AIBU? Wedding makeup artist and friend

[MumofHennHals]

I get married in August, and I've booked a hair and makeup artist to do myself ( bride ), 4 bridesmaid and mother of the bride & mother of the grooms hair and makeup.

One of our guests, young female ( in 30s - not that it matters, but trying to get its not one of my mums 60 yo mates )

Messaged because she used to live in Marbella, where we are getting married and she's looking to get her makeup done. She asked who was doing mine, just out of curiosity I thought, thinking she would look for someone else.

She's only gone and messaged my make up artist and asked if she can do her aswell at the venue when she's doing the bridesmaids.

Sorry, AIBU or is this weird as F?! My makeup artist declined but I'm a bit miffed about it.

I personally think trying to get involved in the wedding party is a little strange; my guest used to live in the region of the wedding, she was a wedding planner in this region & knows many more make up artists.

She also lives about 50 minute drive from my venue, she isn't even paying for a hotel before you all say 'abroad wedding costs guests' most of my guests live in Spain, as do I.

Let it go. Your wedding is not the most important thing going on in her calendar that year. It sounds like she was trying to be efficient vs taking anything away from you, or trying to 'get in with the bridal party'. Don't be so territorial!

It’s a bit odd.

most hairdressers or makeup artists take a wedding booking quite seriously. There are normally a lot of people to get through and it often takes longer than expected so they block out most of the morning or at at least from the time the booking starts until the wedding starts to make sure they have the time to make everyone look great and accommodate that quite often its busy and can be difficult to keep people on track due to emotions and other preparations happening.

my point is once they are booked they don’t have space to take on another booking! And likely wouldn’t want to as this type of booking can be tiring.

that being said I wouldn’t have a problem if they took a booking from a guest as long as it in no way affected the booking I had made in any way! So say I had booked for 11am I wouldn’t mind if a guest had booked her/him for say 9am as long as my booking started bang on 11am as decided!

I’d think it was a bit weird of the guest for booking the same person but I’d probably put it in the same category as plumbers or electricians that everyone would like to book something that another person they know has because then you’re more confident that it’ll be done well.

these professionals quite often only earn when they are actively working (ie not by the hour) so I don’t begrudge them booking others! My only rule is my booking is what iv asked and am paying for!

BUT as much as I do mind guest booking. It would be completely separate from mine. I would not be happy with guest expecting to come to my appointment and just adding some money to cover herself.

I don't see the harm in asking. If the mua felt they have capacity, they would get more money from one trip. They don't, so no big deal

my guest used to live in the region of the wedding, she was a wedding planner in this region & knows many more make up artists.

She also lives about 50 minute drive from my venue, she isn't even paying for a hotel before you all say 'abroad wedding costs guests' most of my guests live in Spain, as do I.

Well, if you think that's relevant context to explain matters now then it might have been useful to include from the beginning!

Why do you think she's trying to get involved in the wedding party? Asking to get done at the venue would just make it easier time wise for the MUA if she had space and time to fit your friend in.

She isn't asking to come and drink champagne with you or whatever else you're doing in the morning. Not that I particularly see the issue even if she was but I appreciate others are more protective of the getting ready for the wedding bubble than I was.

Sorry that last paragraph should’ve saint as much as I don’t mind

So she's trying to get her make up done at your hotel venue in your getting room with your bridal party? Or a separate room away from your party?

The MUA declined and so this is a non-situation. Except that dwelling on it is the warning sign that you are heading into Bridezilla territory, OP. Turn back now, while there's still time - let this go. It's just a day, and you don't need to control every aspect of every person involved.

OP seems to know this woman extremely well to also invite her to a wedding abroad so I'm sticking with my original guess that it's an unwanted/not-close-to family member on her or the groom's side

I don't think it's weird, the guest won't know how many people shes booked to do. For my DD's wedding it was only her (rest of us are cheapskates!) so would have been fine for others to book.

But that would be for the MUA to say 'no', not for a potential customer to second guess whether she has space on the day.

OP, pull it back. File under 'probable misunderstanding' and move on.

She asked whether the makeup artist had availability. It's ok to ask. Like I say, she's running a business. You're making a lot of supposition based on that such as that she would want to be involved in the wedding party etc when that wasn't what she asked.

You're allowed to get a bit stressed in the run up to your wedding but I wouldn't recommend venting in person like this about individuals who are making the effort to come to your wedding.

@Hoppinggreen

Apparently. I'm bemused that people pay for make up full stop, I did my own, i don't understand why you want over the top makeup for your wedding. Personal preference and all that.

1 makeup artist is going to do 7 people's hair and makeup? Hope you've got some strong coffee ready!

How is it weird? She asked whether she could also get her makeup done. You're making a fuss out of nothing. How does it impact you? You will still get yours done

Mua already has a booking - from the bride - so was quite right to turn down the second overlapping booking.

I never learnt how to do my own really because I hardly wear it but wanted a bit for my wedding. Definitely not going OTT and I had a mate do it but if he hadn't been free I probably would have had to pay someone.

Agreed, she wasn’t asking for the bride to pay for it or to change anything else the MUA was doing, and she wasn’t asking the bride to change anything.

MUA might’ve had someone she works with who might’ve been able to to do it, it makes no difference to anyone that she asked a question.

She asked, she’s got her answer, no big deal at all.

That’s not what the bride is complaining about though.

She wasn’t trying to get involved in the wedding party, she just wanted to get her make up done.

I think you’re being really weird about this, chill out and take a breath or your wedding is going to be an unnecessary stress for everyone involved.

Yes true. Bride should roll her eyes at flakey friend and remember not to share so much in future

Why is the friend flaky?

It’s a bit off but given your MUA turned her down I dont think it merits another moments thought. With wedding upcoming, you must have plenty of other things going on to occupy your mind.

As long as she wasn't expecting you to pay / to be included in with the bridal party then I can't see the harm in her asking?

Yes I assume she would say -I am booked to do wedding party at hotel 9-12 so can do you on site at 8.30? Or not available as she is with you for longer hours.

Not that guest is trying to get into the bridal suite!