DS, DSS and the dog

[RemyT]

DP moved in with me and my DS13 last year. He has DSS13 who stays every weekend and all school holidays (6 weeks in the summer etc).

DP brought his dog with him, which is technically DSS' but he didn't walk, feed or play with her.

DS has always wanted a dog so was over the moon when she arrived.

DS was walking the dog every day, playing with her and sometimes feeding her. DP was happy with this as he's historically done it every day and quite enjoyed the break. After a few months of this, the dog became quite attached to DS and wouldn't really pay much attention to DSS. This made DSS unhappy as she's 'his' dog, so DP suggested DS back off slightly and DSS walked her etc. This lasted about 3 weeks, then DSS had enough and stopped doing anything so DS started helping again.

Fast forward to now, the dog is again quite attached to DS and DSS has had a meltdown and said to DP that DS is no longer allowed to walk her etc.

DP is at work today but has suggested we have a chat about the situation later. Do people agree DS shouldn't walk and play with her at all as it's upsetting DSS?

I kind of feel for DSS because it’s like his dog has been taken from him and given to his step brother. DSS didn’t choose for his parents to split or to lose living with his dog fulltime.

DSS needs to accept that a DDog will be most affectionate to whoever they are most used to. DS lives with DDog full time and so DS takes care of him most of the time, so DDog is rewarding that.

If DSS is jealous, then-

• Can DDog go back and forth with DSS between homes so he has DDog full time?
• DSS realises it’s not personal- Dogs gravitate towards whoever they live with full time and DDog is still DSS’ dog and still likes him.
• DSS needs to understand that the DDog closeness and affection is a reward for how much effort and care DDog gets from any person.
• The fact DDog likes DS, means that his dog is being loved and cared for when DSS isn’t there.

DSS should also understand that dogs are sentient creatures. They have their own minds and will give their affection where it is deserved.

This is his lesson to learn.

Did I say to do that? No I said discover what was going on with DSS and then come up with workable suggestions.
There's no dog that needs to exclusively walked by one person and I'm sure the dog would be happy to be walked by DP and DSS from time to time.

.DSS didn’t choose for his parents to split or to lose living with his dog fulltime.

Has he ever lived with the dog full time?

Fucksake. Step parenting bingo right there.

@MissRoseDurward No he's never lived with the dog full time