DD no longer allowed to walk from school.

[TheWonderhorse]

DD is 9 and has been walking from school to a car park just off the grounds (not the official school car park but closer). She's been really wanting to walk home but we compromised at this for now and would work up to that gradually. I signed a consent form to permit them to release her.

So this morning the school sent a letter out saying that they've had a rethink to all parents, and from Monday only Year 6 children are to be allowed to leave the classroom without a parent.

DD is Year 4 but the oldest in her class, meaning we won't be allowed to start this again for 17 months. AIBU to ask the head to reconsider? I know they can't really refuse to let her out, but I don't want to be a dick. I just feel like DD is being held back for no good reason at all. We have this covered and didn't need the school to intervene.

IABU, school know best.
IANBU it's up to the parent to judge what's safe for the child.

The car park we meet her in has a path right to it, and around it, she doesn't need to be in a road, and we park so we can see her. Honestly it's safe. It's really safe.

She can just learn when she's in year 6 it's not a big issue.

I'd ask the school the reason for their change in policy, and if the reason isn't a good one to change what you are doing, then calmly and politely tell them that you have made a parenting decision that you feel is safe and appropriate, and unless they feel it is a big enough safeguarding risk to involve SS, they need to release your DD at home time.

They have the upper hand here as they can refuse to release her unless there's an adult to collect. Is it a fight you can be bothered to have?

Drop her off a short distance from school in the mornings and build that up.

By refusing to let the child leave until they are collected. Whether or not you agree with the age they have set they have to draw the line somewhere. It's the same as how they wouldn't let a year 1 child leave alone.
10+ seems sensible, and year 6 ensures they are all 10. Under 10 shouldn't really be home alone anyway and aren't necessarily sensible enough to cross roads safely or deal with situations like falling and hurting themselves alone.

This is why so many children now suffer from anxiety. Because we are teaching them that the world is so dangerous that they can't even walk 50 ft unsupervised.

That didn't take long for this type of comment to come along. 😂

I suppose though if something happens they will be the ones to face the consequences. I am wondering if some children have been approached by some men or something.

For the school to do a blunt quick change from Y4 homewalking to Y6 only homewalking, I'd say something has happened to spark the quick policy change.

Maybe they've had word that certain Y4/5students are going home to an empty house for hours. Maybe there's been reports of them messing about on road crossings. Maybe gov has issued a notice to schools saying what age they are allowed to let this happen. We don't know the specifics.

I don't think you'll get anywhere asking for them to bend their new rules just for you.

The school changing their policy would ring alarm bells with me.
Why the change ?
Is there something going on behind the scenes that has worried the school ?
Have the police warned them of something ?
A flasher ?**
A specific threat ?

And they're still letting the year 6s walk on their own?

Is it the car park that's an issue? I wouldn't let my DS age 9 walk into a car park on his own, he'd be wandering about aimlessly looking for me and not paying attention to other drivers.

At DS school DC are allowed to leave the school grounds from Year 4 which is age 8+ but one exit is into a park and the other has a zebra crossing and a lollipop man.

Why the rush for independence at age 9? My DS would get a flat no and that would be the end of it.

Is there a reason you can't park and walk the 50ft to the school gate? One of those practical situations where you have a complete production of needing to unload a baby and younger siblings who finished earlier?

Schools usually make these sort of changes after an incident. Your child may be fine and sensible enough to return to school if there's no sign of you, but I'm guessing someone else's wasn't. It's a pain in the rear and you can put your foot down and insist but I'd be nervous if she was then the only child going to the carpark solo on a daily basis but I've been watching too many online clips of Special Victims Unit.

To be fair, this really doesn't sound like a rush to independence. It sounds like the opposite actually. A very very short walk to introduce a tiny amount of independence.

Going from nothing to walking all the way home by yourself in year 6 is more of a leap in independence.

Only year 5&6 can walk home by themselves at my dc’s school.

I suggest OP tries that and doesn’t come to the school one day to collect but sits in car park. Teachers won’t be impressed they have to look after her and SS will just laugh at the school.
As for not letting them walk home without a mobile - jeez, what kid is going to have time to ring their parent if they’re being kidnapped (a very rare event) and they are more likely to be run over by looking at their phone and not concentrating on the traffic!

I have signed it off, it would be on me.

I’d just drop them a line saying your child will be leaving herself as usual. 9 is too old to need to be collected

Still doesn't make it any less scary for a child being approached, just because their parent signed it off.

The fact that this is a change in policy usually indicates there has been an incident of some sort - stranger reported approaching children/ near miss or accident involving a child and vehicle in close proximity to the school/ non resident parent intercepting and collecting a child between school and home without other parents knowledge ect. I would go into the school to discuss and see what they say about your situation.

The school get to decide what age they allow students to leave without a parent. They used to say Y4. Now they say Y6. That's it.

Surely the Y6 pupils would also need to be collected if that were the case.

Maybe go in and ask what their reasons are.
I doubt they will change their policy for one child though incase it opens the floodgates for others.

They can’t, but most parents don’t want the aggro. See also ‘you can’t leave the post natal ward if your baby isn’t in a car seat.’

I think walking to the car park nearby is preliminary to her walking a bit further on her own. Rather than going from being collected by car at the school gate to walking the way home alone.

I don't think it's that simple. I suspect that the school have been tipped off about something or someone which/who might pose a risk to your child (children), but aren't allowed to tell you what's going on. If you have signed it off, based on inaccurate knowledge, and the school have accurate knowledge that they are not allowed to tell you, they could still be in trouble for not keeping your child safe.