AIBU? Wedding makeup artist and friend

[MumofHennHals]

I get married in August, and I've booked a hair and makeup artist to do myself ( bride ), 4 bridesmaid and mother of the bride & mother of the grooms hair and makeup.

One of our guests, young female ( in 30s - not that it matters, but trying to get its not one of my mums 60 yo mates )

Messaged because she used to live in Marbella, where we are getting married and she's looking to get her makeup done. She asked who was doing mine, just out of curiosity I thought, thinking she would look for someone else.

She's only gone and messaged my make up artist and asked if she can do her aswell at the venue when she's doing the bridesmaids.

Sorry, AIBU or is this weird as F?! My makeup artist declined but I'm a bit miffed about it.

Would be to me. And OP's friend clearly. It isn't lacking in social awareness to just not be as precious about something as OP is.

You’re being ridiculous and precious. It would make sense to have the same make up artist.

Another bridezilla.

Sorry OP, you’re the unreasonable one here.

She wasn’t trying to gazump your wedding booking, she was looking for a recommended makeup artist who might have an available slot while already at the venue. Sounds a practical solution.

I dont see the issue. If the make up artist had time she could have said yes as another job. But hang on do you mean sitting in your hotel room for example? That's out of order. But in a designated room elsewhere then I don't see the issue.

I agree that since the MUA refused, it's no big deal, but it's not quite the same analogy.

Breakfast being made is mostly not extensively photographed, and is mostly just done and delivered.

If the MUA was booked in before the bridal party, the other guest might not like what they've done, might not be ready etc. If after, there might be tweaks to the bridal make up that delay them (and they're generally there right up until the bride sets off for the aisle anyway).

Most MUA charge a premium for weddings because the expectation is to take as long as needed to get it right, not to worry about other bookings that day.

One of our guests, young female ( in 30s - not that it matters, but trying to get its not one of my mums 60 yo mates )

Would you be less aggrieved if it was one of your “mums 60yr old mates”? 🤔

What am i missing?
She asked if there was space / time?
There wasn't.
End of story.
What's the issue?

It's nothing to do with you.

It's up to the makeup artist to decide whether she can allocate time to do the extra guest after she has prioritised the bridal party.

How did you find this out?

Did the friend/guest tell you or did the make up artist gossip about your friend?

If it was the latter I would be discouraged from using the makeup artist because of her lack of professionalism.

I think it’s a slightly odd request but probably not done with any intent to cause offence - just not thought through. Especially if she isn’t married herself and had makeup done she won’t know the protocol. I wouldn’t get hung up on it as your Mua has said no anyway.

Expecting to join in with the wedding party getting ready is weird and intrusive. It’s not clear if that’s what she had in mind though.. maybe she thought the makeup artist might have had time before or after the wedding party makeup to go to her hotel room and do hers.

Totally off topic but do people really get professional make up to be a wedding guest?
Is it a common thing?

This is not odd at all. Your MUA wouldn't be doing the guest instead of the rest of you. It would be in addition to therefore the guest would either have to wake up super early or have their appointment after yours. It's not an issue.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom You do realise that many MUAS take on multiple bookings per day I.e after doing your bridal make up, they go off to do another bride elsewhere.

It's not weird at all. As long as it isn't in your space with your bridesmaids and the mua hasn't double booked you I don't get what the problem is.

You need to rein in your bridezilla tendencies

The make up artist declined. No harm, no foul. Just forget about it.

I don't massively see the issue really. As long as she wasn't expecting it to be included in the price you're paying, or to be done before everyone else then it seems to make sense. I wouldn't spend time being annoyed about something like that. It's not happening anyway.

God I really hate these awful Bridezilla attitudes! Me, me, me, it’s all about me! “Random hanger on?”!!! Fucking hell! This is a guest invited to their wedding, good enough to pay a fortune to travel to another country to watch them get married, a friend I would hope if invited to something so important, presumably a gift will be expected and given??? And yet the bride is “miffed” about the fact that she asked, not demanded, but ASKED if the make up
artist had space to do her too? The disdain in your post @MissScarletInTheBallroom , I hope you treated your own wedding guests with a bit more kindness!

I genuinely don’t get it. When I got married the most important thing to me was having all the people we loved there with us. Yes of course I wanted to look nice, who doesn’t? But I appreciated the fact people gave up their time and money to come and celebrate with us, and wanted them to have as good a time as we did, I would never have given any headspace to a total non-event like this, taking offence at something so trivial on what should be the happiest time of my life.

Two of my guests were a bit of a pain in the arse in various ways. Of course I was polite to their faces but I'm sure they both made it into a couple of "people being pains in the arse at weddings" threads on Mumsnet. 😉

If either of them had wanted to gatecrash the getting ready part I'd have just said, "Sorry, it's bridal party only. See you later!"

I think it's weird to try and book someone you have just found out is definitely booked by someone else for that morning

If I was close enough to somebody to invite them to my wedding abroad (cost wise) I wouldn't care if they asked my make up artist for work done (& totally accept if the make up artist said no because 6+ people is alot)
So I'm assuming there's a back story here & the "guest" is actually a distant family member or close to the groom's side to be wanting her make up done for photos & already knows she needs to hire somebody else while you chew on the indignity of her trying to muscle in on your big day when you don't even feel she needs to be there

Why does it bother you OP? Is it because you worry the MUA will disappear or rush to get to the next booking or be late? If that's the case that's on the MUA not the friend. I get why you might be annoyed but if you look at it sensibly the MUA could book anyone in if she has time another wedding at another venue etc. If you hire her for 9am-1pm and she trots off at 12 and you look a mess then there's a problem but if you book her for 6 clients and she finishes and goes what's the issue?

As long as I was happy with what I'd paid the MUA to do for me and my bridal party, I wouldn't have any issue with this. It makes sense to use her but only if she has the time once she's dealt with what I'd paid for her to do.