular contact with her. However, since the birth of our child 8 days ago, she is insisting that she wants to wait at least a month before my mum sees the child even though he has met all of her close family and close friend. She says that it is because she only wants contact with people she’s comfortable around, but I think I have a right to introduce my child to his grandmother sooner than a month. AIBU?
It’s causing me a great deal of sadness and stress at a time when I should be happy. I don’t really know what to do.

Sorry yes, the mother who gave birth as opposed to the mother/father who didn't

I'm not talking about a father's right to take his sons to football matches or whatever. We are talking about the immediate post partum period here.

But according to @LegoBingo the OP might be the MOTHER!

(FWIW I think the OP is male and his partner is female and is the birth mother. However, I think @LegoBingo is arguing that the OP's story is equally consistent with the OP being female and in a lesbian relationship, it being unclear whether the OP or their partner gave birth. I don't agree with this interpretation but the OP sort of started this with their unclear wording - "I have recently had a baby boy with my partner" - and their apparent reluctance to say whether they are male or female)

Especially their child, great way to end a relationship oh my bestie can come but you as the sperm donor shut up and keep house I've given birth you know my opinion and feelings are the only ones that matter until I say otherwise.

Re-quoted as some people are forgetting OP's partner gave birth 8 days ago. If this were written by the OP's partner 'I gave birth 8 days ago, still saw, breastfeeding, and my partner is determined his mum visits now but I have a complicated history with her', we'd all be saying her DP is an unsupportive and selfish arsehole.

Why are you assuming OP is Joel born in 1066 then

It's ludicrous.

Imagine being that excited granny????

Also if she had a straight forward birth then why does she need a month to recover before MIL can meet the baby given her side of the family already have?
I had emergency c sections with both of mine and was taking them out for walks a few days after.
If she is breastfeeding then there is nothing stopping MIL popping in for half an hour to meet her grandchild.

Many people wait until a month to have visitors. A month is more than reasonable!!

Quote where I said that then.

waits

A month is disgraceful for a child's grandmother!!

I think the implication is clear that the OP’s partner is the one that gave birth, and that OP, with his name being Joel, is a man and therefore did not give birth. OP says partner “only wants contact with people she’s comfortable around” which makes absolutely no sense if partner did not give birth.

Ahhhhh sorry that was @ttcat37 why the hell have I been quoting you then. I'm so confused I'm off to lie down

Nah it reads like OPs partner is a fucking drama queen who cuts people off for things that any normal and sane person would just roll their eyes at and carry on with their day, because as OP says himself, his partner seems incapable of even being civil with her MIL.

if it was your partner that gave birth give her the space she’s asked for, let her recover from birth and her hormones settle. She’ll feel vulnerable and if your mum is tactless at this point it could be a big set back. Your DP said a month, hold her to that. Hopefully as time moves forward more of a relationship with your mum can start, it’s amazing when others love your child and maybe your partner will see that love from your mum to her child.

Be there for your partner, look after her, let her know how amazing she is but also how excited you are to show baby off to your mum.

Nope could just be protective of new baby and think OP's mum is a right pain in the arse

Stop splitting hairs! It's statistically the most likely!!

No, she is not. A month is a reasonable compromise!

mainecoon on a hot tin roof is I have to say I think way way way the best name I have ever heard, for so many reasons 😍

You can say that again.

No it is not!! It is more than fair, especially when that MIL is abusive and condescending!!

Thank you, I like it!

I’d love to take bets on whether OP is male or female…

Why are you so upset about this Lego? I mean isn’t it obvious that it’s statistically more likely on mn that OP is male, his partner is female and gave birth?! Aren’t people just making a statistically reasonable assumption until they are given more information to the contrary. No one is saying this is the way it SHOULD be.

Is this prejudice now? Honestly, please inform me - I don’t want to be prejudice!

Where does it say she's "abusive"??