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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Alcohol,police,social services

128 replies

Elewina · 06/01/2025 21:35

Hi all i really hope youre well and that you could help me. I'm not proud at all of what I've done, embarased heartbroken and dissapointed with myself
Saturday I was anoyed
with my partner as we going through hard times and he wasn't talking nicely about me to his friend over the phone and i could hear all that. I was still toxicated from friday night we've stayed up till morning. I was so angry at him that and we've started the argument. He didn't do anything bad at all. I don't know why I've rang 999 ,however i hang up. They turned up anyway and before that he took our 3 yo to neighbours so police couldnt see me in that state having a Child at home. But I was trying to take her back home but he wouldnt let me. I've made a scene on the estate was screaming and hit my partner and back home. Police turned in and I told them that I've accidentaly rang them. Anyway they wasn't rushing to leave and was looking around. Long story short I've been arrested for an assault and criminal damage(his phone which he smashed himself) he was begging them to not arrest me but theyve had to after speaking to there's boss. I was discharged after 10hours and now social services will be involved. Monday's gone and didn't hear anything. I'm so nervous what will happening next.
When will they contact me and what can happen?
My child is well looked after. Shes my everything. Nursery can't stop complementing her. No issues with her development either.shes always happy to see me or her dad when colecting her.
Whats the procedure? How often will they visit us. How long will they stay with us for? Will they test for alcohol? I won't touch alcohol ever again as lessons learned(i know too little too late) however i did like my beer in the past and it was quite regular at night time.
I've never been that scared in my life.
Please any help/advise will be appreciated

OP posts:
Fundays12 · 08/01/2025 05:16

Your child is not well looker after. She is certainly not growing up in a safe and healthy home if her mum sits up drinking all night and is still drunk on sat morning and out fighting on the street with her dad.

Was your partner sober or drunk? He did the right thing sending your daughter to a neighbour. It was the safest place for her. You need to take full responsibility for your behaviour and change it. Engage with social work, take any advice and help they offer and most of all get dry.

Your drinking is totally out of control!! I feel really quite sorry for your 3 year old living in that situation. You wouldn't even have been fit to do anything with her on sat. Take this as the wake up call you need to stop abusing alcohol and to stop putting your daughter at significant risk of harm (she was wether you accept that or not) as your behaviour around her is harmful to her.

Hyperbowl · 08/01/2025 11:16

Scaredandalonepls · 07/01/2025 09:41

I think it sounds like she had been out drinking and the partner removed the child as she was clearly intoxicated and becoming violent. I honestly don’t think the partner was drinking, she’d have made it far far clearer in the OP to place the blame elsewhere. “We” could refer to other people she’d been with.

ETA- he was talking about her on the phone, to me that’s him venting she’d been out all night (likely “again”).

Edited
Show quote history

The OP was talking about her and her partner and said we had been up all night and she was still intoxicated so it’s heavily implying that they both were because no one else has been mentioned to have been drinking in the house. Nowhere does it say she’s been out all night.

ETA- he was talking about her on the phone, to me that’s him venting she’d been out all night (likely “again”). This is reaching at its finest. There’s no evidence to suggest what was said during the phone call. Stop creating false narratives to suit your own agenda and stick to the facts, absolutely shameless. Mumsnet is here to offer help and advice to people not create drama and make up lies to bully people with.

There’s enough going on here to be working from that’s actual fact without putting spin on it just so you can further drive the boot in. The OP has some serious problems that she will need an enormous amount of support to work through if they’re going to keep their child in their custody. He may have removed the child to a neighbour but from the sounds of the OP he was drinking as well meaning not one responsible adult was in the house to care for that child and he’s smashed his own phone up and lied to the police that the OP did it. That’s also abuse. The only innocent in this story is the poor child who’s been exposed to all of this toxicity by her parents.

Scaredandalonepls · 08/01/2025 13:26

Hyperbowl · 08/01/2025 11:16

The OP was talking about her and her partner and said we had been up all night and she was still intoxicated so it’s heavily implying that they both were because no one else has been mentioned to have been drinking in the house. Nowhere does it say she’s been out all night.

ETA- he was talking about her on the phone, to me that’s him venting she’d been out all night (likely “again”). This is reaching at its finest. There’s no evidence to suggest what was said during the phone call. Stop creating false narratives to suit your own agenda and stick to the facts, absolutely shameless. Mumsnet is here to offer help and advice to people not create drama and make up lies to bully people with.

There’s enough going on here to be working from that’s actual fact without putting spin on it just so you can further drive the boot in. The OP has some serious problems that she will need an enormous amount of support to work through if they’re going to keep their child in their custody. He may have removed the child to a neighbour but from the sounds of the OP he was drinking as well meaning not one responsible adult was in the house to care for that child and he’s smashed his own phone up and lied to the police that the OP did it. That’s also abuse. The only innocent in this story is the poor child who’s been exposed to all of this toxicity by her parents.

Show quote history

There is no reaching on my side. Until the OP explicitly says the partner was drinking I’ll infer it as I wish to. She’s not the most reliable witness is she now. How disgusting youre trying to justify and defend her behaviour

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