To think your 30s are the most knackering decade?

[TheyNicknamedHerTheBolter]

I'm 37 so am very happy to be told I'm wrong and that actually it gets worse.

I've just been chatting to a colleague who is 22 and lives at home. She went abroad with her friend for Xmas and told me how desperate she had been to get away and that the break or sleeping in, eating and drinking all day and resting on the beach did her the world of good. Now; that's lovely and I'm genuinely glad she enjoyed it but it did make me smile when she suggested I did the same next year.
My break would include taking 3 DC (one with autism) and a DH. There wouldn't be much sleeping on the beach.

Now I'm thinking about the juggling act of this life phase, kids, houses to run, full time employment, the mental load etc etc etc. I'm KNACKERED all of the time.

I know as my kids grow up (currently 4, 9 and 14) it may get even harder, but I do hope as I get older I can work a little less and have a bit more me time, until the needs of caring for parents kicks in, at least?

So please tell me, wise mumsnetters, is this the hardest slog or does it get more exhausting? Which decade have you found the hardest?

I can only dream of how fantastic my body felt in my 30s. I’m 57.

Same. 35, childfree, travel as much as I can as I’m freelance and can work from anywhere. I’m the childfree cliche but my life is pretty much my dream life right now.

Yep, I came on to say this. Perimenopausal here. Always feeling flat and tired and achy. Teenage kids, aging and frail parents.

Having worked since before I was 18, and now in my sixties, I am well and truly knackered! In my 30s I was often also knackered, and was always busy, but in those days I could work till the early hours and be back at it, productively, by breakfast. Ie my natural youthful energy allowed me to do it. Now 1 late evening puts me out of sorts for days. Hard therefore to compare as we’re all just living in our current age and decade!

Oh god yes!!! I didn’t appreciate my own fitness and strength then. Advice to my younger self would be to keep those muscles worked on right through my forties and fifties.

40s my current decade 🤣
Perimenopause

It's before or after kids that mostly makes a decade the hardest. The one where they actually sleep, eat and generally do what you tell them is the easiest one, followed by the one where they're off to university where you're older/potentially less physical able but don't have to do the daily churn of getting them up, feeding them, cleaning up after them, stopping them tearing lumps off one another...

Other than kids, though, it's whether you've got a halfway decent spouse, as that going to shit makes whichever decade it happens in bloody awful.

I'm out the other side with both kids and shitty men (found a decent one once I had more options/freedom/money/time), so apart from feeling physically wrecked, I'm absolutely fine.

My 30s hands down have been my favourite decade. Not knackering at all. More confident, more money, amazing life experiences. I loved them!

My 40s, now my 40s are knackering!

40s much worse so far:
-Teenagers
-Working full time instead of part time (which I did for most of my 30s) because have you seen how much uni costs and we had to buy a bigger house because of the teenagers!
-Extra curricular stuff is crazy- we have at least 2 things most evenings often until 9pm and football which starts at 9am on Saturday- gone are the days when the kids were finished at 5pm then it was dinner/ bedtime and maybe a trip to the park at the weekend
-Mad elderly relatives demanding attention/ grappling with the social care system
On the plus side I am normally getting 7 hours plus of sleep at night but boy do I need it!

You are still very young!
I am nearly 47 with a 4 and 7yr old, menopausal, dad died just before Christmas after a long illness, disabled mother, stressful job with long hours, and also completed my 2nd degree a year ago with it all going on. Not that it's a competition but no, 30's definitely wasn't the most tiring for me, probably the least.

Sorry OP, 30s are a breeze in comparison to 40s.
Once perimenopause starts to set in you're fucked. Everything is knackering. I have bad and good days but I just don't have the strength, energy or patience any more and I've had to cut back what I do a lot compared to what I was able to do in my 30s.

I had my DS just before I turned 34, and am 37 now, so I would say yes, but I had some unbelievably knackering jobs combined with horrible commutes in my late 20s. Wouldn't go back!

Oh dear, you are in for a shock @TheyNicknamedHerTheBolter Wait til you're menopausal, looking after elderly parents, dealing with teens/university age children, and holding down a job. Still got a mortgage and debts probably, and are still 2 almost decades from retiring.

I found my 30s a breeze compared to my 40s! (50s have been a bit better, but only from mid 50s! I am nearly 60 now.)

.

People on here are obviously far kinder and more filial than I am. I love my parents, but they are not my responsibility. I live in a different country from them and have no plans to move back when they get old. That could be a cultural difference, or just a difference in family culture.

I’ll be the odd one out and say my 30s were more stressful than my 40s so far. Over two-thirds of the way through my 40s and no menopause symptoms yet. Since the Covid years at least it’s been great having kids a bit older, end of primary age / at secondary school. Everything is just so much simpler when you can leave them for a bit on their own!
I mean my kids were adorable when they were small, but there was always something like them not sleeping / being fussy eaters / having tantrums / nappies / potty training / feeling judged for doing everything wrong… Now they are mostly just good company. Obviously everything could still go to shit but I’m enjoying it while I can!

Yes. 100%. Because trying to get anything like that strength and fitness back in your 50s. Now that’s tiring.

My in-laws don't live in the same country as me but listening to them complain could be a full time job if I gave them unfettered access.

The other day they had a blue screen on their tv and since in five times of asking they wouldn't tell me what the words on the blue screen said I suggested they text me a picture of it.

Instead of doing that they rang me ten more times.

Then we spent an hour on FaceTime with them not showing the the screen.

Then I said there was nothing I could do until they could either tell me what the screen said or show me so I could read it for myself.

And I hung up. Whereupon they rang my husband and my children.

It's not familial feeling that motivates me.

Im 38 my son is 22 this year and i feel great.
I have no responsibility only myself loving life loving me.
I eat right work out every day meditate.
Tbh life started for me when i hit the 30.
I dont feel old i look about 28 (not first thing in the mornings though) in good shape.
I travel alot and do what i want ive educated myself on peri menopause and im okay with it.
I stay positive 90% of the time and find the funny side in a bad situation.

Yes. This sounds like another version of “childfree people don’t know what tiredness is”.

Thirties are exhausting you young kids and sleepless nights. 40's are knackering so far from perimenopause, more work, teens and parents. I know people in their 50's struggling with full time jobs and caring for elderly parents. Life is exhausting unless you are young, able to sleep for 12 hours (my dh) or free of responsibilities.

My 30s have been great so far -- I have so much more confidence (and money!) than I had in my 20s. But then, I have no kids.

Hated my 30s..... My 40s been bloody amazing and reaching the end of them. Bring on the 50s. .... I had dd at 41 and my managed the escape the rent trap which I had in my 30s...

You’ve had some harsh replies here OP so I will give some balance and say that in some ways my 30s were harder than my 40s.

Young kids and broken sleep in my 30s made everything harder. And I did it at a time in my life when I was struggling to build my career. Also I lost a parent in my 30s, so I wasn’t lucky enough that this didn’t hit until my 40s.

In my 40s, kids have been more independent and easier (even through teen years), my other parent is healthy and well at the moment and I had zero perimenopause symptoms until this year (46). Plus my career has really taken off and so I’m earning much more than in my 30s.

So the second half of my 40s may well be tougher, but the first half was better and easier than my 30s, even with the pandemic factored in.

This. With bells on. Fortunately the teens/young adults mature eventually and sadly the ageing parents aren't around for ever.