AIBU? Wedding makeup artist and friend

[MumofHennHals]

I get married in August, and I've booked a hair and makeup artist to do myself ( bride ), 4 bridesmaid and mother of the bride & mother of the grooms hair and makeup.

One of our guests, young female ( in 30s - not that it matters, but trying to get its not one of my mums 60 yo mates )

Messaged because she used to live in Marbella, where we are getting married and she's looking to get her makeup done. She asked who was doing mine, just out of curiosity I thought, thinking she would look for someone else.

She's only gone and messaged my make up artist and asked if she can do her aswell at the venue when she's doing the bridesmaids.

Sorry, AIBU or is this weird as F?! My makeup artist declined but I'm a bit miffed about it.

The MUA has said she doesn’t have time but why would it matter if she did have a slot and took a booking from one of your guests? If she had had time for another slot, she might have taken a booking from a client who is nothing to do with your wedding 🤷‍♀️

This actually makes even more sense for her to have asked your MUA.

She'd know who would want to be arsed to go out and do the makeup of possibly one solitary guest (probably nobody), so why not take advantage of the fact that you MUA is in situ? She'd possibly be familiar with how long a makeup session lasts and familiar enough with the venue to know if there would be a room that could be used, away from the Bridal party.

I mean the easy response is for your MUA to say 'Sorry, I am booked for that morning.'

Unless she has approached the MUA and said she is part of the wedding party? In which case YANBU.

she isn't even paying for a hotel
No
She's doing a 1h40 min round trip instead

says it all really...

Why is her not paying for a hotel an issue? You say it like she ‘should’ be for some reason? Nobody mentioned abroad wedding costs, what does that have to do with anything?

Tbh I find the whole MUA thing weird, just another unnecessary expense.
When I got married I applied my own makeup in about 10 minutes and I wore quite a lot.
I still looked fab because like you op I was young, lovely and happy to be getting married.
Anyway whatever happens have a wonderful day with your gorgeous man (or woman)

You're being very weird. She only asked the question! She's not living in the area so may not bother contacts. The MUA might have been able to do her also on the day either before or after yours. I think you're being bridezilla thinking she wants to meddle in your wedding.

It takes ages to do one person's make up. She not just going to be able to do anyone who wants it. I was going to say it's not like face painting but then realised face painting properly actually also takes a lot of time and skill

That's because you are skilled at make up presumably. I am not so skilled and wanted to pay someone else who knows what they are doing to do it and I'm glad I did as I was far to nervous to do it

I think it's fair enough for her to ask but I would 100% expect the mua to refuse every time

The MUA declined, I wouldn’t give it a moments thought. Certainly wouldn’t ruin a friendship over it.

God people on here are so weird about weddings. 1 hour 40 round trip - what an inconvenience! No wait, it's a lot of people's daily commute.

Have people responding that this isn't weird never been around a bridal party getting makeup done? Of course it's weird for a random guest to try and geg in on it. Normally if doing a bride and bridal party they will start very early and not be done until shortly before the ceremony starts.

She wasn't trying to get in on it. She was enquiring whether someone she knew was in the area at the time might have additional availability earlier or later in the day around her existing commitment. Nothing weird about it.

If she isn't staying in the hotel or close, where was she asking the MUA to do her makeup? Maybe that's why the OP sees her as muscling in on the wedding party - she'd need to be using one of their rooms. So yes it does seem a bit odd to me - surely guests not staying at the hotel put their make up on at home, and I don't think I know anyone who has had an MUA for a wedding they were only a normal guest for or if they do they would surely use someone local to where they were getting ready, not come to the hotel especially.

However, it's not worth getting annoyed about it thinking more about given the MUA said no..some people just don't think things through or realise how they look!

But obviously they don't have availability, because they've been booked already. Like, why would you ask the one MUA you absolutely know is already busy at that time unless you're secretly hoping to slot into their existing booking?

My wedding venue isn't a hotel, it's a wedding VENUE. With a bridal suite to get ready. I don't know what's so complicated about this for people to understand.

Is she asking for her make up to be done during the time you have booked the MUA or before/after it?

No need to be rude, I was one of the only ones siding with you as I think your friend is a CF if she is chiming in on your venue. But anyways.

I don't see why mums net have an instantly assumption that I am 'Brideszilla' I am completely not. In fact far from it.

I'm paying for my bridesmaids, myself, my mother and my husband to be's mother to have our makeup done, to feel extra special.. to make it a special part of the day and make memories with my SPECIAL friends.

There's many of other friends that I'd much rather sit with me while I'm getting ready for my wedding than this friend, I actually know her through my husband's friend, she is his girlfriend. I've met her approx, 3 times.

I was delighted she said they was coming, the way she worded asking who was doing my hair and makeup- was more so that she would like to get hers done ( I don't care about this ) and would reach out to someone else. When I told her who I had booked she went 'Out of all the makeup artists I know, I WANTED HER!'

She's coming to my wedding venue at 9am, for a wedding at 4pm. The bridal party is aimed to be ready for 3pm, but the MUA and Hair stylist will be with us until we walk down the aisle at 4.

I will never get this experience again in my life. It's no one's business why anyone would want to experience this; or not. I've chosen too.

Her message seemed quite abrupt, I WANTED HER. Like I'd booked her to do my makeup on her wedding day before she ( the bride )booked it first. No quite the opposite. I booked an outstanding make up artist for MY wedding day first & she seemed miffed by it.

I then receive a message from the makeup artist asking if it's correct and extra guest will be at the venue the day of the wedding and will be able to come to the room to have her makeup done alongside the bridesmaids, can I squeeze her in.

I said, no, she won't be and that I'd like to have my makeup artist focus the time we have allocated on myself and the bridal party than her.

My makeup artist agreed; said she just wanted to check it wasn't something I was set on & that she has allocated her day to do my booking and nothing else.

The guest also put the wrong date, she put the day after my wedding on the text - which is a little offensive and shows how much she cares.

Making something special, an experience for my nearest and dearest is something I want special to us, at my venue ON MY WEDDING DAY.

There's something called google, and she's aware of makeup artists in the area. She just wanted my one.

You're not being the slightest bit bridezilla, OP. The woman is being weird and a CF.

I dont think you're bridezilla, even though you were rude to me for no reason.

Because they weren't necessarily booked for the entire day. They might be booked 9-11 so the mate could get in a 8.30. It's not a difficult concept.

Making something special, an experience for my nearest and dearest is something I want special to us, at my venue ON MY WEDDING DAY.

Yeah, not bridezillaesque in the slightest OP 😂

You sound very wound up about something that at best could simply be miscommunication, and at worst a bit of a CF who didn’t get what they wanted anyway

Don't give it such headspace

My comment was in response to the tone implied in she isn't even paying for a hotel.
Yes I've been involved in wedding prep.
Yes i know what goes on.
The guest asked a simple question
The mua gave her answer
No need for any drama where none exists.