Leaving an 8yo home alone

[Polkadotbabushka]

My niece told me today that when her mum drops her dad to work and picks him up… so twice a day, they leave her at home. It’s a 15 minute journey if no traffic so half an hour twice a day.

She is quite immature for her age and is apparently left with the tablet to keep her company!

When I approached my DH about it he said he knew as his sister had already told him it’s just easier.

I just couldn’t do that. My son is a year younger and actually more mature than her but I wouldn’t dream of it.

what do others think?

Or, I could just continue not leaving her alone. Easy fix to a non existent problem.

it's not illegal. Under UK law there is no set age a child can or can't be left alone.

Fine, but I assume at some point you will introduce her to that sort of independence in small doses, so my point remains relevant.

It's OK til it's not ok. Tbh it is more of a risk to leave more than one child home alone together as there is a chance of fighting or bullying or egging each other on. A single child is more likely to just sit there.

The problem is if something happens that the child tries to deal with and can't. And if something catastrophic happened - say there is a pet dog and it attacked the child - the parent would definitely be in trouble.

The NSPCC say that most children under 12 mustn't be left alone and I think that's a good rule of thumb.

Like many PPs, I agree she is too young to be left in this way. And of course it’s your business. Safeguarding concerns are everyone’s business.

There are very good reasons why there is no set age, kids don't suddenly grow up overnight on their birthday.

Keeping in mind there is very little, no childcare provision for secondary aged kids. There will be 11 yos who get left 8.30 to 5.30 during school holidays and inservice days.

While nobody would think it's OK to leave an 8 yo that lenght of time, kids need to build up to that. You can't expect an 11yo who's never been let out of sight to suddenly be ok getting left home alone all day.

Irresponsible and unacceptable.

It’s the risk of things happening and an 8 year old being able to cope. Smoke alarm goes off, someone knocks repeatedly on the door, power goes off.
Also as pp have said if parents were in an accident would the 8 year old know how long to wait to call someone and would she be capable of that?
Way too many ‘ above the line’ ticks on a risk assessment to say it’s a safe practice.

Actually, the guidance from the NSPCC is that children under 12 shouldn't be left alone 'for long periods of time'. Now what counts as a long period is probably up for discussion, but I'm not sure 30mins is a long period in anyone's book.

I occasionally leave my 9 (nearly 10) year old at home on his own while I nip to the shops (15 mins tops really). We have a landline and he knows how to call me, he knows not to answer the door, what to do in an emergency, and generally just watches TV or plays on his xbox while I'm out.

The thing is, all the catastrophic things that could happen, could also happen while a parent is at home. They could collapse or fall down the stairs or become incapacitated in some way. There are numerous stories in the news over the years of children much younger than 8 calling emergency services to get help for a parent that has had an accident or fallen ill. Children are actually quite capable - they remember things they've been taught or seen on the television, and generally are quite good problem solvers given the chance.

My youngest is 9, I’d do this as a one off (he had a smartwatch for playing out so can contact us if need be) but half an hour twice a day at that age no. At 10-11 maybe - my older son would far prefer to be left than have to sit in the car for an hour and is very trustworthy.

I know, but social services/police will take a dim view if there is an accident and the child was unsupervised. That's the reality.

Hence….. it depends on the child.

It's interesting how abandoning landlines leads to some children being less able to solve potential problems.

We had one with pre-programmed numbers, so calling grandma was two buttons operation, and it was always there so my parents were able to check I was at home.

Many people in my area equip children with wrist watches capable of connecting a phone call to and from a pre-approved number, but in my area (Europe) 5 yos are learning to make an emergency phone call and 8 yos routinely walk themselves to and from school.
Thought the age is increasing here as well, it was 6 twenty years ago.

It’s a bit on the young side and will depend on the child.

I think 8yo is too young to regularly be left alone like that, but an 8yo isn't a helpless toddler who is going to sit in a dark house and die of starvation if their parents don't come back. Most 8yo are surely capable of opening the front door and going out to knock on a neighbour's door, or even worst case walking themselves to school or a corner shop and finding an adult to ask for help. My friend's 8yo rings his cousin via whatsapp on a tablet to play Minecraft, and sends me random gifs and things!

I guess it depends on the accident. Playing with matches and causing a fire? Yes. Falling down the stairs? No.

8 is young but not too young if the child in question is capable of being left alone so not playing with matches/the kettle/answering the door to strangers etc.

I reported a very similar situation about a - - crazy-- very immature 8 year old left half an hour each day while parent took child to nursery.
The lado said it was well within the bounds of responsible parenting
.

Quite

Recently my 6 year old was in hospital and DS (11) stayed in eating his breakfast watching tv for 30 mins while dad fed the cows on the yard 100yards away- that was the first time we’d left him. We’ve only started doing it since he’s had a phone which he got this birthday. But.. he rides his bike to his nanas (on the farm but 5 min walk away) and plays out on the farm, he goes swimming with his mates (I drop him and pick him up and he has a phone) and he is starting to do more by himself in prep for high school. He’s probably coming to it late, but.. 8 is so young imo.

Under 12!

So all those kids in yr7 who walk to school ALL have neglectful parents?!

I'm sorry but the NSPCC is the one thats on glue with that one!

In other countries 8 year olds are walking to school, riding their bikes by themselves, and going to the shops. It's the UK that is a complete outlier. I wouldn't do it personally, but I don't really see that it's my business.

I’m really surprised by posts on this. I have a 9 year old, i definitely left her to pop to shops etc when she was 8. She knows not to answer door and how to contact me. Would I have done it as a regular thing at 8 maybe not, but she’s now 9 and is allowed to walk to/from her school, as is the rest of her year 5 class. Most if not all year 7 kids make their own way to school on their own!

They aren't left at home though, are they?

Good luck with the before and after school child care and holiday club for a yr7.

I think it is totally fine and wouldn't think anything by it. But then again where I'm from it is the norm and it would be considered weirder to not let 8yo to be alone for this short period.