AIBU? Wedding makeup artist and friend

MumofHennHals · 2025-01-08T09:16:15+00:00

I get married in August, and I've booked a hair and makeup artist to do myself ( bride ), 4 bridesmaid and mother of the bride & mother of the grooms hair and makeup. One of our guests, young female ( in 30s - not that it matters, but trying to get its not one of my mums 60 yo mates ) Messaged because she used to live in Marbella, where we are getting married and she's looking to get her makeup done. She asked who was doing mine, just out of curiosity I thought, thinking she would look for someone else. She's only gone and messaged my make up artist and asked if she can do her aswell at the venue when she's doing the bridesmaids. Sorry, AIBU or is this weird as F?! My makeup artist declined but I'm a bit miffed about it.

Bodybutterblusher · 08/01/2025 09:17

It was inappropriate but maybe she's just not aware.

Possiblypossum · 08/01/2025 09:22

😬 that's a little off
Your mua will be busy with you and your bridal party ,but on the other hand I've been at weddings and people can't see why you can just do 'one more" it's super annoying.
I've worked on bridal & beauty and often had people "expect" me to want to make them a headpiece or do their make up free. One of the last 'friends' wedding not only did I get her a better price on her dress through connections in the industry , she thought I would come to the venue five hours early to dress everyone, I was a guest not her assistant oh and fix her mother's hat with zero supplies.

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/01/2025 09:22

Surely it would make more sense for the makeup artist to be block booked and then do the makeup of everyone who wanted makeup done? Why would this be a problem? She can do the wedding party first so they can continue getting ready and then pick up any other guests.

I can’t how this is “weird as fuck.” It’s makeup. You’re hiring a makeup artist. You aren’t going to be somehow “upstaged” because you shared a makeup artist with a guest. If I were interested in professional makeup myself I’d probably have done the same as your friend, for the convenience.

Tink3rbell30 · 08/01/2025 09:24

What's the problem? If she had the space then it's no problem.

CartonofMilk · 08/01/2025 09:25

You’re being weird

Itisjustmyopinion · 08/01/2025 09:25

I honestly don’t see the issue. She asked the MUA who will be on site if she can have a slot and the MUA said no. End of story and don’t think there is anything weird about it

If they were pushy and also expected to be included in your package so they didn’t have to pay then that would be weird. If the MUA accepted and it meant less time spent on your party then that’s not on but she declined so no big deal

LittleRedRidingHoody · 08/01/2025 09:27

I think if it's a destination wedding it's a different ballgame and it's fine. She wants her makeup done for a wedding that presumably she's shelling out considerable money to be at and wants to look nice for, it's not like it's a wedding down the road and she has access to a load of makeup artists/recommendations.

PurpleDiva22 · 08/01/2025 09:27

Very strange! Surely everyone knows the bridal MUA is busy for that morning? Maybe she doesn't know the protocol but I'd find this very odd

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/01/2025 09:28

I think this is weird. She's not in the wedding party so you obviously won't want her hanging around when it's supposed to just be you and your bridesmaids and mum and MIL. Are you also planning to have the photographer there to take some pictures of you getting ready?

I would tell the MUA to tell her she can't do it but maybe she can suggest other MUAs she knows?

Edit: sorry, just seen your MUA declined. So you don't need to do anything.

DappledThings · 08/01/2025 09:30

I don't think this is odd at all. The make-up woman might have had space to squeeze her in really early or late. If she's completely booked up then she is. No harm (or weirdness) in asking.

Zae134 · 08/01/2025 09:33

I don't think this is weird, the MUA is hopefully professional enough to judge their diary- possibly this woman is seeing her for a very early or late slot. You could drop a message to your MUA and just mention that you're aware she's booking with other guests and does she have a block booked timeslot where she is just with your wedding party.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/01/2025 09:34

DappledThings · 08/01/2025 09:30

I don't think this is odd at all. The make-up woman might have had space to squeeze her in really early or late. If she's completely booked up then she is. No harm (or weirdness) in asking.

It's not about whether the MUA had space to squeeze her in or not.

When you're the bride you want the MUA to be focused on what she's doing for you and the bridal party, not squeezing in random hangers on who could easily get their makeup done somewhere else (or even, God forbid, do their own makeup since they won't be the centre of attention anyway).

nam3c4ang3 · 08/01/2025 09:35

ummm - what's weird about it? Surely as long as the makeup artist is not encroaching on your time, she is a freelance and is therefore, free to do other clients? My make up artist (and my sisters) was block booked the whole day for anyone who wanted to use her (we had church - reception - evening do) - its you who is being odd about this... what's the issue you have with it? Is it because you feel you might be upstaged or something?

purplecorkheart · 08/01/2025 09:37

I am not sure that it is that odd to be honest. The makeup artist is going to be onsiite anyway and maybe she may have been willing to come early to do your friends make-up or maybe she is bring an assistant who could have done her make-up or maybe she knew she would decline but was hoping that she could suggest someone else.

Either way your make-up artist has declined so it is not an issue. I would not give it another thought

DappledThings · 08/01/2025 09:37

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/01/2025 09:34

It's not about whether the MUA had space to squeeze her in or not.

When you're the bride you want the MUA to be focused on what she's doing for you and the bridal party, not squeezing in random hangers on who could easily get their makeup done somewhere else (or even, God forbid, do their own makeup since they won't be the centre of attention anyway).

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And if the MUA had time to fit someone else in early then still be focused on the bride and bridal party then she could have done. Friend asked, MUA said she didn't have space, no suggestion friend has kicked off about it or anything.

Weird that anyone thinks this is weird or any kind of big deal.

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 09:39

You are sending out massive bridezilla vibes!

What's the problem? If the make-up artist is professional, she has booked a slot for you, she's not on standby in front of your door from 1am? Have you booked her for the entire day to do touch-up after the ceremony, for the photos and before diner?

She could have been happy to before coming to see you, or after your appointment. She's on site anyway.

No one is taking the attention from you because they use the same make-up.

BlueMum16 · 08/01/2025 09:41

Itisjustmyopinion · 08/01/2025 09:25

I honestly don’t see the issue. She asked the MUA who will be on site if she can have a slot and the MUA said no. End of story and don’t think there is anything weird about it

If they were pushy and also expected to be included in your package so they didn’t have to pay then that would be weird. If the MUA accepted and it meant less time spent on your party then that’s not on but she declined so no big deal

Exactly.

Is the OP becoming a bridezilla?

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 09:41

DappledThings · 08/01/2025 09:37

And if the MUA had time to fit someone else in early then still be focused on the bride and bridal party then she could have done. Friend asked, MUA said she didn't have space, no suggestion friend has kicked off about it or anything.

Weird that anyone thinks this is weird or any kind of big deal.

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It could be worst, there was a thread somewhere about a bride refusing for her bridesmaid to wear make-up because she wanted all the attention on herself 😂

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/01/2025 09:43

DappledThings · 08/01/2025 09:37

And if the MUA had time to fit someone else in early then still be focused on the bride and bridal party then she could have done. Friend asked, MUA said she didn't have space, no suggestion friend has kicked off about it or anything.

Weird that anyone thinks this is weird or any kind of big deal.

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I think it's completely lacking in social awareness.

Most people would assume that the MUA is going to be busy with the bridal party, and that if the bride wanted you to be there having your makeup done in the morning with her, she would have asked you to be a bridesmaid.

As a bride, you wouldn't want your MUA rushing off to do another job after she's finished your makeup, because you don't want her to be in a hurry doing yours. And you wouldn't want her to be doing another job beforehand and risk being late for you if it takes longer than anticipated.

It sounds like the OP's MUA has already got a lot of people to style on the morning of the wedding so it makes sense that she wouldn't have time to do another job.

Waterboatlass · 08/01/2025 09:44

It's fine. She asked to find out if there was capacity with a recommended supplier, or a suggested solution, not to usurp one of your places, that's all.

I'm sure she wasn't expecting to be prioritised.

Loads of reasons this was the most sensible port of call:

Word of mouth: the MUA may have someone else working with her or a trusted friend/ colleague to recommend.

Depending on timings, she may have been able to fit her in herself, it was a simple yes or no. If was an afternoon or late morning wedding I don't think unreasonable

Recommended alternatives rather than take a risk online

It honestly wasn't 'weird as fuck'.

The point from PP about wanting the MUA's attention for the whole day because one is the bride is odd and babyish. It's business. You're either paying her for a set amount of work or time and she can pick up other clients outside that as she wishes, or you're paying for her exclusive work the whole day and the terms set that out.

PurpleDiva22 · 08/01/2025 09:45

Yes OP is a bridezilla for asking if something is weird. Mother of God this fucking site....

ChannelFiveDrama · 08/01/2025 09:45

Also if you're getting married in a place where she doesn't already know an MUA (eg abroad) it makes sense to choose someone who presumably the bride is happy with rather than risk an unknown. I do think it's a bit precious to say she's ring fenced to the bridal party. And she's travelling there rather than expecting her to fit in a visit elsewhere. I think YABU

DappledThings · 08/01/2025 09:46

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/01/2025 09:43

I think it's completely lacking in social awareness.

Most people would assume that the MUA is going to be busy with the bridal party, and that if the bride wanted you to be there having your makeup done in the morning with her, she would have asked you to be a bridesmaid.

As a bride, you wouldn't want your MUA rushing off to do another job after she's finished your makeup, because you don't want her to be in a hurry doing yours. And you wouldn't want her to be doing another job beforehand and risk being late for you if it takes longer than anticipated.

It sounds like the OP's MUA has already got a lot of people to style on the morning of the wedding so it makes sense that she wouldn't have time to do another job.

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Sounds like a load of over thinking to me. She just asked if someone was free. They weren't.

Same as if the bride had booked somewhere for brunch the morning of the wedding and someone else asked if they could book for breakfast. If the place didn't have spaces for breakfast because they were busy preparing the brunch that's fine, if they could do an earlier breakfast setting too then all good. No harm in asking.

TooManyChristmasCards · 08/01/2025 09:48

PurpleDiva22 · 08/01/2025 09:45

Yes OP is a bridezilla for asking if something is weird. Mother of God this fucking site....

Yes, being miffed because a friend asked if a MUA who was on site anyway had availability to do their make-up as well...

absolutely a bridezilla 😂

Imagine that, using the same colour of mascara on the day. Wedding photos ruined I tell you!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/01/2025 09:48

DappledThings · 08/01/2025 09:46

Sounds like a load of over thinking to me. She just asked if someone was free. They weren't.

Same as if the bride had booked somewhere for brunch the morning of the wedding and someone else asked if they could book for breakfast. If the place didn't have spaces for breakfast because they were busy preparing the brunch that's fine, if they could do an earlier breakfast setting too then all good. No harm in asking.

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It's really not the same thing at all.