DD no longer allowed to walk from school.

[TheWonderhorse]

DD is 9 and has been walking from school to a car park just off the grounds (not the official school car park but closer). She's been really wanting to walk home but we compromised at this for now and would work up to that gradually. I signed a consent form to permit them to release her.

So this morning the school sent a letter out saying that they've had a rethink to all parents, and from Monday only Year 6 children are to be allowed to leave the classroom without a parent.

DD is Year 4 but the oldest in her class, meaning we won't be allowed to start this again for 17 months. AIBU to ask the head to reconsider? I know they can't really refuse to let her out, but I don't want to be a dick. I just feel like DD is being held back for no good reason at all. We have this covered and didn't need the school to intervene.

IABU, school know best.
IANBU it's up to the parent to judge what's safe for the child.

But let said perv have free reign with Year Six?

I'd be politely emailing asking for clarification, has there been a change in policy. What was the old policy?
I'd be polite, but underneath narked because I suspect they don't have a leg to stand on!

Have you emailed the school your concerns yet OP? What was their response?

Sorry yes I got a response yesterday saying that they haven't risk assessed individual children but that staff felt uncomfortable letting children go without an adult.

I replied saying that I'm highly disappointed that staff aren't comfortable with parents parenting their children. That as staff haven't risk assessed each individual child, and parents have, that they are best placed to make that decision and asked him to reconsider at least for year 5. (Wouldn't cover DD yet but it's a start.)

So for no actual reason, just because staff felt uncomfortable. Urgh. I would be tempted to tell them that's not good enough and your DD will be walking out alone but you probably don't want to have issues between you and the staff.

"Staff felt uncomfortable", wow, that's a great well argumented reason. The only better one would be "because we said so".

Felt uncomfortable? That isn't even a reason. That's not a policy or a rule. I'd be writing back saying, oh if it's only that, not a rule or policy or law, then I'll continue as before.

I'd be sorely tempted to reply that I couldn't give a monkey's how the staff felt about it, that I was the mother and it only mattered what I felt about it. And I was very comfortable with the decision I had made concerning my daughter.

But you should probably go with one of the more diplomatic replies above 😀

'Staff felt uncomfortable' is not your problem, OP.

You are the parent and you have risk assessed the situation for your own child. Tell them you expect your child to continue walking to you/home as she does and that you will put the request formally in writing accepting all responsibility for your parenting decision. You will be happy to entertain any 'referral' the school wishes to make about your decision.

Again, what is the magic difference between 9 and 10? Most kids getting into drug gangs will be at secondary school anyway.

Exactly! As I said above, Millie Dowler was 13.

Sarah Everard was an adult.

Both abducted while walking along minding their own business.

Millie Dowler was abducted 22 years ago. The fact you still remember her name proves how rare this is.

It's this exactly. I do feel strongly about it but am I really going to put DD in the middle of a standoff? I might write to the governors instead.

Yes I think that is the conundrum I would be pushing to get it at least for Year 5 for everyone.

The Governors only have oversight on strategic issues, not operational ones - which this is.

As a governor, I don't think this is something we would get involved with, as its operational rather than strategic.

Agree with others. Not a gov issue as operational. But also would push for Yr5

She'll be in year 6 before you finish whining on about this. You've made your point and the school have made theirs. Yes they've changed the rules. Why don't you make that into a learning experience for your DD, then it will have some value.
You will never win this battle. Just pick her up from the school.

I last posted about this over two weeks ago so my "whining" is done, it's you resurrecting this.

I have achieved a compromise based on a reasonable discussion with the head and he has agreed to look at the possibility of allowing year 5 to walk from September.

My DD knows I'm willing to back the school with a ridiculous PTA workload which earns the school thousands of pounds a year, I sing the school's praises when they do well (and they do - a lot!) but I am not afraid to have DD see that I'm prepared to respectfully question rules which I feel do more harm than good. I think that's worth something.

But thank you for the input.

Apologies , this just appeared on my feed. I'm glad that you were able to reach an agreement of sorts. I do agree with you, but just felt at the time it was getting out of proportion, but I also do understand that it's deeper than face value. I think also it caught me at a snipish moment! Best wishes!🙂

No worries and thank you.

AIBU rarely brings out the best in any of us 🙈

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I think age 9/ year 4 is very young.

If you want to start the process, why not meet her at school so that she’s “released”
and let her walk the end part of the journey on her own?

I do agree it’s strange they go by year group but my view would be that children can walk from the term they turn 11. I wouldn’t be letter autumn born kids walk alone in yr 5, as I think 10 is too young.

Most schools I know only allow this from Y6. It probably is erring on the side of caution, but isn't that a good thing if the alternative is children not being ready to cross roads etc on their own? Just meet her 50m nearer.