To ask my partner to walk me to the bus stop?

[eightsaie]

I'm heading into town
The bus stop is a minute walk around the corner but it's really icy outside and my shoes have no grip at all.
I fell over yesterday and got a bit of a shock.
I'm going to grab some better footwear in town.
I said to my partner do you mind walking me to the bus stop so I can hold on to you just incase I fall.
He kicked off saying who walks him back home?
So I get to the bus stop with no thought for him etc etc
Anyway I said it's okay il just walk around myself-if I fall I fall
Aibu to ask him?
He says it's his only day off

But he's right. If you are saying that it's not safe for a person to walk on the ice by themself, it's not safe for your partner to walk back by themself.
You are asking him to do what you are saying you shouldn't have to.

Everybody is different though. It’s good it’s easy for you but maybe OP doesn’t want to walk with bulky boxes to a collection point.

And if anything happens to the shoes, you don’t get a refund.

She didn’t have shoes with a good grip, he does. She does a lot for him, it would be nice of her to wanted to help her sometimes too.

I wasn't actually replying to the OP. My suggestion to her wasn't to order shoes online.

I was replying to the poster who made assumptions about all of us MNers buying shoes online because we all have standard sized feet or wear only uncomfortable footwear. And then a further post suggesting that it's stressful to return online purchases. That's simply not true for many of us.

I'm not the narrow minded one. I know everyone is different.

But that poster was just standing up for OP in the face of all the narrow minded posts telling OP to just buy online.

Me too. last time I ordered shoes online, they crippled me...it cost 8 or 9 ££ to send them back....useless.

Well, it’s great you have the money available to buy two sets of shoes when you need them
but funnily enough not everyone is as fortunate in that department as you. The lack of self awareness from some posters on here is actually unbelievable sometimes.

So you've never heard of Klarna? Or a store credit account? Or a credit card?

How weird.

Not everyone wants to get into debt for a pair of boots.

You don't have to go into debt...you return the ones you don't need immediately and pay off the balance for the ones you keep in full straight away.

And again. I didn't say the OP should buy shoes online.

I pointed out it's perfectly possible to buy comfortable shoes that fit online (even when you're disabled, like me, with inability to buy "normal shoes") when another poster indicated that all MNers must have standard feet or uncomfortable shoes.

As I said, I'm often housebound so can't get out and I need shoes. It's not ridiculous to suggest people can successfully buy footwear online...because many of us have no other choice.

I agree, this is the real issue.

Its not much to ask your partner to spend 5 minutes helping you out when it doesn't inconvenience them ( because he had the correct shoes, before there is a deluge of shoe talk) and then have them "kicking off" instead. It's just not a nice way to treat your partner.
Also she didn't have time to wait for deliveries.
She wanted to check in on her elderly dad in the cold weather, which is a nice thing.

Sometimes our partners ask for us to do things that we find a bit strange or wouldn't ask ourselves. But because we are their partner we just get on with it and help out. OP asked for 2 minutes out of his day because she felt vulnerable. It doesn't matter if it was reasonable to feel vulnerable or not, that's how she felt. His reaction is the main issue here.
Over and over again, all professionals involved in couple counselling say the best indicator that a relationship is going to work is if the people involved are kind to each other. Why wouldn't you want to take 2 minutes to help your partner when they felt vulnerable.

The posters who feel it's asking too much of a partner to help them out when they need 5 minutes of their time...must have very low expectations of how a partnership should be.

The cab might not be able to stop right outside so you could still have a few steps on the ice.

I knew there was zero risk of that, so I was able to go have a lovely day out without carrying a spare pair of shoes around with me.

OP, glad he stepped up!

Nonsense. We're just saying that it's not something we'd ask.

That's not what many have said though is it?
They have made out the OP is weak and helpless, letting down the whole woman's lib movement, for daring to ask her partner for help.

Yes - but that doesn’t mean that we have low standards in our own relationships, just that this isn’t a test we’d put our partner through. Different standards about ourselves maybe, rather than low standards for our partners.

YABU get some snow boots. Not expensive

I dont think you're being unreasonable.. you're obviously anxious about falling. If I'd asked my husband to walk with me because it would make me feel better then he'd do it 100%. He knows I suffer badly from anxiety though. I know many people are saying you're being soft/you need to suck it up, but as someone who has anxiety i can completely understand and find your husbands reaction a bit unnecessary

That’s why she was going out in the first place

My husband would walk me and not even think about it. It’s about helping your partner and being kind to each other.if he needed me to do something then I would do it too.

I’m in my 50’s, I’m about the most low maintenance person there is. I’ve always been and over giving people pleasing sap and I have never in my life had to ask a guy to walk me to the bus stop if I’m dressed up, heels on etc. No wonder we all get treated like shit.

It’s not unreasonable for you to worry about walking on ice, but a better option would be to buy some footwear with good grip (if you need the shoes for the office, take them with you in a bag), or buy some ‘snow grips’.
www.amazon.co.uk/Grectek-Crampons-Traction-Stretch-Footwear/dp/B0BNDLMGRP/ref=sr_1_5?crid=GWZV3V6VWC8R&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.W3S24_NDajlME_6YNqzMDbqBdZV3irFbDxi-EQx3E-nOq7UYq9B8CAic5ed7sv5tfx1KtvaDKbZg4Go5DHdqi0yD-wWmSHo3e1NzwQa1RkPP_R5XFO7Q6yERWND7vopCL-GKOgOfV5yi3u6MzRQKNnQnbv7J6d17KDwnG0ByAIdAA5PEekj-S3THUl2KNlGLxbOOroCWk-eDQx67VYY8IigdHSb6z9kcZH1fP2rTZSMb8RYSla4TsaKPS8qhxGRb5_ecaHYFD5FV-VbAzbcSryxa3sHoDcLKrh0nXuleLSLM_AFp9mCcXvLYFr83JBLhk6Wt85olDEw0LvNjYO8ht7UKV02fg2Uy1U9RA0lSwxo.eHuSEtATpqN4miKU2TseBCIqlE64OZymKNgP_PWGfDY&dib_tag=se&keywords=Snow%2Bgrips&qid=1736705723&s=sports&sprefix=snow%2Bgrips%2Csports%2C96&sr=1-5&th=1

omg its not a demand it’s a simple thing to ask that would’ve taken fifteen minutes out of his day. My DH would’ve offered/my 85 year old grandad would’ve too! It’s just a nice thing to do