To ask my partner to walk me to the bus stop?

[eightsaie]

I'm heading into town
The bus stop is a minute walk around the corner but it's really icy outside and my shoes have no grip at all.
I fell over yesterday and got a bit of a shock.
I'm going to grab some better footwear in town.
I said to my partner do you mind walking me to the bus stop so I can hold on to you just incase I fall.
He kicked off saying who walks him back home?
So I get to the bus stop with no thought for him etc etc
Anyway I said it's okay il just walk around myself-if I fall I fall
Aibu to ask him?
He says it's his only day off

Hello, missing the point I realise but you could order some over the shoe grips to tide you over (if you don't use the sock over shoes), if you have something like Amazon Prime you could get next day delivery and save yourself having to go out until it's less icy. I have something similar and they are good. Wellington boots as an alternative via delivery too

I'm going to go against the grain here and say YANBU. You feel vulnerable and asked the person who is meant to care about you to support you.

I hope you get some good shoes.

It would be if she asked for help because she didn’t feel safe on the ice, had previously slipped, and he had decent enough balance.

Well I say that, it wouldn’t actually be his fault per se, but if she goes out, slips on the ice and breaks her ankle, would you honestly feel anything at all if you could have helped? Irrespective of if you’re a man or not.

I don't think you're being very unreasonable because you fell yesterday and obviously that's panicked you a bit. My DH might have rolled his eyes and made a joke comment but he'd have done as I asked I think.
Are you able to walk in the road if that's not busy and potentially less icy?

Not unreasonable to ask, but also not unreasonable for him to not want to, really. The pavements aren't gritted near me and I've nipped out this morning at 7 months pregnant in trainers, and been okay. If that weren't the case, I wouldn't be going out alone, and it doesn't sound like you're appropriately coping with the weather to go into town alone or run errands for your Dad.

Everyone's physical fitness/muscle tone/ability to balance are different, but if yours isn't great, you'd be better to stay inside today. People in snow shoes and wellies are the minority. I'm in knackered old Vans, they're the only thing that fits my swollen feet!

I do think my DH would have walked with me, but I think he'd then have come into town with me, to be honest, to make sure I was okay the whole time if I needed to hold onto him during the walk and I was shaken up from falling yesterday. So perhaps his reluctance was that he doesn't want to spend his day off doing that?

Why not buy shoes online? If you’d ordered them yesterday, they’d have been with you today.

I mean my partner help each other out (I just made his breakfast so he could fit in parkrun before work) but it would never occur to me (a fit healthy person) to ask another human to help me deal with a tiny walk when it is a bit icy. I'd simply take care and as people have said if my shoes were not suitable use one of the temporary solutions suggested here such as socks over shoes.

OP there are methods of walking safely on the ice such as taking shorter slower steps and keeping your arms at your side that also help.

Where we are they haven't even done any of the side roads - there are some that have been white with ice and snow for nearly a week now.

Either get a cab, or wait til it's thawed

Our council haven't gritted pavements for over 25 years. They only roads they do are the main ones. No side streets, housing estates etc literally just the bare minimum.

My DH has driven my car to the end of the next street (a bus route so gritted) for me all week because it’s icy and I am not as confident as him driving in the ice (he used to have to in his job). He then walked back and did the same when I was coming home.
It was nice of him and I appreciate it.
Relationships are about give and take.

(sits back and waits to be told that she is undermining all women, that some people don’t have that option, how pathetic is she, etc)

Ha ha! I'll stop complaining about our council then. Hadn't realised how uncommon it was for councils not to grit pavements!

I mean, to answer your question simply @eightsaie its essentially this.

Ask the people of the world
Yes he should help you if he can. This is what couples do, they help each other. If you are genuinely afraid that you’re going to fall over and hurt yourself and he has good balance then why wouldn’t he do this simple thing for you? Just as you would do something simple for him if he couldn’t do it.

Ask the people of mumsnet
No! Are you on glue? Are you some kind of damsel in distress, don’t you know you’re setting feminism back 100 years. I couldn’t open a jar last night and do you think I asked my husband for help? Of course not, that would be silly. I just sulked and went without tea for that evening, like the suffragettes would have done.

Also, buy more shoes.

I guess it depends on the type of relationship
you have, I think my DH would do that for me, but I don’t think I would ever feel like I needed to ask him to
do something like that unless I was pregnant or injured. If you just lean your centre of gravity forward while kind of walking on your heels you would be fine.

Do you really not own a pair of wellies or something more suitable. Unless you have just moved here from the Tropics, this can’t be the first icy January you have encountered?

How big are your socks?!?

Put some trainers on?

Exactly. I think people are so caught up on their faux outrage on here that they haven't considered that it's only 1 minute so hardly a big ask. We are supposed to treat our partners with kindness but he is being selfish imo

Find an old pair of socks the thicker and fluffier the better and put them in over your shoes. Your feet will stick to the floor

DH is driving me to the bus stop later, because the route to the main road is like glass just now, but completely fine after that. I’m going into town for a birthday lunch and I want to wear nice shoes not practical ones.

I don’t think asking him has set back feminism and I don’t think YABU OP. However, given you’re a bit stuck until you buy some new shoes, try the socks trick, and remember this day the next time he asks you for a favour…

So you fell yesterday, you are trying to get the right shoes to prevent it happening again and the bus stop is just down the road?

YANBU - I'd walk someone that distance in this situation, any half decent adult would do the same for me if I asked. Certainly pretty much every adult I know would have helped in these circumstances.

Those exercised by performative feminism might want to expend their energies toward shoe manufacturers who routinely make women's shoes with smooth soles whereas many men's shoes have grippy soles - even where both are similar designs.

This. Exactly this!

@devilspawn the cheap fluffy/cosy socks are great for this. They're really stretchy so do go over shoes and the fibres stick to the ice on the floor so you don't slip

Wear different shoes.

Read the OP.

I’d get the hump if my partner reacted like yours. Mine would gladly walk me, he would probably offer before even being asked knowing I had just had a bad fall and am likely to again. Dump this selfish toad.