Leaving an 8yo home alone

[Polkadotbabushka]

My niece told me today that when her mum drops her dad to work and picks him up… so twice a day, they leave her at home. It’s a 15 minute journey if no traffic so half an hour twice a day.

She is quite immature for her age and is apparently left with the tablet to keep her company!

When I approached my DH about it he said he knew as his sister had already told him it’s just easier.

I just couldn’t do that. My son is a year younger and actually more mature than her but I wouldn’t dream of it.

what do others think?

I wouldn't let an 8 year old out alone all day. Don't you worry about him at all? I'd take him to play at the park and watch him or invite other DC over to play at home/in garden. Food for thought, my DH was in a car accident several years ago now and his car rolled over and down a steep bank. He wasn't found for over 5 hours. When he was found he was unconscious.

My dad once left my 7&9 year old alone whilst he popped to the shop to get bread for their tea. It was the one and only time ever I let him pick them up from school and look after them and he messed that up. I was so annoyed and explained that if there had been a fire or he’d had an accident, no one would know they were there and they’d be locked in his house without knowing what to do and no phone etc..

Oldest will be 17 next and I still try to make sure she’s safe and tell her not to walk to lonely places on her own etc… No way would I have left them at 8!!

You’re right. As foster carers we had to answer these questions. The correct answer, the one they wanted was ‘it depends on the child’.

😂😂😂 (laughing in 70’s and 80’s voice)

So you think the OP should like to the parents about the the child saying something she hasn’t’ said. This is a terrible idea. And no, the niece mentioning it is not “a little cry for help”. The OP said nothing about the child appearing in any way concerned 🙄

To be fair 8 is young but teens is late

And it’s only 30 minutes, not a few hours!

this is not a good example though as it would be better for the 8 year old to be home than in the car this situation from a safety point of view

It's 30 mins, if the parent is late back I'm sure they can call the kid and say we'll be another 15min due to traffic. I assume the child knows if they don't return and she can't get them on the phone to go to the neighbours.

The child is obviously used to it so not scared, tbh they were probably fed-up getting dragged out twice a day when they'd rather be on the couch with the telly.

It's young but it's not beyond reasonable. It's 30mins it's not like they are being left for hours or expected to sort their own dinner.

Same here. I was regularly left on my own at 8

I think 15 - 30 mins isn’t the end of the world it’s likely nothing will happen inside the house, but there isn’t really any reason the kid can’t just hop in the car.

It depends how much they’re willing to gamble on this, I’d be more worried about external factors. What if someone knocks and she opens the door?

You were lucky, my dh was given a door key to let himself in when he started infants school back in 1960s, so four years old, but you are right, leaving children on their own at a young age is never ok

So better the child is killed in the car accident with them? I'm sure that's not a great example

Suppose if she was a kid that got car sick she may prefer to be at home rather than feel ill twice a day.

My son is 8. I would not do this. It’s not as if putting the child in the car is difficult or time consuming, they can strap themselves in at that age. I wonder what her reasoning is?

Same...Being home alone is one of those MN 'things' that is different to the real world.

He is rarely alone, as him and the neighborhood kids run around in gaggles, right. He usually asks prior permission if he wants to go for walk around the neighbourhood alone (and he does leave the house alone to go see which friends are in) and then I do keep an eye on the time/his return. But while freak accidents and indeed normal accidents do happen, the risks of playing outside in your own neighbourhood with your own friends are surely just a risk of being alive and happy.

I am more aghast, to be honest, as the amount of posts here about solitary screen time at home vs solitary screen time in the car. (Though my kids watch plenty of tv or play videogames with the neighbour boys.) That sounds lonely to me!

I would leave my middle DC at 8 and he walks home alone from school (5 minute walk) at 9.

I wouldn't have left my eldest and probably won't leave my youngest at 8, it does depend on the child.

Middle DC knows how to call me in an emergency and would be comfortable going to anyone of our many friendly neighbours if he was worried or concerned. I would also probably phone when I arrived and was leaving to check on him.

I tend to agree

IMO 8 is only just too young for this. I leave/left mine for 20 mins approx, on occasion, aged 9. However, what I think pushes this scenario into 'not OK' is the regularity (the more often it's done, the more likely it becomes that 'something' happens on one of those occasions) and, above all, the fact that the parents are driving - so much scope for stuff to go wrong and delay them - not even an accident necessarily, but traffic, a breakdown, whatever. When I've left mine at that age I've gone somewhere close by on foot.

I started leaving mine at just turned 9 as we got a puppy and I had to go out frequently for toilet breaks and short walks. No way 9 year old would have come with me every time. Gradually built up from there, by 11 could happily leave for a couple of hours.

This story is tragic but totally different. The boys were 4 and 5 and were being neglected in other ways e.g. faeces all over the home.

I have a 5yo and an 8yo. NO WAY would I consider leaving my 5yo at home (obviously!). I would consider leaving my 8yo (nearly 9). Out home is as safe as can be e.g. gas/electrics checked recently, repair/throw out any dodgy appliances. My 8yo knows how to use a phone, how to open the front and back doors, how to knock on a neighbour's door, not to touch cooking equipment, not to open the front door if someone knocks etc.

I will most likely wait longer before leaving DD home alone, because as PP have said, it's not that big a deal she just comes with me, but I'm quite surprised at the horror in this thread and the implied suggestions of telling school, social services and the police.

I couldn't get worked up about it. If anything, I think it's good to develop independence. There are many sensible 8 year olds.

It's not illegal.

Is she 8 nearly 9 or just turned 8? 9 year olds all walk to school here.

I didn't leave mine at home before he was 10. And he's got his phone and we got neighbours he knows. Tbh he would have been afraid if I would have asked him earlier whereas now he's happy because that means video games😄