To ask my partner to walk me to the bus stop?

[eightsaie]

I'm heading into town
The bus stop is a minute walk around the corner but it's really icy outside and my shoes have no grip at all.
I fell over yesterday and got a bit of a shock.
I'm going to grab some better footwear in town.
I said to my partner do you mind walking me to the bus stop so I can hold on to you just incase I fall.
He kicked off saying who walks him back home?
So I get to the bus stop with no thought for him etc etc
Anyway I said it's okay il just walk around myself-if I fall I fall
Aibu to ask him?
He says it's his only day off

I mean seriously??!!!! Women get treated like shit because someone asks their partner to walk them two minutes down the road cos she’d already fell over once. You need to read up on manners and feminism 😂😂

Get some ice shoe grips for when it is icy outside.

https://www.gooutdoors.co.uk/winter-essentials/ice-grips/

If you don't want to spend the money, tying rubber bands around your shoes can improve grip on ice.

Not true. The partner may be much more steady on their feet, or have footwear with much better grip in snow and ice, in which case the risk for them is considerably lower.

If I’m waiting for a bus and it’s a male sitting in the driver’s seat I refuse to get on. The last thing I want to do is give the impression that I need a man to get to get to town for my groceries.

It's not a random guy though, its someone she's in a relationship with.
Do you have an OH? If so, do you not ever do things for each other that you could perhaps have managed alone?
I asked DH to get eggs the other day as he was out and I had just arrived home. I could have gone back out, but he just had to stop at a shop instead of driving past. Giving and taking in balance is a nice part of a relationship and I don't feel like I get treated like shit.

Not feeling the need to ask for help in this situation is fine, sneering at others for having a different opinion...not so much.

We all don't get 'treated like shit'.
To be honest, I don't see the connection you are trying to make.

I’m not saying we all get treated like shit what I’m saying is that it’s hardly a big bloody ask is it? and there are so many posters saying oh are you disabled? Are you vulnerable? It’s just bloody ridiculous! Every relationship has its own dynamics but for fuck sake! - are we really at - why should they make you a cup of tea, can you not do that yourself? Why would they walk you to the bus stop can you not walk without being aided, why should they say they love you, OP I mean, do you not love you? Why do you need to be in a relationship with some who loves you?it’s up to you to love you, it’s a bit of an ask isn’t it… mean, just because you’re in a relationship … and you want a birthday card?!? Youre a bit grabby blah blah blah blah blah It’s just bloody ridiculous! What the fuck is the point of being in a relationship then? If your boyfriend walking you one minute to a fucking bus stop is a big ask these days then god almighty help us all.

Well, excuse me. I honestly thought it was a joke thread to begin with. So shoot me.

It might or might not be a joke thread, but it's a situation any of us could be in.
Shoes with no grip, scared of falling on the ice because you fell yesterday, so wife asks husband for help.
Her asking, and his response is what has triggered the debate. 14 pages of it so far.

It's hardly world shattering, but quite a realistic scenario, imo.

A tad melodramatic? 😂 I’m only joking. That made me laugh .

You did say "No wonder we all get treated like shit"....that's what I didn't understand.

Do you understand now? I made a generalisation. I thought that was pretty obvious. My mistake.

You're both in the wrong.

He's hateful and you're mindless.

He needs to be more supportive. You need to not go out in the ice, order shoes with better grip, think about how you will manage in town without him to hold onto, and maybe get a taxi instead?

He should think about you falling and coming to harm, if he has decent shoes. At the same time, you should not be putting either of you into a harmful situation which might end up needing an Ambulance when they are already pressured!

He could have sat down and explained the above in a mature way, rather than berate you.

So! Both of you have a lot of thinking to do.

You're getting loads of stick here OP. I completely get it. I have zero balance and icy pavements terrify me. But some people are totally unsympathetic.

I think you are very unreasonable for living in the Northern Hemisphere and not having shoes with a decent grip.

There's a lot of people in Crete, Dubai, the Sahara, Singapore who are tragically ill-prepared for icy pavements.

You do know that the Northern hemisphere isn't colder that the Southern?

You’re not being unreasonable. You fell, had a shock and needed a bit of understanding and support from your partner who is meant to love and respect you.

Haven't you got any boots? I've got a fear of falling, it has happened to me a few times especially in bad weather. Its certainly frightening . I'm in my 70s but wouldn't dream of asking for help walking, I put my hiking boots on and get going!

Ah sorry, you are going out to buy better footwear...

Such snide replies.
I'm frightened of falling too, my kids will walk me up to the taxi. What's wrong with that? It's what people DO for each other.

If I asked my DH to do this he would say yes. But then he’s a gentleman.

It sounds like you have only one pair of shoes. If they have no tread, they should be thrown away. In this weather you need a stout pair of boots - M&S have a good selection.

A) she says she's got loads of shoes
B) that's ridiculous, a pair of shoes can be completely fit for purpose in most circumstances while still not being good enough for ice. A stout pair of walking boots would be wholly unsuitable for a trip to the beach but that doesn't mean you should throw them away in August.

It's not because she was dressed up.
Its because she had a nasty on the ice fall walking there wearing her trainers the day before. She couldn't access her wellies due to moving house.
She was going on the bus to get replacements and to check in on her elderly dad.
She asked her partner (who had good grip work shoes) if he would walk with her

I don't see it as a feminist issue at all, merely one person helping out another. And not being inconvenienced doing so.