To think your 30s are the most knackering decade?

[TheyNicknamedHerTheBolter]

I'm 37 so am very happy to be told I'm wrong and that actually it gets worse.

I've just been chatting to a colleague who is 22 and lives at home. She went abroad with her friend for Xmas and told me how desperate she had been to get away and that the break or sleeping in, eating and drinking all day and resting on the beach did her the world of good. Now; that's lovely and I'm genuinely glad she enjoyed it but it did make me smile when she suggested I did the same next year.
My break would include taking 3 DC (one with autism) and a DH. There wouldn't be much sleeping on the beach.

Now I'm thinking about the juggling act of this life phase, kids, houses to run, full time employment, the mental load etc etc etc. I'm KNACKERED all of the time.

I know as my kids grow up (currently 4, 9 and 14) it may get even harder, but I do hope as I get older I can work a little less and have a bit more me time, until the needs of caring for parents kicks in, at least?

So please tell me, wise mumsnetters, is this the hardest slog or does it get more exhausting? Which decade have you found the hardest?

My 30s are a piece of cake compared to my 40s! A lot depends on what age you have kids if any. Everyone is different!!

30s?
No.
40s.

Your 60s are knackering just existing!!
For me anyway and I was raising four children, four years of them as a single mother, in my 30s.

Yep, throw in a teen with autism and mental health issues, and late 40s/early 50s is a nightmare!

They were for me. Two young DC with very little family help. Working NHS.
The DC were great as teens in the next decade, so much easier than babies and toddlers and my parents never made it to elderly.

LOLNO

Just wait until you hit perimenopause.

I'm in my mid 40s, with 3 young children (youngest is a toddler), a paralysed and dying father to help care for, and a frail and extremely elderly grandmother to help to care for.

I'm pretty tired and get a lot less rest than in my 30s. But I'm happier and I can see that my time is spent doing good things that make a big difference to people I love, so that helps.

It gets way worse

40s are easily worse

40s for me as my kids are young and I didn't have my second til 38... so it's really kicking me now. Christmas was brutal. I feel like I need a holiday to recover

Agree with PP peri is the absolute pits. And like many others, mine was perfectly timed to compete with a cognitively impaired aging parent, a terminally ill MIL, teenagers and a more than full time job.

It does get easier once you come out of the other side however and you are able to take better care of yourself.

I think it's more that your 20s are the least knackering (in most cases), I had DC at 24 and 28 and even with baby/toddler stage I would say I wasn't knackered, but I might have been if I was 10-20 years older when I had them

Elderly parents in your 70s isn't a bed of roses either. My father would probably say his 90s were the most tiring but evidence of his sleeping hours says the 100s take it out of you too.

AT any age you tend to fill your life to 110%; any extra you do in the 30s is offset by your greater strength and stamina, from then on, the absolute amount you do may decrease but your energy levels decrease even faster.

😂

Nooooooooo 😂 puts hands over ears and eyes and sings la la la

My forties has been way harder. Menopause, teens and aging parent with Alzheimer's. I'm at an all time low point.

I can see this. Teenagers are so needy and easily offended. Menopause seems to be about being sick of meeting everyone’s needs and being fully fed up with having to be nice and caring all the time.

50s perimenopause did a number on me.
Dcs leaving home aging DM and df died.
Working overtime to squirrel some money as pensions not going to be much.
Starting to look older.
Trying to hold back the yrs is exhausting.

Every decade so far has been more exhausting than the last.

I turned 50 recently - I am bracing myself

I think your 30s can be A knackering decade if you have small children then. Many don’t! Either having had them younger or later.

But in your 40s you have perimenopause, then you have actual menopause, you start to get more ailments and generally more tired as you get older etc Plus teenagers can be just as exhausting as babies in their own way.

You also might have a more senior job in your 40s or later which could be either more or less knackering depending on the job. Or you could end up having to change industries or anything.

Teens will be knackered due to hormones, in your 20s you might be burning the candle at both ends (your own choice but then so are children and careers) or that could be the decade when you have your babies.

For many people, 30s will be the best it gets!

Oh jeez. This thread is depressing.

Yours sincerely, a soon-to-be 36 year old

Depends if you have kids and what age they are. 30s were harder than 40s have been for me. I had DDs at 29 and 33.

Sorry OP, but for me its the 40's. Stroppy teen who i am dragging kicking and screaming over the GCSE revision line, Knackered, Body is fucked, Peri menopause insomnia is a killer, trying to keep career going while moving up the ladder all while being the main carer for a elderly parent who is housebound and has Alzheimer's.

I honestly look back at how knackered i was in my 30's and it feels like a cruel joke now. Moaning about making costumes for world book day, having my parents be a help to me rather than me being their carer.
How i miss soft play and lightning McQueen.

I Can't remember the last time i had time to myself, where i didn't need to put someone else's needs before mine and it is absolutely soul destroying , and add in the fear that this could be life for the foreseeable future and that by the time i am done looking after everyone else, my own best years will be behind me

Can someone explain what is so taxing about menopause? I know the basics but what is it that is the biggest issue for most?

Try being old.