Alcohol,police,social services

[Elewina]

Hi all i really hope youre well and that you could help me. I'm not proud at all of what I've done, embarased heartbroken and dissapointed with myself
Saturday I was anoyed
with my partner as we going through hard times and he wasn't talking nicely about me to his friend over the phone and i could hear all that. I was still toxicated from friday night we've stayed up till morning. I was so angry at him that and we've started the argument. He didn't do anything bad at all. I don't know why I've rang 999 ,however i hang up. They turned up anyway and before that he took our 3 yo to neighbours so police couldnt see me in that state having a Child at home. But I was trying to take her back home but he wouldnt let me. I've made a scene on the estate was screaming and hit my partner and back home. Police turned in and I told them that I've accidentaly rang them. Anyway they wasn't rushing to leave and was looking around. Long story short I've been arrested for an assault and criminal damage(his phone which he smashed himself) he was begging them to not arrest me but theyve had to after speaking to there's boss. I was discharged after 10hours and now social services will be involved. Monday's gone and didn't hear anything. I'm so nervous what will happening next.
When will they contact me and what can happen?
My child is well looked after. Shes my everything. Nursery can't stop complementing her. No issues with her development either.shes always happy to see me or her dad when colecting her.
Whats the procedure? How often will they visit us. How long will they stay with us for? Will they test for alcohol? I won't touch alcohol ever again as lessons learned(i know too little too late) however i did like my beer in the past and it was quite regular at night time.
I've never been that scared in my life.
Please any help/advise will be appreciated

Whatever involvement they have it's 100% justified. Your 3 year old isn't in the safest hands if you're still intoxicated on a Saturday from pulling an all nighter on a Friday while your child is in your care. Hopefully you get the help you need to learn not to do shit like that, and to not be abusive to your partner either.

I think PP put it well. I think you need to sort yourself out to be honest. They will want to speak with you and will speak to your child's nursery to see if they have any concerns. Take any help they offer you and be co-operative and honest with them.

My child is well looked after

Not if she's witnessed behaviour like that she's not. Shape up your parenting.

"My child is well looked after."

Your three year old has a mum who drank so much she was still pissed the following morning.

Parents who were arguing so much her dad TOOK HER TO A NEIGHBOUR to try to protect her.

A drunk in the morning mum who then tried to take the three year old home- and when prevented from doing so, caused a scene in the street, screaming, and then assaulted the child's dad.

A mum who was then arrested.

OP - that is not a "Well looked after" child. Getting so drunk you are still pissed the morning after with a child in the house is bad. Everything else is abusive.

Your child witnessed domestic violence - that is a form of child abuse.

Noone can tell you how often SS will visit, or what will happen - it depends on a lot of variables, including what they determine after investigating.

Take ALL the help you can. Work WITH them.

Sorry OP, but you really need to quit the booze altogether. A 3 year old being around behaviour like that is horrific to most parents, no wonder you're ashamed of yourself, you should be!

You were still drunk on Saturday morning from all night drinking, hitting your partner and having a screaming match out on the street. Your partner had to bring your three year old to a neighbours house. I'm glad Social Services are involved in what sounds like an awful circumstance for a child to be in. You sound chaotic and volatile.

You need to be honest with yourself.

Your child is absolutely not well looked after if you are drinking to the point of still being drunk the next morning, making a scene in the street and hitting your partner. She shouldn't be exposed to that.

Just work with social services and do what is asked of you.

I think you need to evaluate your relationship with your partner as it sounds very toxic. It's good that you have decided not to drink again. If you can't control your behaviour when drinking you need to quit.

This sounds like a very toxic situation involving alcohol abuse, domestic abuse (from both of you to each other by the sounds of things?) and public disturbances, so it is good that police and social services are involved, as your child needs to be protected from this. It sounds like there is much that needs to change but I hope the agencies involved can help you and/or your partner to separately be adequate parents to your child- it doesn’t sound like any of you would benefit from the relationship continuing. I wish you luck and strength to comply with the process to get the help you need to make some positive changes so that you and your child can enjoy a healthy relationship in the future. All the best 💐

And don't come on whinging about needing support and kindness because in all honesty the only one in need of that is your little girl.

Sorry, just reread your post and not sure why I formed the idea your partner is also abusive- maybe the mention of him smashing up his phone made him sound a bit volatile.

It doesn't have to be all doom with SS..it sounds as if you need some support for the stuff you're not posting on here. You owe it to your bairn OP. They'll be in touch, be honest about your difficulties and don't be combative with them.

You need to engage with SS.

Proactively look into ways to help yourself, so you can do the best for your child.

Just because your child is developmentally on track and gets complements at nursery, does not mean they're well looked after.

Please take this as a wake up call to evaluate what's best for your child.

Hi OP, if you’ve been drinking a lot regularly you may need help to stop drinking safely. You can call alcohol anonymous on 0800 917 7650 for support.

This would fall under domestic abuse and they should safeguard the child.
The police should contact the nursery to ensure the child is supported under operation encompass because she is deemed as a victim of domestic abuse as well as your partner.

You need to work with whatever suggestions SS make and pull your socks up.

No child should see, sense or hear this.

Your partner is also a victim and should seek support or advice as needed

@Elewina have you made a second thread because you didn't like the replies on this one?

If you think this is a well looked after child, then I'm afraid your bar is too low. This is not how most normal parents behave.

I'd start to look at your life through SS eyes and make changes ASAP. Make sure your house is tidy and clean, good food in the fridge, clean bedding on the bed etc... and be prepared for some harsh questions after a visit.

If it truly was a one off and a really bad one at that, I don't think you have to worry too much - but it sounds like it could be part of a larger picture.

She made the second thread immediately after making this one.

Agree

This isn’t the first time it’s happened so be honest with yourself- these situations don’t come out of the blue the way you are trying to say, this is the first time it’s come to anyone’s attention.
Take the help they offer and don’t tell lies to social workers as they will see straight through you.

You might not want to hear this, but this might be the wake up call you need. Get some help (AA) with the alcohol, you can't do it alone.

Engage with social services, be proactive eg give up alcohol, consider an anger management course, and they will discharge you from their lists and your child will be in a safe home

Nah that's shitty parenting right there, and the fact you don't see an issue with it is why social services need to investigate

@HeeleighWay - please could you tell me how you see this? I’m genuinely asking in a non-confrontational way as I see this sometimes on posts by users and have no idea how to see this myself so genuinely curious 😂

I’m so useless I don’t even know how to get back to threads I’ve read sometimes lol 😂

The biggest red flag about all this is that you don't seem able to see how concerning your behaviour was, and why it was not good parenting. I would suggest you sit down and have a good look at yourself, and a good reflection, whilst sober. That would probably do more than anything to help you with social services, at this point.

How do you know this isn’t the first time?