Does it sound like my DD is normal for 10 years old?

[Normal10yoYesorNo]

DD is 10, school year 6, will be 11 in 2025 but is the youngest in her year (end of July birthday).

ExH is insisting I baby her and that she’s too old to play with toys. Her school, however, have not raised any concerns from her play - they have a common room area for year 5s and 6s with age appropriate toys etc which DD loves, each class gets an hour a week in this common room (3 form entry school) and they’ve said DD plays fine with other girls (she rarely plays with the boys) and they play in an age appropriate way.

So does this sound normal:

• Loves baby dolls – dresses them, feeds them, puts them to bed, talks to them while she’s doing it. Hands them to her friends/me/her grandparents/teacher to “look after” and tells us how to do it before going off to play with other toys
• Also loves barbie dolls – dresses them up, has fashion shows, plays them as baby/dog/whatever sitter, brushes their hair. The children/baby barbies go to School and Guides etc while the adults do “boring” (her words) things like shopping and work
• Loves card games like Uno and Snap
• Loves some simpler board games like snakes and ladders
• Loves Lego – builds houses, zoos, farms and schools but never vehicles or space station or similar (I think we had a church once but it was a one off). Has most of the animal sets and always builds big multi people houses/places then has the animals running wild looking for their owners/keepers, she finds this hilarious and plays it a lot – she doesn’t build particular sets as such but asks for the general boxes or specific ones if they have people/animals in she wants
• She plays with things together so often the Lego Animals end up being the pets of the barbies etc.
• Loves Stuffed Animals and has many – she likes to put on shows with these, she sings and leaps about while they watch.
• Likes craft activities like card making, simple sewing, badge making – she absolutely loves glitter, stickers, glue, sequins etc.
• Likes baking cakes and bread/pizzas with me
• Her clothes still have characters like Stitch and Barbie on
• Her glasses are Crayola with a rainbow pattern on the side
• Her hearing aids are Blue one side and Pink the other (her choice)
• Her chosen extra curricular are Guides (Girlguides) and Choir – she could do more than 2 but chooses not to
• Still believes in Santa (although I plan to tell her the truth in the summer before she goes to secondary school)
• Starting to get into makeup for parties, discos at school etc. but doesn’t want it for general wear yet

ExH thinks she should be into none character clothes, makeup for the full face and skincare, grownup games like trivial pursuit and monopoly. He hasn’t bought her a single toy since she was about 8 saying she’s way too old. He thinks she should be more interested in her phone and tablet (don’t get me wrong she wants to use them and does but never asks to go on them, she’d rather play – the phone is for walking home from school and the tablet we take to appointments with us). He thinks her glasses need to be upgraded to designer labels so she “fits in” with her friends and her hearing aids should be changed to be less babyish. He thinks her activities should also be more grown up and has suggested Gymnastics and a language Class (She turned her nose up at Gymnastics and says she’s learning French at school so doesn’t want to do anymore yet, her potential secondary school offer French, Spanish, Mandarin and German as Extra Curriculars so she can always pick them up there – I am happy to pay for these if school ask me to)

For Christmas he bought her a TV for her room there and a playstation 5 with a couple of age 12 games as she’s “too old for toys now” which she says she isn’t really bothered by and wants to spend more time with me so she can play. When asked why age 12 games he said anything for age 7 up and younger seemed “babyish”.

For Christmas I got her some barbies, a bit more Lego (she has loads of the stuff), a few soft toys (including a dancing stitch thing that she would take absolutely everywhere with her if given the chance) and some clothes.

ExH thinks he ideal day out should be a grown up 12 or 15 movie followed by a meal at an Indian restaurant. Whereas I took her to the circus and out for pizza after during October Half Term and she still acts out her favourite bits of the circus with her toys now.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a fussy eater at all, eats most things but she will reject an entire meal still if she so much as sniffs the foods she doesn’t like and spicy is one of her things she doesn't like (anything spicy, even a tiny bit of onion can be too spicy). She also is very grown up in other areas. She very quickly mastered tying her school tie, always check she has her pin badges for school and guides on her uniform (and with guides makes sure they're in the correct place and can move them herself if they're not), sews her own badges onto her guides uniform (but can't do her camp blanket herself yet), she brushes her own hair (i still help her tie it up and wash it), cleans and looks after her own glasses and hearing aids, will take our dog on a short walk alone locally (unfamiliar areas or longer walks she still wants me with her), can feed the dog and knows to check her water bowl and refill it without me reminding her, will walk herself to Guides (but has to have an adult pick her up due to end time - which is fair enough), walks home from school 3 nights a week with her friends, makes her own bed in the morning etc. so she isn't by any means held back.

She does have a minor speech delay as well as hearing issues which need aids. She also has had glasses since age 3. School have absolutely no concerns about her, say she’s bang on academically in most subjects (it’s things which are more wordy like English and things requiring balance like PE she struggles in, she takes her aids out for PE so that is probably why). Audiology and ENT have never raised any concerns at all about her emotional age.

Does my DD sound normal for her age?

As I type this she’s emptying the lego box to make a rescue centre for abandoned animals, chattering away about what pieces she wants and why.

ExH says this isn't normal and i need to encourage more grownup activities for her. ExH has DD for 2 nights EOWend, no extra (his own choice) and DD is both of ours only child but ExH has neices and nephews where I don't so don't know whether I am just not used to knowing what is normal.

Vote:
YANBU - DD sounds normal for her age
YABU - DD sounds a bit babied/young for her age

She sounds fantastic.
Many 10 year olds start to leave their dolls behind at that age - but many still love them.
It is the crossover age. She might gradually start to change her interests over the next year but for now she is fine, sounds amazing and should carry on as she is for as long as she wants.

She sounds a tiny bit on the young side but otherwise very similar to my 10 year old (who will also be 11 next summer) who does the majority of the things you mention. She loves squishmallows (as do all her friends), Stitch seems to be all the rage.

Shes never been into Barbie but loves crafty things. She’s wraps her teddies up in blankets often. She has got into nails and play make-up stuff but it’s still in the OTT glamour phase rather than seriously using it.

Your daughter sounds lovely and perfect 😍

Oh and my sister in law played with her Barbies til she was 12 apparently 😉

She sounds entirely normal, OP (and your ex sounds like a wanker). My nine year old DD is very similar in terms of her interests. She does like some ‘older’ things like music, but still plays with dolls, enjoys drawing/crafts and has limited interest in fashion or makeup. Surely it’s preferable for a child of that age to enjoy toys rather than spending hours on TikTok?

Also, a minor point but how does he think he’s going to get her into a 15 film when she’s 10?

Mother to a 10 year old DD here.

10 is a very between age. And it depends on her classmates and contemporaries I think.

The girls in my DDs class are very much like your DD. Lots of girls got dolls for Christmas, role play Schleich horses and stables etc. They dress is sparkly T shirts with Unicorns on and mismatched leopard print leggings. They do guides and cubs and lots of outdoor time with family. Two girls have their ears pierced. The main topic of conversation is books. A few kids with older siblings will have watched a few 12s.

My niece is also 10. Different town. She is into skincare, Taylor Swift, make up, crop tops. She feels 13 or 14. She doesn't have tik tok but lots have screens and will watch videos and copy dances and knows about trends.

I'm not sure food choice comes into it. Surely it's about giving everyone a taste of everything and letting them decide what they like. My 10 year old would rather have sushi or curry than chicken nuggets or pizza but that's probably because that's the kind of food we eat as a family.

I’m a girl guide leader and see lots of 10-13 yr old girls. There’s a massive range at that age and your dc sounds lovely. On a coach trip recently one 10 yr old sat drawing and writing postcards to her family, another 10 yr old sat glued to phone watching gossip girl.

Year 6/7 is on the cusp. There will be many kids that age who decide they're too grown up for what you're describing, but many others who are still very much like your daughter.

If she has plenty of friends who enjoy spending time with her, then that speaks for itself really.

She sounds slightly on the ‘young’ side for 10 but there’s nothing wrong with that. Mine are 11 and 9, they very occasionally still play with dolls together but not very often anymore. Neither are into skincare or make up, but both do like more ‘grown up’ board games like Monopoly. They’re also both very into crafting.
And if she is young for her age… so what? Is he worried she’s going to be playing Lego animals when she’s 30?

Omg childhood is so short, let her enjoy all that stuff before the iphone/make up shite comes along.

My dd is Deaf. She was very similar at that age. I think in part it was because she couldn't keep up with the language - and particularly the increasingly sophisticated conversation - of her peers, so maintained her own interests. Additionally, she was just that kind of child - loved her toys, loved characters, loved the 'magic' - surprises, father Christmas, Easter bunny etc. She had friends and interacted well but never had a best friend and so her toys and dolls were very important to her. I had no problem with it and was even more keen to keep her off social media than I would have been, because she would not have understood any meanness or inappropriate stuff (through a combination of naivety and lack of experience).
She found her tribe at secondary school and now at 18 is perfectly typical of her age, although still walks her own path and is very confident in having different views and preferences to her peers.

She sounds great - my DD who is the same age still plays imaginatively but on SIMS rather than with dolls - but has built a whole city, thinks a lot about different characters, likes designing outfits and decorating the buildings. She would also like the craft activities and goes to Guides, swimming, drama. Her bed is full of soft toys but she wouldn’t carry them around.
DD is starting to be interested in skincare, makeup, pampering but I would resist it as long as possible. Def not encouraging this!
Why does your ex want her to grow up too fast? I might let my DD watch a 12A film but not a 15 - it’s not appropriate for her age group.She’s getting to the age where peers have more influence than you and inevitably she will grow up pretty rapidly in secondary school. Leave her be!

Your ex is a dick. Honestly! I still do some of the things on your list and I'm 53.
And he expects her to focus on skincare, makeup and fashion? Misogynist twat.

She sounds really happy, your ex sounds awful.

I have 3 DDS, all teens now but they all developed at different ages and were definitely still playing with toys in Y6.

The things that he wants for her, skincare, make up, worrying about fitting in, more interest in her phone and playing/watching age restricted games/films - what is his thinking behind that?

I don't think he has her best interests in mind here, only his own uncomfortable feelings about how she compares to other kids and the fucked up norms presented on social media.

Keep doing what you're doing.

Honestly she sounds absolutely lovely! She does sound young for her age compared to most kids I know (my daughter is 9, almost 10). I probably did all those things as a 10 year old (I definitely got a Barbie for my 10th birthday) but kids seem to grow up so much faster these days. That's not necessarily a good thing though and I don't see any benefit in forcing kids to grow up too fast. If she's happy, has friends who share similar interests and is doing fine at school then I don't see anything to worry about. The things your ex is suggesting sound too grown up for her! There is no need for a 10 year old to be using skin care and make up. And I've never heard any parent wishing their child spend more time on their devices.

Your daughter sounds great. She has a lovely range of age appropriate hobbies and things she likes doing.

Your ex sounds like an idiot. I'm sure you're relieved he is an ex.

Tell him to pack it in and leave your DD to do tge things she wants to do. I'd be worried he's going to say some of these things to her which could be really upsetting.

They're children for such a short time. Enjoy this time with her. Ignore him.

Sounds a bit on the young side but not in any way that would be a problem.
She'll probably grow up quite fast when she gets to secondary, but can't see any issues with letting her be herself and enjoy whatever she enjoys.

Seems a bit old for you to be washing and tying up her hair though - my partner's 7yo has been doing her own hair for a year or so, and while she doesn't wash it herself yet, I would be quite surprised if she didn't by 10.

@WrylyAmused I raised it with Audiology when we last saw them and they said they wouldn't be expecting them to be doing everything hair related by themselves until age 12 or so, and if she's slightly behind (likely due to her hearing aids) that could be closer to 13/14 anyway.

You could have written this about my 9 almost 10 year old who is in Year 5.

They grow up too quickly nowadays. It's all fine to me what you're saying, why force them to be something they're not.

Perhaps a bit young in her choices but not necessarily “babied” or a cause for concern

mine (boys) are 11 and 9 (nearly 10). Older boy has left toys behind but 9 yo still plays to some extent. Older boy is obsessed with his phone and gaming and I’d love it if he still played with toys. Your xdp is being a bit ridiculous trying to get her into screens! I’m literally the opposite.

I’d work on the clothes though as she gets ready for high school. Obviously she will be in uniform most of the time but I can totally imagine some bullying going on with girls with babyish clothes at that age. That said my eldest son is y7 and it’s quite amazing how some of his peers (not him!) have grown both physically and emotionally over the last year or so- so it might just happen naturally.

She’s fine. Your ex is a clueless idiot.

My dd was a mixture at that age.

Was into boy bands, fashion etc but also believed in Father Christmas and loved dolls.

One of her friends was also into dolls. They loved their "babies", dolls' pushchairs etc but sadly they were too embarrassed to take them anywhere that other girls from their school might see them. Children grow up too quickly and I always think it's sad if adults encourage them.

I used to teach in Foundation and year 6 children love an excuse to play with toys under the guise of helping younger ones.

@Normal10yoYesorNo She sounds fabulous and you have obviously done a great job.

I bloody hate this thinking that seems to exist now that 10 year olds should behave like they are already in their teens or twenties. Why the rush?! She'll never get to be a child (because that's what she is) again so good on her for enjoying and making the most of every bit of it. I can't imagine that when she's 90 she'll be looking back thinking gosh, if only I'd played, baked and crafted less.

All kids are different. She sounds similar to one of my nieces who is 11 and still loves Beanie Babies, soft toys and characters.

I would let DD like what she likes - no good will come of trying to force her out of what she enjoys, or making her feel insecure or like she's weird for not doing what everyone else is doing. What kind of a message is that!

On it's own that doesn't raise any concerns. Perfectly within the normal range. My two DDs were definitely still doing all of the above at 10 (and still do many of them at age 12/14!). However, my DC are both diagnosed with autism. The "young for their age" thing was only one of many other signs though.

She sounds exactly like 10 year olds used to be before the age of phones, iPads and the internet. My 2 girls were 10 pre internet and absolutely did all the things your DD does.Art, Lego, polly pockets, animal hospital sets and Barbie’s were their jam. Oh and a huge obsession with TY beanies.
Dont worry about her OP, she’s perfect, and her Dad sounds like an arse.