DD no longer allowed to walk from school.

[TheWonderhorse]

DD is 9 and has been walking from school to a car park just off the grounds (not the official school car park but closer). She's been really wanting to walk home but we compromised at this for now and would work up to that gradually. I signed a consent form to permit them to release her.

So this morning the school sent a letter out saying that they've had a rethink to all parents, and from Monday only Year 6 children are to be allowed to leave the classroom without a parent.

DD is Year 4 but the oldest in her class, meaning we won't be allowed to start this again for 17 months. AIBU to ask the head to reconsider? I know they can't really refuse to let her out, but I don't want to be a dick. I just feel like DD is being held back for no good reason at all. We have this covered and didn't need the school to intervene.

IABU, school know best.
IANBU it's up to the parent to judge what's safe for the child.

Well now she's had a go at that. So she will be fine come Y6 when she home walks.

I highly doubt they’d still allow the y6s (10-11) to still leave alone if there was any immediate risk to 9-10 year olds identified.

I think they would probably be happier knowing she was walking home and had a key as at least then if something happens to you eg car breaks down she is still able to get home and get inside into a safe warm space with access to food/drink and probably means to contact help.
Walking to a carpark is actually probably less safe, what if she ends up hanging around on her own in the carpark waiting for you 1hr plus while you are stuck in a traffic jam or something.

Why can’t you just walk the 50ft?
She’s only eight, is it really too onerous for you?

do they really need to be collected from the classroom. From y3 ours get collected at the school gate but this isn’t policed at all- parents park their cars (or hover if on foot) some distance away and the kids come and find them. Our house is actually closer than many of the loitering parents so although officially they are not supposed to walk home alone before the summer term of y5, our son has done so since y4.

again, I’d try and find out what the specific concern is.

Ours will not release a child from the line until they see their parent, we queue by their individual classroom door onto the playground, Which does make for a bit of a wait at the start of term until the teacher recognises the parent in the line, and calls 4-5 children at a time.

I lead Rainbows and Brownies, and we have same rule, we will not let a child go until we see their parent. Some moan, they are free to leave the group!

My first thought is something has happened or nearly happened and that's why school have changed their mind.
Might not be anything major but enough to worry them.
You can ask again but they'll probably refuse as if they make an exception for one they'll be other parents moaning that they also want their child to leave on their own. Before you know it the teacher is trying to remember who has to wait and who can leave, easier to have one rule for all.

I'm guessing that none of you who've answered YANBU live in London. It's an absolute fucking hell hole here. I just heard about a pair of 10 year olds who were mugged locally by a gang of teenagers who forced them to strip down to their underwear because they didn't believe the kids when they said they didn't have mobile phones with them.

Make it clear to the school that DD will be walking too and from school. Ignore their policy and instruct DD to come home and to ignore any advice. Schools shouldn't be able to impose this nonsense on parents. You are the legally responsible person.

Something must have happened to make them change the rule have they told you what?

It's 2 year groups different, which could be up to 3 actual years, the youngest child in year 4 could be 3 years younger than the oldest in year 6. There is alot which changes in 2-3 years in their ability to risk assess

My daughter in year 4, would probably trust to walk 50m,although we have some truly stupid parents who park very dangerously rather than walking an extra 5 mins, which definitely makes it more risky - I trust her but I dont trust them. But there are others in her year, who no way would be safe to do this.

I personally enjoy doing the pick ups, they are only young for a short time, and the push to grow up too quick can be too strong at times.

But I can understand that OP is confused why this has changed. Ideally the school would have explained the change, but to do so may involve sharing information specific to 1 or 2 children, which would be unfair. I would have a polite discussion with school to ask if they are able to share their reasoning, to help you explain to your daughter the need for the change.

The car park is at school, she's very able to go back into school and wait if there's a problem.

I just meant it’s unlikely to be a change made due to some identified but undisclosed risk to the children, if the rule doesn’t apply to all of the children. Yes it could be a risk to particular children in years 4 and 5 and they’re being discreet, I guess, but honesty I expect it’s just a general safeguarding policy change in line with other schools/academy, new guidance or something.

I agree I really like school pick up and I’ll miss it when mine are in secondary school to be honest.

At the end of the day the school is just being more careful with the children’s safety so it’s hard to complain.

My DD really wants to walk all the way home, only a five minute trip, I am working towards that. She's 9.

It's not that I can't be bothered, I'm a PTA Secretary, I bother a lot.

Talk with the school, there may have been something happen that could not be disclosed in what is a general letter.

If it's only 50ft from the gate, can you not get out and get her? Is this really a hill your willing to die on?

Just get your butt out of the car and go collect her.
I'm all for independence and treating children as individuals, but also for toeing the line, not making everything a challenge or something to rail about, and rules applying to everyone in a group.

Haven't you got enough to fill your day? Cos I'm pretty sure the school/teachers/head have. They shouldn't have to endless deal with parents who 'know better' about every sodding thing.

Do you think the issue is that it gets complicated with different rules for different kids, so they've simplified it. Year 6 kids don't need dismissing to a parent, everyone else does. That leaves less scope for the school.to make a mistake. Maybe a mistake was even made and this the response- they won't tell you that Mrs X the supply teacher let Jimmy walk home by himself when she wasn't supposed to.

They have a duty of care. They've heard of the techniques of UK-wide rape gangs and are insisting on taking reasonable precautions.

Do you think you are above the rules?

I do. I am.

It doesn't have to be this particular thing, but given that it's dark by tea time and she's enjoying it I just didn't want to give it up.

OP: AIBU?

EVERYONE: YES

OP: I WANT TO DO IT ANYWAY SO NO POINT IN ASKING AIBU.

Imposing a blanket ban and exceptions or a secret incident or some kind of risk are no way to run a school. That's the way to get accusations of unfair treatment and favouritism. The easiest way is for every child to have a regular home routine and if there is a difference eg unauthorised adult at pick up, child that usually walks home is collected then the parents MUST notify the school office. No way should 9 year olds be required to be collected from school, unless that school is on a motorway?

Wow, how times have changed! From school year 3 the doors were opened and ciao arrivederci! Some kids walked home, others met parents in the playground. The site was huge, I’d walk over to the infants to meet a parent.
There was zero control over it.