The think that if you are a patient in hospital, that it is the height of rudeness and intrusiveness to attampt to chit chat with your roommates

[user1471516498]

I have a long standing medical condition that means I have to spend quite a bit of time in hospital. Privacy on NHS wards is pretty minimal, so I have always thought that it was polite to keep your curtains closed if possible, and if they have to be open, then you put headphones in, avoid eye contact and generally avoid inflicting yourself on others. And certainly you don't make small talk with complete strangers.
I am not being unfriendly here, I am just treating other people how I would want to be treated. The last thing I want when I am feeling ill is to have to talk to people who I have nothing in common with other than being in the same room.
In all of my many hospital stays, I have never been rude enough to intrude on others, but the two women in my bay are just being insufferable! Is it just me, or is this just downright rude?

I have had quite a few hospital admissions, some planned and some emergency including two for incomplete miscarriages with complications that both needed surgery. I found it comforting to speak to other women and received great kindness from my fellow patients. I did not impose on them nor they on me, we were all having a tough time for various reasons and it helped to have a bit of company.

People are peopling in your vicinity? How dare they.

I was in hospital 4 times in 2020 during Covid.

Due to no visitors allowed to the 4 bed unit, it was lovely to have people to chat to, one of the nurses even commented how nice it was to hear patients chatting and laughing together when she came in.

I was shit scared when I first had to go in but the other patients certainly made it a less stressful and frightening experience for me thanks to their friendliness.

I disagree. Bonding with your bay mates is one way to make it more bearable, as well as appreciating when anyone wants to be quiet. I've been in several times when no-one else spoke English, it was very disheartening.

As really introverted person I can say I had a lot of fun chatting in ICU.
It took my mind from the drama but every time they saw my tired face they would just do checks and go away with "sorry for disturbing".
Banter was out of this world as I was quick recovery so they saw progress within a shift. It is hard when nurse tells you it is not always she will see the same people in two shifts and that she was rooting for you.

Examples
Medical help staff [uncovering me to wash with catather, drain and all]:Oh you look quite thin, I would need to diet for few years!
Me: You just need to lose like three liters of blood per hour!

Medical help staff [getting me into a lift to another part of hospital where you pass main entrance, me rolling in that open bum thing dress]: So you got dreadlocks like a black woman?
(She was black, I am pale as moon)
Me: Um, no, this is just blood. I am not sure how to sort it once I am home.
Her: Some brand of detangler and do few washes.
Tbh it worked.

Nurse in ICU [to doctor]: she refused to eat.
Doc: smart girl, you do not want to shit in bed in her state.
Me [grin and thumbs up] bcs I am to druged to speak.
Doc [waves]: Hope you do not need me this evening...

Another doc at ICU: Are you really "just uncomfortable"?
Me: Yes, but I really need you to top me up now so I can stay this way.
Nurse: So another 1000 paracetamol.
Me: I had better drugs at home.
Doc: I can put you to sleap but we are offering you regular after birth painkillers.
Me: ok, but ibuprofen please?
Nurse: we do not do that here, do you have some?
Me [shrugs as I came in asleep naked, with my stuff in another part of hospital]
Nurse: ok, so here is this paracetamol.

Me [to nurse]: What are you writing, how is it?
Nurse: oh, it looks really good. No ned to worry.
Me: Are you for real orI need to put GDPR request to see if this is real?
Nurse: Oh I knew you were ok, but not this ok!

Nurse: we need to move you to maternity ward.
Me [happy]: great!
Nurse: Not really, we hoped to keep you here for few days, not hours.
Me: Yeah, I am just happy to be good enough to go.
Nurse: I would not say that but we have one bed you are in and cardiac arrest and cancer crash competing for it.
Me: Glad I am first to go. Hope you sort both.
Next morning that nurse came to me to maternity [checking everything available including these oldschool trics of nail press]: Just wanted to see how you are.
Me: Ok, pissed I am still waiting for my baby as I have not seen her since theatre(brought like 10min later).
Her: Fighter. Do not give them too hard time for this delay.
Me: oh never!
Nurse: Oh you... but thanks for being normal yesterday.

I could go on and on.

I agree with you @user1471516498 .

Oh my. I'm very much more introverted than extroverted but would much rather have open curtains and a few pleasant chit chats with my fellow patients than be feeling all claustrophobic behind closed curtains.
No need for extended chats but a pleasant 'how do you do' and a mutual moan about the food is actually rather nice and takes one's mind away temporarily from the misery of being in hospital.
It's perfectly ok to don headphones or an eye mask etc if you'd prefer to rest but no, I don't think it's rude of fellow patients to strike up a little conversation (unless they're plopping themselves in your bedside chair and staying there for excessive amounts of time).

Perhaps you could pay for private healthcare and get your own private room, if you don’t wish to speak to other people on a ward?

No most people like to chat

Actually agree with @user1471516498
Hospital is noisy,busy,hectic. It’s not a social centre you’re not compelled to make small talk or socialise with strangers when your health is compromised and you’re away from home

my husband was in for major surgery and said he liked the camaraderie and occasional chit chat on the ward.

They weren’t allowed to close curtains as nurses wanted to be able to see when someone goes downhill

I had only one with my baby when she was 2 months old. Opposite us was a young couple with a toddler. She started talking to me and I engaged with her. It was worth it

OP I'm sorry you're unwell and hope you're feeling better soon.

I would probably want to chat, but can see that lots of people wouldn't.

It behoves us all in an environment like a hospital ward to be especially vigilant to cues about what people want and to not impose ourselves on others. I'm sorry your ward companions (just one?) were poor at this. I think being very blunt and clear about what you want them to do (stop talking to you) is the most effective way to handle someone who seems unable to go from the idea that you don't want to talk (whether hinted at or stated outright) to the idea that they shouldn't talk to you.

When your health is compromised and your in a hospital your not compelled to be sociable
If some of you find you can be sociable and engage that’s super however it isn’t mandatory and some people, are simple not comfortable with what is essentially forced chit chat with strangers. Nothing in common other than you’re all inpatient

I didn’t chatty chat on mat ward just because there were other mums and we had that in common. I popped on head phones and read my kindle. I had no desire to have forced engagement simply because we were in proximity to each other

that bit of info is important OP. If you feel nauseous then people should give you some rest.

Hope you get well soon OP

If my response to all this 'friendly chat' is that I clearly don't want to involve myself then it's rude to continue to try and force your company onto a stranger who may be feeling anxious but doesn't want to engage.
The OP is having other people's rules forced on her.

That was clear to me too.

I remember being the only young woman on a ward, I was 30 and all the other women were retired but most were around 75 plus. I was one of the few allowed out of bed and I loved chatting to them, they would call me over and make a fuss of me. It made it bearable. I’m almost 60 now so I doubt any are still alive, they were very sweet. I was engaged and they loved hearing about all my wedding plans, I was being investigated for something that could have meant I wasn’t going to make my own wedding, turned out thankfully it was something else.

I wouldn't chat early or late or when curtains are closed.

Being in hospital is a scary experience for many , and actually ime human contact helps
ive met and shared back and forth with others, in hospital and it totally helped normalise what isn’t normal tbh
sorry u find it hard , but people tend to chatter more when frightened and out of their comfort zone , try to be understanding at the same time just explain your need for you time .

The last time I was in hospital there were four of us on the ward across two days and it was a nice balance of chat and silence. I value quiet and privacy but it was nice to break up the time by chatting a little.
As another poster said, we helped each other out and between us were able to provide one - who had nobody to visit and was clearly lonely, vulnerable and hadn't expected to stay in - with toiletries and something to read, as well as a spare nightshirt. It all felt a bit 'Dunkirk spirit' and definitely helped make a hospital stay less dull.

It's boring in hospital, normal.people want to.chat. if you ate anti-docial, earplugs, eye mask or sign yourself out I'd you hate other humans so much

YANBU. I occasionally get rushed in if DH can’t manage my seizures. Probably happens once every 3 years or so. One time this woman wouldn’t stop trying to talk to me and it was awful. I had an agonising headache and, tbh, I was talking gibberish anyway after 7 seizures. I had to press the call button in the end to ask the nurse to shut my curtain so I could try and sleep.

So you starve?

Personally I don’t like to strike up a convo with strangers, but if they start talking to me I’ll engage. I seem to always attract the chatty types 😂

You are being rude and unfriendly. And how do you know you have nothing in common with people you won't even talk to?