Does it sound like my DD is normal for 10 years old?

[Normal10yoYesorNo]

DD is 10, school year 6, will be 11 in 2025 but is the youngest in her year (end of July birthday).

ExH is insisting I baby her and that she’s too old to play with toys. Her school, however, have not raised any concerns from her play - they have a common room area for year 5s and 6s with age appropriate toys etc which DD loves, each class gets an hour a week in this common room (3 form entry school) and they’ve said DD plays fine with other girls (she rarely plays with the boys) and they play in an age appropriate way.

So does this sound normal:

• Loves baby dolls – dresses them, feeds them, puts them to bed, talks to them while she’s doing it. Hands them to her friends/me/her grandparents/teacher to “look after” and tells us how to do it before going off to play with other toys
• Also loves barbie dolls – dresses them up, has fashion shows, plays them as baby/dog/whatever sitter, brushes their hair. The children/baby barbies go to School and Guides etc while the adults do “boring” (her words) things like shopping and work
• Loves card games like Uno and Snap
• Loves some simpler board games like snakes and ladders
• Loves Lego – builds houses, zoos, farms and schools but never vehicles or space station or similar (I think we had a church once but it was a one off). Has most of the animal sets and always builds big multi people houses/places then has the animals running wild looking for their owners/keepers, she finds this hilarious and plays it a lot – she doesn’t build particular sets as such but asks for the general boxes or specific ones if they have people/animals in she wants
• She plays with things together so often the Lego Animals end up being the pets of the barbies etc.
• Loves Stuffed Animals and has many – she likes to put on shows with these, she sings and leaps about while they watch.
• Likes craft activities like card making, simple sewing, badge making – she absolutely loves glitter, stickers, glue, sequins etc.
• Likes baking cakes and bread/pizzas with me
• Her clothes still have characters like Stitch and Barbie on
• Her glasses are Crayola with a rainbow pattern on the side
• Her hearing aids are Blue one side and Pink the other (her choice)
• Her chosen extra curricular are Guides (Girlguides) and Choir – she could do more than 2 but chooses not to
• Still believes in Santa (although I plan to tell her the truth in the summer before she goes to secondary school)
• Starting to get into makeup for parties, discos at school etc. but doesn’t want it for general wear yet

ExH thinks she should be into none character clothes, makeup for the full face and skincare, grownup games like trivial pursuit and monopoly. He hasn’t bought her a single toy since she was about 8 saying she’s way too old. He thinks she should be more interested in her phone and tablet (don’t get me wrong she wants to use them and does but never asks to go on them, she’d rather play – the phone is for walking home from school and the tablet we take to appointments with us). He thinks her glasses need to be upgraded to designer labels so she “fits in” with her friends and her hearing aids should be changed to be less babyish. He thinks her activities should also be more grown up and has suggested Gymnastics and a language Class (She turned her nose up at Gymnastics and says she’s learning French at school so doesn’t want to do anymore yet, her potential secondary school offer French, Spanish, Mandarin and German as Extra Curriculars so she can always pick them up there – I am happy to pay for these if school ask me to)

For Christmas he bought her a TV for her room there and a playstation 5 with a couple of age 12 games as she’s “too old for toys now” which she says she isn’t really bothered by and wants to spend more time with me so she can play. When asked why age 12 games he said anything for age 7 up and younger seemed “babyish”.

For Christmas I got her some barbies, a bit more Lego (she has loads of the stuff), a few soft toys (including a dancing stitch thing that she would take absolutely everywhere with her if given the chance) and some clothes.

ExH thinks he ideal day out should be a grown up 12 or 15 movie followed by a meal at an Indian restaurant. Whereas I took her to the circus and out for pizza after during October Half Term and she still acts out her favourite bits of the circus with her toys now.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a fussy eater at all, eats most things but she will reject an entire meal still if she so much as sniffs the foods she doesn’t like and spicy is one of her things she doesn't like (anything spicy, even a tiny bit of onion can be too spicy). She also is very grown up in other areas. She very quickly mastered tying her school tie, always check she has her pin badges for school and guides on her uniform (and with guides makes sure they're in the correct place and can move them herself if they're not), sews her own badges onto her guides uniform (but can't do her camp blanket herself yet), she brushes her own hair (i still help her tie it up and wash it), cleans and looks after her own glasses and hearing aids, will take our dog on a short walk alone locally (unfamiliar areas or longer walks she still wants me with her), can feed the dog and knows to check her water bowl and refill it without me reminding her, will walk herself to Guides (but has to have an adult pick her up due to end time - which is fair enough), walks home from school 3 nights a week with her friends, makes her own bed in the morning etc. so she isn't by any means held back.

She does have a minor speech delay as well as hearing issues which need aids. She also has had glasses since age 3. School have absolutely no concerns about her, say she’s bang on academically in most subjects (it’s things which are more wordy like English and things requiring balance like PE she struggles in, she takes her aids out for PE so that is probably why). Audiology and ENT have never raised any concerns at all about her emotional age.

Does my DD sound normal for her age?

As I type this she’s emptying the lego box to make a rescue centre for abandoned animals, chattering away about what pieces she wants and why.

ExH says this isn't normal and i need to encourage more grownup activities for her. ExH has DD for 2 nights EOWend, no extra (his own choice) and DD is both of ours only child but ExH has neices and nephews where I don't so don't know whether I am just not used to knowing what is normal.

Vote:
YANBU - DD sounds normal for her age
YABU - DD sounds a bit babied/young for her age

Totally normal for children on the cusp of their teenage years to still enjoy toy, dolls, lego. Let her play. When she goes to secondary the growing up will come so fast. What on earth is wrong with your dh that he's wishing her childhood away. You are doing a fantastic job.

Your daughter sounds a bit young compared to peers - for example my yr 5 July born (so 9) wouldn’t play with dolls or Lego and has done things like wash her own hair for a few years. She’s not believed in Santa for a good few years (worked it out) and she’s very interested in make-up and experimenting. I’ve taught her not to be into skincare beyond moisturiser and cleanser - but some of her friends are.

However, who cares? She’s not going to play with Barbie’s at 18. And your ex sounds like a dick.

I have a daughter exactly the same age, she's just starting to get into skincare and clothes but this is recent and due to peer pressure more than anything else. My dd loves lego and cuddly toys too, your daughter sounds great and not behind in any way at all. There's no rush to grow up and we're adults for a long time. Sounds like you are doing everything right re independence etc. Don't stress, ex's are great at picking holes in parenting styles aren't they 🙄

she sounds fabulous op

i dont remember what age my youngest dd got a make up kit but neither she nor i were impressed.

She sounds fabulous, your ex sounds like a dick. I guess between you she'll get a fairly rounded parenting with both aspects.

Year 7 is a year of two extremes .
One half very much still Primary school ISH and actively playing with toys the other extreme are out til midnight, drinking, smoking, watching 18+ media and some even having sex already and then there's everyone else somewhere in between.

Sorry, I accidentally pressed Yabu and can’t change it. My 9 year old son is similar. But honestly, what’s the rush to grow up? The other thing is that I work in IT and many of my colleagues are very bright and successful, but are still really interested in nerdish things, especially Lego!! In fact I purposely have my husband’s lego in the background at home for Teams meetings so that it’s a conversation starter

My daughter is 1, but I’m hoping she likes all the things your daughter likes when she’s 10,

she really sounds wonderful

Oh, and my son likes Lego and he’s 17!

I meant to ask: why are girls ages 8 plus so interested in skincare? Most of them still have the most beautiful skin

I would think most 10 year olds have watched some selected 12 films but that’s not the same as saying she can only watch them - that’s just the voice of a weirdo!

He wants her in full face makeup? Sounds like a paedo.

Your ex.dh has probably got a gf with a daughter that age, who's more grown up. Not that that's necessarily a good thing.

I was more like your dd. Only gave up dolls in secondary because I was terrified of being found out. Dd still had dolls at 10, but got rid of them overnight in yr7, I suspect after a friend came round. Lego friends suffered the same fate later than year. She is v into makeup, clothes etc with no encouragement from me, although I don't deride her choices either. She's a kid who wants to fit and and has learned how to do that much, much earlier than I did.

I think my ds still plays with toys at 15, but he'd never admit it.

Your daughter sounds great. Your Ex has some strange and worrying ideas (full face make up at 10?!). I daresay when she starts secondary school she'll grow up fast, but I would be slightly concerned about bullying if she doesn't drop some of her interests once she's there eg dolls.

In fact I purposely have my husband’s lego in the background at home for Teams meetings so that it’s a conversation starter

you don’t have to be crazy to work here but it helps eh…..embarrassing

My Year 6 (just turned 11yo) DD is possibly young for her age in some aspects, but very mixed I think. She couldn't give a fig about skincare (not sure she knows what it is tbh) but has gotten quite into fashionable clothes now.
She definitely wouldn't wear character clothes, and anything with hearts, rainbows or unicorns would be met with a look of disgust. She doesn't care about designer labels though.
She likes nice bath stuff and has her own age-appropriate perfume, if we're going out somewhere nice she might put a bit of pink lip gloss on but I wouldn't say she's 'into' make up at all and I wouldn't want her to be at this age.
She has recently gotten a phone but it's very tightly locked down, no social media, no WhatsApp, strict parental controls and she isn't on it much. She mainly uses it to send cat pictures to my DM and her cousins, and to look up facts about Taylor Swift.
She does enjoy gaming but mainly the Sims and Animal Crossing, no interest in anything more 'adult' really.
She doesn't play with toys or dolls anymore but she has collected Beanie Boos for years and still keeps them all in a special box, every so often will get them all out, look at them and organise them. She still has soft toys and Squishmallows on her bed.
Activities are a team sport, a musical instrument, girl guides and a weekly dance class.
She's very fussy with food, goes through phases with foods and is particular about smells and textures.
She washes and brushes her own hair but needs prompting and encouragement to do so. She's forgetful and gets distracted easily.

DD is Autistic though so not sure she's what you have in mind when you're asking what's "normal".

Your Ex sounds like a prize dickhead by the way. Imagine being upset that your 10 year old isn't obsessed with skincare, make up and watching 15 rated films.

You can change it by just clicking YANBU instead.

This is a weird old question. She sounds entirely normal to me. My ten year would love her

generally kids into screens etc grow up sooner. Your ex husband sounds like a lunatic

Sorry, just saw he was your Ex. So pleased to read that he sounds like a twat!

I teach this year group. Totally normal/ standard/ age appropriate. Your Ex is a berk. All chn are different and have varying interests though. Some never play with dolls, some love Lego, some don’t. She’s just fine

Nothing wrong with her!

Children grow up far too quickly these days. I've seen videos of 10 year olds with elaborate skincare routines and expensive makeup.

I find it sad.

She honestly sounds fabulous.

Good for you. But lots of kids who are still of primary age still believe. In the early 90s I remember telling a classmate that Santa wasn’t real on the last day of primary (she was going to a rough school and I didn’t want people taking the piss)

Adults play with Lego too! In fact there are sets aimed at them. My DD just turned 10 and loves Lego!

My daughter is 13 and processes her school day through play with Barbies and Our Generation dolls. She does this on her own. She is also into skincare, pop music and hanging out with her friends at the shopping centre or cafes.

I'd say the dolls will disappear in 2025 but I have zero concerns about her development. Let them be kids!

She is way too young for a tv in her room.

Ignore everything he says.