The think that if you are a patient in hospital, that it is the height of rudeness and intrusiveness to attampt to chit chat with your roommates

[user1471516498]

I have a long standing medical condition that means I have to spend quite a bit of time in hospital. Privacy on NHS wards is pretty minimal, so I have always thought that it was polite to keep your curtains closed if possible, and if they have to be open, then you put headphones in, avoid eye contact and generally avoid inflicting yourself on others. And certainly you don't make small talk with complete strangers.
I am not being unfriendly here, I am just treating other people how I would want to be treated. The last thing I want when I am feeling ill is to have to talk to people who I have nothing in common with other than being in the same room.
In all of my many hospital stays, I have never been rude enough to intrude on others, but the two women in my bay are just being insufferable! Is it just me, or is this just downright rude?

for you to say “someone tried to small talk to me I would make it VERY clear that I am not the person they are hoping for” comes across as you being plain rude and quite nasty. It implies you would be rude, snappy and overall unpleasant tbh.

@HolyPeaches no I wouldn't be rude, I'd clam up and avoid eye contact so as not to encourage it. I wouldn't say anything deliberately rude.

And the eating thing is my issue. On the day I also couldn't get out of bed, I just didn't eat at all. I wouldn't have been able to stand it. Private hospital or NHS I'd feel the same way.

I haven't been in hospital much and it was well before the days of universal smartphones so it was bloody boring and the only interesting thing was finding out what everyone else was in for.

@supercalafrog i wouldn't dream of being rude to staff. I just wouldn't encourage chatting! Hence making myself as easy to deal with as possible. Of course I'd smile and say please and thank you etc. I just wouldn't prolong a conversation.

This. You just need to read the room. It’s usually pretty clear if someone wants to chat or not. YABU to think that everyone wants to ignore each other. Some people like a bit of company

Oh so it wasn't about eating in the bed then ... Why did you say that?

I would consider you "rude" if you were openly hostile to those who were behaving as the default human setting, ie communicating with those around them when they are in a confined space for an extended period of time.

Obviously there are those who don't want to do this, which is perfectly fine, but they should try and convey this message without animosity.

That’s incredibly rude. I though the ‘rule’ was to pretend those curtains are lead lined and sound proof and you definitely didn’t hear any of the private conversations held within.

My son is finally home after a very long 10 months in hospital where I lived with him. What an incredibly lonely 10 months it would've been if I didn't talk to anyone.

Thankfully, the other parents were more than happy to chat.

I can’t be bothered talking to people in that sort of setting either. I struggle with small talk in general to be honest. My default is a personal space comprised of flashing neon fuck off vibes. But I don’t expect everyone else to be like me and acknowledge that I might be a bit of an oddball in not wanting to chat. I’m very polite when someone does try to chat though, to the point of sometimes finding myself on the receiving end of their thrilling life story.

I’d think it was weird not to exchange two words with someone I was sleeping in the same room as! As long as they seemed well enough a “good morning” would seem normal and polite and from that you’d get the vibe as to whether they wanted to chat more

I think it’s rude to keep curtains shut and nurses usually encourage to keep them open

I will respond if asked something and offer a sympathetic smile , offer to get stuff from shop if I’m going but apart from that no chat. I learnt early on the first questions are usually do I have an family ie children and when I say no that kills the conversation lol

You are a bit weird to be honest. People in hospital will chat to their ward mates. My mum was in hospital for 2 weeks and everyone chatted, shared biscuits and sweets and magazines. Hospitals are boring and it helped the day go in.

I’ve been in hospital quite a bit And talking to others really helped pass the time. Hospital can be boring and lonely so it’s nice for a bit of chit chat. Curtains closed I wouldn’t expect anyone to open them to chat. I often liked my curtains open though. Last time I was in I was there for 3.5 weeks recovering from surgery and in my own room. It was so lonely and depressing.
everyone’s different though.
if you don’t want to talk draw your curtains

So you starve in hospital then!!!

Hope your son is on the road to recovery, and you can get on with life. You must be so happy to have him home x

Fuck that haha after I've pushed a small human out my vagina I'm stuffing my face for the next 24 hours don't care if I'm in a bed 😂

You don't have to if you don't feel like it, OP.

She's not being rude to start a conversation with you, but you're also not rude to not feel like it at the moment. Just tell her.

You decline all offers of food and barely speak to the nurses?? Crikey

Fair enough. Not sure why you didn’t explain your reasoning in your first post instead of coming across extremely disrespectful.

Hopefully you’ll never need to experience being poorly again, but if you do I hope you get help for your anxieties with speaking to strangers and having to deal with trays of food being delivered.

My dad took it to a whole new level. He didn’t speak to anyone when he was in hospital - dozens of times over the years due to a life changing injury. In fact he didn’t even speak to Mum and me when we went to visit, except to say that we should ‘have a break’ and not come in for a couple of days🤣🤣 He was a good person. He just couldn’t be arsed with unnecessary chit chat.

I was in hospital for 12 weeks a few years ago and shared a 6 bed
Bay - it was very stressful at times, not least the lack of privacy. I don't think it's the height or intrusion to make chit chat! Could you imagine the atmosphere if nobody spoke at all!! However. When I was feeling particularly rough or uncommunicative I used the curtains which sends a sign to others!

One of the things that was so horrible about being on a ward was the total lack of privacy - curtains are not soundproof sadly. I feel for anyone staying in hospital as there are times when you just need to be left alone, and it's virtually impossible!!

I don't think they are being rude by wanting to chat, no. I guess if you are sitting there avoiding eye contact and with headphones in, you are giving out a signal that should be respected, but aside from that I would have thought some conversation is quite normal, if other patients seem in a position to talk . Maybe depends on the ward.

I dont think small talk is the height of rudeness. I dont think its rude at all.
Lots of people like to chat to other people.
If you personally dont like it, thats ok.
I guess if youve made it clear you dont want to chat, and people keep on, that's annoying.

Gently, this sounds like an eating disorder to me (not being able to stand being seen while eating, choosing to eat standing up rather than sitting or lying down when ill, refusing food you haven’t provided and strictly controlled yourself, finding the smell of food ‘disgusting’).

Thrilled! I'll never take normal day to day life for granted again. I've missed it so very much.

Thanks.