Leaving an 8yo home alone

[Polkadotbabushka]

My niece told me today that when her mum drops her dad to work and picks him up… so twice a day, they leave her at home. It’s a 15 minute journey if no traffic so half an hour twice a day.

She is quite immature for her age and is apparently left with the tablet to keep her company!

When I approached my DH about it he said he knew as his sister had already told him it’s just easier.

I just couldn’t do that. My son is a year younger and actually more mature than her but I wouldn’t dream of it.

what do others think?

I absolutely would (and do) leave my 8-year-old at home alone. If I ended up in an accident the police would probably be at our door before he would miss me ><, but if he were to get worried he'd just walk over to any of the neighbours. I was nine when I took the train alone to a different country and twelve when I flew alone! Also, kids from first primary on walk to school alone in many countries.

And how is this so different from him being out all day every day (when there's no school) and us neighbourhood mums all texting each other to see where the boys are if they need to come home for lunch? Or should he also not be allowed to play out of my sight?

I also leave my 8 year old, to poo to the shop or pick up younger sibling. I wouldn't do it that often but I do t think there's anything inherently wrong with it.

YANBU but there was a thread on here recently where people agreed it was fine to leave a 6 year old home without an adult which shocked me.

I occasionally leave my nearly 10 year old but I didn't at 8

I would trust a parent knows their child to know if that's the right decision

Yes. I'd do it too, with instructions not to answer door or use anything in the kitchen

Well. Not dead which she would have been if she was in the car.

Statically, i expect someone is safer in their own home than on our roads.

No it isn't.

My friend recently told me she leaves her 8-year-old home alone for an hour every afternoon while she picks her other daughter up from school. She said it's fine because she just plays on her phone. I was so shocked - why not take her in the car and let her play on her phone there?!! What if the mum had a crash or the kid fell down the stairs? She's not the most sensible kid I know either

I think it's like some children are allowed to play out or walk to school so to some then brief spells at home seems the same..
I didn't leave my children home alone because there is that unpredictability although when you think about it catching the busy school home in yr seven is probably harder than being home alive briefly.
However I walked home from school in the 70s literally in the infants. My mum took me in on the m first day.

So in your scenario, the better option is that she's in the car and dies too?

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone#:~:text=The%20National%20Society%20for%20the,should%20never%20be%20left%20alone

It’s not.

That’s neglect. I wouldn’t leave my 9 year old at home alone, let alone an 8 year old.

My mother did this throughout our childhood

I think it would have been fine for some of mine but not for others. Presumably she knows to get out of the house if there’s a fire, and not to answer the door. If her parents were killed in an accident they’d have saved her life by leaving her at home.

It's not illegal unless they are at risk of harm. Age is not the factor; surprisingly, developmental levels and the likelihood of risk are what make it an illegal act.

I wouldn't do it personally.

Why is a 30 minute return car trip such a big deal for an 8 year old. They get in, strap in, get the tablet out and sit there. Why would you risk anything when it's no big deal to have them with you.

If she has a plan in an emergency I think it's ok. At 8 she knows how to work a phone, open a door, knock at a neighbours' house? It's perfectly legal by the way. Also those people saying "what if there's an accident?". Surely an 8 year old is less likely to be hurt being alone for a few hours, than being in a car accident?!

I leave my 11 and 8 year old home for 15 mins maybe once a week while I take the dog round the block. School also lets them walk home from school together every day unsupervised. I wouldn't leave my 8 year old home alone though. 11 year old has a phone and knows what to do in an emergency.

Statiscally, it's more dangerous for a child to be in a car sat there watching an iPad, than it is for that same child to be sat on their sofa watching an iPad.

It’s definitely not illegal but it’s not acceptable either.

I think the problem is bring away in the car. I mean that's quite unpredictable as in traffic issues, car issues etc wrt delay. I think leaving a child for a few minutes while in a big garden, or taking the dog out if it a few minutes is more normal / acceptable and being guest within earshot or a few minutes out if earshot and building it uk.
Leaving a child and driving away seems quite risky.

Yep, absolutely fine in my books. Depends a bit on the kid obviously.
An 8 yo is perfectly capable of opening a door or make a phone call if there is an issue (the likelihood of which is ridiculously low).

Unless the DC has some kind of disability where they need special equipment put into the car with them what's difficult putting an 8 year old in the back of a car.