DD no longer allowed to walk from school.

TheWonderhorse · 2025-01-10T14:42:25+00:00

DD is 9 and has been walking from school to a car park just off the grounds (not the official school car park but closer). She's been really wanting to walk home but we compromised at this for now and would work up to that gradually. I signed a consent form to permit them to release her. So this morning the school sent a letter out saying that they've had a rethink to all parents, and from Monday only Year 6 children are to be allowed to leave the classroom without a parent. DD is Year 4 but the oldest in her class, meaning we won't be allowed to start this again for 17 months. AIBU to ask the head to reconsider? I know they can't really refuse to let her out, but I don't want to be a dick. I just feel like DD is being held back for no good reason at all. We have this covered and didn't need the school to intervene. IABU, school know best. IANBU it's up to the parent to judge what's safe for the child.

AnotherDelphinium · 10/01/2025 14:44

I think I’d probably speak to the school to check the didn’t have any intelligence that there was a specific threat and then go from there.

If you’re happy with it and have no concerns then go with your judgement.

HPandthelastwish · 10/01/2025 14:46

They can refuse to let a child leave if they reasonably believe that it is not safe for them to leave. You'll have to talk to the school, perhaps provide a printout of her journey and sign to say you take full responsibility, but they don't have to agree

Chasingsquirrels · 10/01/2025 14:47

TBH I was that "dick". Don't actually think it is being a dick myself, just using you wording.

I just told the class teacher that DS would be walking home on his own, she said they needed it in writing and I emailed the office to confirm.
That was after Easter in Yr 4, he'd been walking to school by himself for most of Yr 4 already.

supercalafrog · 10/01/2025 14:50

I genuinely don’t know legally how the school can police this rule! There are children ,even nowadays who have to walk home on their own because parents are working.

Original poster

TheWonderhorse · 10/01/2025 14:50

I already gave consent for her to leave, they're overruling that. By "being a dick" I meant that to deal with this if they're refusing means going over the headmaster's head.

OP posts:

Bushmillsbabe · 10/01/2025 14:50

Our school is year 6 only, to prepare for going to secondary, and only if they have a mobile phone (handed into reception at startbof school day and given back at end).
The problem for the school is they don't know if you are in the car park. You could be held up one day, your phone is out of battery so can't let school know, and your daughter walks there to find no one there.

My oldest is year 4 too, September born so oldest in the year. I'm not particularly cautious, she walks to Brownies at end of our road on her own, to friends in our road, to postbox etc, but school pick up is something I would do until at least mid year 5 even if didn't have to. It's an opportunity for teachers to speak to you if any issues.

Original poster

TheWonderhorse · 10/01/2025 14:52

HPandthelastwish · 10/01/2025 14:46

They can refuse to let a child leave if they reasonably believe that it is not safe for them to leave. You'll have to talk to the school, perhaps provide a printout of her journey and sign to say you take full responsibility, but they don't have to agree

What, they're going to keep her? Report to SS that a 9 year old is being met about 50ft from the school gate? They've let her do it since October. I'm very confused.

OP posts:

Chasingsquirrels · 10/01/2025 14:56

Given that it is a change in policy I'd definitely be asking them to explain their reasoning and telling them that you don't agree with it and want her to be able to continue to leave unaccompanied.
Unless they have additional information relating to increased risk, in which case I'd reassess.

gingerlybread · 10/01/2025 14:57

I don't think the school can legally keep your child until they are collected. Especially if you communicate with them in writing to express your wishes.
They do not have any right to keep your child on their premises against your wishes unless they have a child protection concern, and even then this would require police and social work involvement.
If you are happy to let your child walk home they have absolutely no right to interfere. As for the poster who suggested that children couldn't walk home without a phone !?!?!!
I'd be unhappy about a 5 to 7 year old walking home alone but it would still be perfectly legal.

HPandthelastwish · 10/01/2025 14:57

I said they can not that they will its af their discretion but often the can be reasonable in a case by case basis. I'd go to a meeting prepared to make your case so that they can say you took responsibility.

There may well have been cases of poor behaviour from other children on the way home, poor behaviour in the buses, stranger flagged near the school etc.

The easiest way to deal with it is a blanket ban and then case by case exceptions

Tangled123 · 10/01/2025 14:58

TheWonderhorse · 10/01/2025 14:52

What, they're going to keep her? Report to SS that a 9 year old is being met about 50ft from the school gate? They've let her do it since October. I'm very confused.

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If it’s only 50ft, why not just meet her at school?
Its worth asking the school if they’d make an exception because the journey is so short, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

verycloakanddaggers · 10/01/2025 15:04

Ultimately there are only two outcomes - either the school can make this call or they can't. There is no point having a hostile conversation in either case, but it is fine to ask them to lay out their legal grounds for overruling the parent and then politely challenging.

The school has duties, but your family has rights. Sometimes it takes a little back and forth to find out which one trumps the other.

So speak to school and query it, but be prepared for it to take a while and just keep calmly pushing the query through the system. In the meantime, comply with their stated position and explain to your DD you are asking the question.

TheMintDuck · 10/01/2025 15:05

As another poster has mentioned above, have you told your daughter what to do if for some reason she got to the car park and you had not yet arrived? It could be that something has occurred which has made them realise that greater caution needs to be taken. I would not go in all guns blazing but ask if there is a specific 'threat' at this time and explain exactly where it that you meet your daughter. Then they can either make an exception for you, or you will have a bit more info as to the change of policy.

Ineedpeaceandquiet · 10/01/2025 15:08

She is still a young child and there doesn't seem to be any real need/reason for her to walk alone 50ft to the car park.
Just wait till year 6 like everyone else does.

deeahgwitch · 10/01/2025 15:09

Chasingsquirrels · 10/01/2025 14:56

Given that it is a change in policy I'd definitely be asking them to explain their reasoning and telling them that you don't agree with it and want her to be able to continue to leave unaccompanied.
Unless they have additional information relating to increased risk, in which case I'd reassess.

I agree.
The school changing their policy would ring alarm bells with me.
Why the change ?
Is there something going on behind the scenes that has worried the school ?
Have the police warned them of something ?
A flasher ?
A specific threat ?
I'd check this out before going in all guns blazing

Tia86 · 10/01/2025 15:10

Have you actually spoken to the school yet asking them why they have changed this?
Maybe there has been a safeguarding issue that has made them rethink. Maybe this is guidance coming from above (maybe county level rather than school specific).

My children's school don't let year 4 or younger leave alone, it is only year 5 and upwards which I thought was the norm.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 10/01/2025 15:11

Could be that they're worried about 9 year olds getting squished by idiot drivers either in the car park or on the way to and from it. You only have to see the chaos directly around the school gates between 8 and 9 and 2.10 - 4pm to realise how easily something can happen.

Original poster

TheWonderhorse · 10/01/2025 15:12

Tangled123 · 10/01/2025 14:58

If it’s only 50ft, why not just meet her at school?
Its worth asking the school if they’d make an exception because the journey is so short, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

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Because she likes the independence, and it's the start of a process.

I have asked the head of meeting her there was okay and he replied to say that she would need to be met at the classroom.

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helpfulperson · 10/01/2025 15:12

Move to Scotland. We don't have this nonsense here. It's up to the parents to decide.

Original poster

TheWonderhorse · 10/01/2025 15:14

TheMintDuck · 10/01/2025 15:05

As another poster has mentioned above, have you told your daughter what to do if for some reason she got to the car park and you had not yet arrived? It could be that something has occurred which has made them realise that greater caution needs to be taken. I would not go in all guns blazing but ask if there is a specific 'threat' at this time and explain exactly where it that you meet your daughter. Then they can either make an exception for you, or you will have a bit more info as to the change of policy.

Yes, she knows that if for any reason we aren't there to collect her that she's to go and wait in reception with the other kids who aren't collected on time.

We explained and agreed this two months ago. No issues so far.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheWonderhorse · 10/01/2025 15:14

helpfulperson · 10/01/2025 15:12

Move to Scotland. We don't have this nonsense here. It's up to the parents to decide.

It's supposed to be up to the parents here (Wales) too.

OP posts:

verycloakanddaggers · 10/01/2025 15:15

Ineedpeaceandquiet · 10/01/2025 15:08

She is still a young child and there doesn't seem to be any real need/reason for her to walk alone 50ft to the car park.
Just wait till year 6 like everyone else does.

but not everyone does wait til Yr6. Also, why does everyone have to fit in with your personal view of how things must be done?

Either the school or the parent is in charge of this decision. If the school, the OP will have to fall in line. If the parent, the school is overstepping. This is an important point of principle I think.

x2boys · 10/01/2025 15:16

deeahgwitch · 10/01/2025 15:09

I agree.
The school changing their policy would ring alarm bells with me.
Why the change ?
Is there something going on behind the scenes that has worried the school ?
Have the police warned them of something ?
A flasher ?
A specific threat ?
I'd check this out before going in all guns blazing

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If there is shouldn't the school be sharing it with parents?

x2boys · 10/01/2025 15:20

helpfulperson · 10/01/2025 15:12

Move to Scotland. We don't have this nonsense here. It's up to the parents to decide.

It must be individual school, s because I didn't have this nonsense either when my son was at primary school, and I'm not sure how they could police it anyway all the kids came piling out at the same time teachers wouldn't know if a parent was waiting or not.

PopGoesBang · 10/01/2025 15:22

Potentially, to save a lot of everything I'd maybe ask a parent I know if they'd be happy for dd to say she is going with them. Teacher can have a wave from said adult if in doubt.
Dd can then leave and meet you. If they have someone on the gate dd walks with adult and then heads off.
I'm sure your dd would go along with this to keep the independence and you don't have to overhaul the school rules totally.

I vaguely remember my dd's school doing something like this, and x's mum who was collecting a younger sibling but knew us also 'collected' a number of other children who would then leave as they had been before.