To think your 30s are the most knackering decade?

[TheyNicknamedHerTheBolter]

I'm 37 so am very happy to be told I'm wrong and that actually it gets worse.

I've just been chatting to a colleague who is 22 and lives at home. She went abroad with her friend for Xmas and told me how desperate she had been to get away and that the break or sleeping in, eating and drinking all day and resting on the beach did her the world of good. Now; that's lovely and I'm genuinely glad she enjoyed it but it did make me smile when she suggested I did the same next year.
My break would include taking 3 DC (one with autism) and a DH. There wouldn't be much sleeping on the beach.

Now I'm thinking about the juggling act of this life phase, kids, houses to run, full time employment, the mental load etc etc etc. I'm KNACKERED all of the time.

I know as my kids grow up (currently 4, 9 and 14) it may get even harder, but I do hope as I get older I can work a little less and have a bit more me time, until the needs of caring for parents kicks in, at least?

So please tell me, wise mumsnetters, is this the hardest slog or does it get more exhausting? Which decade have you found the hardest?

I'll brace with you...

I think this is exactly what I need to do. I’m inspired!

Surely any adult age is knackering compared to being 22, living with parents and childless?

Definitely this. Since having my youngest daughter in 2020, perimenopause started. Combined with having suffering from my chronic medication induced neurological movement disorder for a decade, along with all the things that come with three kids, it's getting harder each year.

My 30s were in comparison, easier. My 20s were the best. I think most probably don't realise how tiring it is getting to middle age and beyond, and youth is most DEFINITELY wasted on the young!

Not for me. But it depends what age you have children. I was a teenage parent, so my 30s so far have been far more relaxing than my 20s. DS almost an adult so I can pretty much do what I like now as long as I'm on hand to give him spending money and food. 🤣

You're making a massive assumption that everyone has kids at that age. I spent my whole 30's childfree and I was only ever knackered from staying up all night clubbing or having fun. Having young DC in my 40's is pretty knackering, and I'm guessing more so than it would have been in my 30's.

Yes. My 30s were harder. Small child, relationship breakdown and homelessness made life difficult.

I'm now 43 - single, more settled, largely independent teenager and better income - things are miles better. Even with some health issues, I'm enjoying my 40s.

Wait until menopause kicks in. 43 next week and I'm exhausted

30’s are an absolute breeze.
It definitely gets harder .

Perimenopause hit me like a bus. Obviously, everyone is different and you will most likely be fine, but don't underestimate the impact of loss of oestrogen etc. It really makes you realise just how vital hormones are to vitality 😬

Agree that it's hard and tiring with pre schoolers! Gets easier for a bit but from mid 40s on you'll probably feel more tired in general.

I have a teen and a tween, both ND. I'm in my 40s, have adhd which increasingly feels harder to manage and a physical health condition and s single parent.

I'm broken!! Altho tbf I don't always feel that way.

50s. Teenage children, elderly parents hundreds of miles away, and your own concerns about health/career etc. At least the bloody mortgage is paid off but everything else is bloody knackering.

I don't think age factors in as much as whether you have kids or not. I don't have kids, I am 42 and feel pretty much the same as I did in my twenties.

It gets worse. I'm mid 40s with a 17 and a 24 year old at home and I'm fucked all the time. For no reason. Sorry

Wait a decade and see if you agree. Even without kids I’m fucking done. My mother has dementia, I have just lost a friend to cancer and another one is terminally ill. My husband has pre cancerous cells appearing. I can’t sleep, the menopause is in its way, I pee every few hours whereas I used to able to last much longer.

My knees and back are killing me and those aches and pains you get in your 30’s increase with age. I hope you like ibuprofen because you will be best mates with it. I wake every day with a new pain and think ‘oh wtf now?’ I got injured putting a t shirt on, my husband got injured by sneezing. This morning I had an excruciating pain in the side of my chest that I think I’ll need to see the Dr about as it’s not the first time and mostly you are just done with everyone’s shit!

I’m 45 and would love to be 37 again! I saw myself on the teams camera earlier and even though I’ve added a soft filter I just look terrible.

This week, specifically, has been my most knackering decade.

I’m in my 50s.

If you’d asked me before Christmas I’d have said 50s is a breeze but I’ve had a month of working full time, looking after teens and parents who are in ill health as well as grown up kids with their troubles and grandchildren. Cleaning my house and acting as a the host throughout Christmas then cleaning DDs house too.

But the breaking point has been this fucking snow and taxiing everyone to work.

So yes. This. Fucking. Week.

(but once the snow thaws and I can run and get fresh air I’ll be fine 😉)

I thought that…then I turned 40.

Yep, enjoy the 30s decade. Perimenopause with sore gums, sore feet, worsening period pains and migraines, aches all over, and lots more pressure from kids and work is a bit like an avalanche but it keeps falling down....

I wasn’t going reply and discourage you but I see everyone else has already said what I was thinking.

There was a really nice phase when dc were 5-10 (shtf re autism when ds was 11 so with NT dc that phase might be a good bit longer).

I’d love to see the responses on a male forum though

I found having young kids in my 30s the hardest time yes. I found it gradually got easier the older they got. They are 17 and 20 now and yes you still worry, but I don't find it as knackering as small kids.

Hey, I'm in my forties, my kids are grown, I'm ignoring the elderly parents.

I'm enjoying life, working part time, getting out with the dogs and seeing the grandchildren but happily being able to give them back.

I’m finding 40s more tiring so far, a combination of ill ageing parents, still youngish child and more seniority at work!

Well I was going to agree, me and my friends all in 30s and have kids similar ages (my dc are 6 and 3). We frequently say yes these are the hardest years of our lives.
eek it seems not given all pp. I’ll try my best to enjoy !

I've got a younger single friend who is always suggesting I go on this cheap holiday she's found. I'm like "ok, multiply that by 5...Not so cheap, huh?"

Also my holiday time is mostly for childcare, old people emergencies and house renovations.

Sorry OP I think the 40s are tougher. In my 30s our parents didn't need help and the children were young and cute and I was in my prime and could run on less sleep.

I’m 40 and spent a large part of my 30’s caring for a grandparent until their death. It was exhausting and sad. I also had teens who were pretty good kids and a younger one.
40 now and looking after a parent has kicked in hard but there are a few of us sharing the load this time round so it’s less hard. Teens are now 20 and 19, independent, working, studying and generally good company. Youngest is a teen and really good fun.
I finally feel as though I have time for myself and I appreciate it so much.
Plus I went on holidays without my dc (and with them and dh of course!) when they were younger and continue to do so now. It’s bloody important to me to have a network of friends and a life away from my family.