The think that if you are a patient in hospital, that it is the height of rudeness and intrusiveness to attampt to chit chat with your roommates

[user1471516498]

I have a long standing medical condition that means I have to spend quite a bit of time in hospital. Privacy on NHS wards is pretty minimal, so I have always thought that it was polite to keep your curtains closed if possible, and if they have to be open, then you put headphones in, avoid eye contact and generally avoid inflicting yourself on others. And certainly you don't make small talk with complete strangers.
I am not being unfriendly here, I am just treating other people how I would want to be treated. The last thing I want when I am feeling ill is to have to talk to people who I have nothing in common with other than being in the same room.
In all of my many hospital stays, I have never been rude enough to intrude on others, but the two women in my bay are just being insufferable! Is it just me, or is this just downright rude?

OP here. Apologies for disappearing, I got taken for a test. I should have added that I had said to the woman opposite that I was feeling hideously nauseous and couldn't talk because it was taking all of my concentration not to throw up, but she kept asking questions. I take on board what you have said though. Once I am feeling slightly more human I will try and talk to her a bit.

I'm not a sentimental person, but that's really heartwarming and I bet you're absolutely right about the healing power of friendship. I hope you made a full recovery.

You sound an absolute delight. Your poor wardmates.

Of course they arent being rude, they are being normal human beings. Conversation on a ward is the norm. Wanying to isolate yourself behind a curtained partition all day is not.

I was admitted to hospital for 3 nights back in the summer.

One day I felt absolutely awful, kept throwing up and sweating profusely due to side affects of morphine. So kept my curtains closed.

The other days I started to perk up, and once visiting hours had finished me and the other patients in the bay who had our curtains opened chatted for ages (thank god it was a women’s only ward). We shared snacks and biscuits and got to know each other.

We are in Yorkshire though, so it’s the norm here to strike up conversations with complete strangers.

The day I kept my curtains closed was awful. I felt incredibly claustrophobic and the time dragged. An hour felt like 10.

YANBU to want peace and privacy when in hospital OP, but please do not be judgemental and rude about the other people who simply have a chat with others. Being in hospital can be upsetting, lonely and traumatic for some people, let’s not shame them for wanting a bit of normality and comfort eh?

Op your update bears no resemblance to your original post.

If it wasn't for the other patients I think I would have gone totally do-lally with my own company.

The snoring didn't really help though 😀

Some people love chatting and finding out about others. To have your curtains closed and NOT talk to others would be incredibly rude!

I hope you feel better soon OP 🤞

Ahhh, poor OP! I see - it's absolutely understandable you don't want chit-chat when feeling nauseous. I really hope you feel better soon.

@niadainud I completely agree. I was having to bite my tongue.

I was admitted to hospital August 2016 after a near complete attempt on my life, spent 4 nights on a ward next to a woman who had sickle cell, we were both in extreme pain and I held her hand overnight as she writhed in pain. The next morning she felt a bit better, told me she noticed the wounds on my wrists and the look in my eye and that we got each other through that terrible night. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was supposed to live to help her. Never forgotten her and never did anything like that again.

Total guess but was it Rylan's mum?!!

There's no way I could not have sat there chatting with her if it was her! She's utterly fab!

How times have changed.

Now seen as rude to talk!

I agree, I wouldn't call it rude, but I wouldn't want to be fending off chatty people when unwell! Thankfully I've only ever been in the postnatal ward for any length of time, but each time the other women (only 4 of us in total) kept to themselves and no-one so much as made eye contact if curtains weren't already drawn.
My mum recently had to stay in a ward for a few nights and she said the worst thing about it wasn't her ailment, but being on a ward with other people and the noise and sometimes unwanted chit chat that came with it.
A new hospital was built near us a few years ago and another is currently being built. Both made a big point of publicising that they would have private rooms, not wards, and got a huge amount lot of positive feedback, so I don't think you're anywhere near alone in how you feel, OP!

I echo everything everyone else has said ...chatting in hospital goes a long way to making it more pleasant for a lot of people.

However, there are cues to let people know you'd rather stay quiet, without keeping your curtains drawn all the time, and if the lady near you keeps asking regardless she is just the type to not get the cues or is anxious.

You may have to spell it out to her "So sorry, I'm not really a talkative type. Hopefully someone more chatty comes along for you soon!"

Re curtains maybe just keep them slightly pulled so you have privacy at your head end from your left /right neighbours, but other people can still see down the ward.

Hope your procedures and recovery go well!

Oh my goodness Children's Ward was brilliant!

Poor you. No one’s at their best in hospital. I hope you feel better soon.

I was in hospital for 2 weeks during lockdown. No visitors allowed.

I was grateful for the conversations I had with my fellow patients.

No one was over intrusive but it was really supportive to have the conversations of those of us staying for more than a couple of days.

It was quite difficult without any family visits.

Wow. What an absolutely awful and derogatory post. You should be totally ashamed of yourself.

Some of us plebs don’t have the luxury of affording private healthcare so have no choice but to be admitted to the NHS where the only option is to eat the hospital food in our inpatient beds.

And by the way, if someone was to go wrong in your nice little private hospital and you were deemed an emergency you will be blue lighted to the nearest NHS trauma centre, as private hospitals aren’t equipped to deal with emergencies.

Obviously I hope that never happens to you, but on the off chance it does, please prepare yourself. (You might need therapy afterwards being surrounded by us poor lower class citizens eating in our beds).

Oh, and get some empathy. You horrible, horrible person.

I have stayed in hospital twice and my dh had a long stay on many different wards after a brain haemorrhage. I have never known a silent ward with no one talking to each other.
People chat, I don’t see a problem with this and in fact nurses like the curtains open so they can keep an eye on you.
If you want your curtains closed all the time get a corner bed so others can have a chat ( remember if you’re in a serious condition nurses won’t allow it ) and not have their view blocked by your curtain. If you don’t want to talk to others use earplugs.

Each to their own

Eh??? You don't eat or drink at all if you're bed bound?

Correct! She is amazing, such fun!

I think if you have your curtains pulled or if you are reading or if you have your eyes shut you shouldn't be disturbed. It's a bit miserable to say that you never want to speak to anybody though. I'm in the north west, though and we talk to everybody all the time!

It goes without saying that anyone who listens to music or is on the phone using speakers should be shot at dawn!

@HolyPeaches did you read the bit where I said I was lucky? And I realise that it is not the norm to be in a private room of course I do. And yes of course if it wasn't a planned gyane procedure or a cancerous lump removal, I might have been an emergency admission to my local NHS hospital which I would also be very grateful for.

And the bit about eating was in reference to all hospitals, they don't have a dining room for private patients 😁

Did you read my other posts about taking on board comments and not having thought about it like that? And my coping strategy in hospital?

But it remains that I would be one of the people who would not want to chat. End of story. I chat professionally, I chat to friends. I don't chat to strangers when I am feeling vulnerable.

My dad was recently in hospital for 3 months and everyone in his bay chatted to one another. I chatted to the chap in the bed either side of him too, and took them food when I took food in for my dad.

I'm an introverted person with ASD and even I think you'd go mental just not speaking to people for prolonged periods of time.