Leaving an 8yo home alone

[Polkadotbabushka]

My niece told me today that when her mum drops her dad to work and picks him up… so twice a day, they leave her at home. It’s a 15 minute journey if no traffic so half an hour twice a day.

She is quite immature for her age and is apparently left with the tablet to keep her company!

When I approached my DH about it he said he knew as his sister had already told him it’s just easier.

I just couldn’t do that. My son is a year younger and actually more mature than her but I wouldn’t dream of it.

what do others think?

Tbf year 7s aren't 8.

The usual hysteric cries of neglect and call SS!
Jeez. Totally depends on the child.
Stick my son in front of his tablet and he won't move for days.

If I pop out, he knows about 999 and to go next door if there is an emergency.

Some people seem to be raising completely dependent and ill-prepared older kids who are going to have a hard time adjusting to secondary school.

That's not okay! And all those people going on about how they were left alone years ago....times have changed! And children's welfare is luckily taken more seriously nowadays.
OP (and the other people saying they know someone who does similar) you need to report it to social services.At least they might give the parents a talking to so they don't do it again.You can report anonymously.Or if you don't want to do that, report it to the school safeguarding staff or headteacher.

Too many scare stories about young children being left alone and things going wrong.....they are putting her at risk, especially doing it so regularly.
Lazy and irresponsible parenting.

And children's welfare is luckily taken more seriously nowadays. No it isn’t. It’s just that children’s welfare used to include helping them to become independent and resourceful rather than needing a parent nearby 24 hours a day. But then in those days they’d be out working at 15 or 16, there’s a bit more time now.

In what way is it more dangerous to stay at home alone now than in the past if " times have changed"

And children's welfare is luckily taken more seriously nowadays.

It's funny how many posters cheerfully ignore risks of absolutely unnecessary car journeys, when being in a car crash is one of the biggest risks to children.

My oldest dc has moments he asks to be left in the house (he's 8 so no chance) he thinks he can play his PlayStation while I go to the shop. Needless to say he gets put in the car and left to huff all the way to the shops. He has sen though so I wouldn't leave him alone anyway

Could he not have cycled or walked if there’s no public transport?

15 minutes????

Depending on traffic that could be anywhere from 3 to 6 miles.

Either way he is being a lazy fecker.

Tell him to grow a pair and get his bloody bike out of the shed.

Lazy twat.

And you obviously know he doesn't have a physical disability that he can't cycle or walk that distance?

I'm sorry, WHAT???

Did you just say that disabled people can't ride bikes?

Do you know if he has mobility issues? I don’t know this and I’ve read the two posts from the OP. He’s a grown man and could walk or cycle if he is physically able. He could also arrange a mobility taxi service if needed.

What would your niece do if no one came home. If both parents were in car during a RTA no one would go to the house.

https://www.britishcycling.org.uk/disability/article/20150812-disability-static-content-About-para-cycling-0

Good point!

Especially the logic of “the parents could have a car crash and be killed” asa reason to take the child with them.

It's bonkers the number of posters who suggest the kid would be safer in a smashed up car than the couch.
Even if you don't suggest that as a possibility to the kid, you'd assume they'd eventually call someone, gran or go to a neighbours 'mum went to get dad and hasn't come home and I'm hungry'

Many can't. One of my daughters has epilepsy and the other has ehlos danos and dislocates when she cycles.

"And children's welfare is luckily taken more seriously nowadays."

This thread makes it look as if pandering to parents' anxiety is taken very seriously nowadays. At the expense of the children involved learning independence, self-reliance and self-confidence.

It's hardly surprising that there are so many anxious teenagers and young adults nowadays if, as judging from this thread, many parents are busy telling their children by their treatment of them, that the child is incapable of coping with a short spell of being alone in a very familiar place and is incapable of reacting appropriately should 'something happen'. Whatever this 'something' is. Presumably it doesn't occur to these parents that it is their responsibility to teach their child to deal with the unexpected and, however, unlikely, possibly scary or dangerous.

2x 30 mins is a lot for that age group but not necessarily a concern.

At 8, my DCs were sensible enough to leave for 10 mins while I walked the other to/ from school if they had additional activities.

At 9½ DS2 was doing that 5 min (one way) walk home himself because DS1 started secondary; letting himself in and being alone for 5-10 mins. Sometimes if he'd had a tough day he'd ring from the landline and I'd chat to him hands-free while finishing driving DS1 home. DS2 is much more fond of company than DS1. DS2 has adjusted much more easily to walking around and catching buses than DS1.
At 10 when Covid restrictions ended DS1 was more than happy to be left alone for up to 2 hours and not resume going out on errands with me. (DH had been WFH so there had been no need for him to be left at 9-10)

They had access to the landline with numbers programmed in. There's always a spare key hanging up accessible. Beavers/ Cubs/ Scouts has helped with life skills including what to do in emergencies. The reality is that adults don't always do the right thing in emergencies I had a neighbour fight a chip pan fire with water... is that evidence that u75s are too young to be left alone? Children at least have lessons in good practice fresh in their heads.

That said, I think it was better starting with very short amounts of time and building up gently within the DC's comfort zone. Driving isn't ideal, not for the minute chance of a fatal collision, but more for the risk of congestion and delays. Ultimately what really matters is the child's maturity, having the skills and resources to manage being alone safely and being happy about it.

Excessively mollycoddling children does them no long term favours either.

What has changed?

100 yards away in the property is not leaving him!!

@Tia86 @Whatafustercluck our 8 year old doesn’t have a phone but we have Alexa set up so that if he says call mum or dad it’ll phone us, and we can call it from our mobiles too (great when one of us is cooking and wants to handsfree call the other who is out) ds stayed at home the other week for 15 mins as he wasn’t 100% while I took his little brother to nursery - was on the phone to him the whole time although I think he was happy just sitting playing Minecraft and was probably irritated at me being on the loud speaker across the kitchen

Many can.

https://www.nationalepilepsytraining.co.uk/cycling-and-epilepsy/

I don't really think it's a big deal. It depends on the child. My kids would have coped fine, and on occasion where I have had to leave them I've just kept an open FaceTime with them.
I wouldn't be reporting this. Worse things happen everywhere you turn.