To know how much to tell my daughters

[Happyface246]

Dd1 has gone to uni and has her first boyfriend. I think I need to have a chat with her to see if she is using contraception. My husband says that I should let her know that I got pregnant at 22 (it ended in a miscarriage at 12 weeks) so that she can see that an unplanned pregnancy can happen to anyone which I’m pretty sure she is already aware off! My mum and I didn’t have a close relationship and didn’t really talk about these kinds of things. I’m going to have ‘the talk’ with her but unsure as to how much I include. Any advice welcome x

Bit late to have the birds and bees chat now OP! I'm sure she knows how babies are made.

You sound like an amazing mum for a teenage girl.

Why on earth do you think your 22 year old would want to discuss her sex life with you?

You’re probably 5yrs too late, but when my DS got his 1st GF age 18 at uni I just said you’re a bit old for a lecture from me about contraception and safe sex.

I don’t think you need to be having any kind of chat or that nature OP, it’s fine

My dd is 18 at uni and we are close. She’d know that type of info. I did have another chat before she headed off to uni and she went to Brook Advisory for contraception, they specialise in younger people.

I agree with everyone else. This is a conversation you should have had years ago!! No need to have any conversations with her at the age she is now. Believe me, she already knows!! If you want to share your own experience with her then that is fine. If you think she will benefit from knowing it. But otherwise u you are several years late to the party.

You should have had the talk long before now! The best time was about a decade ago, the second best time is now (although most likely the ship has long since sailed and she has learned it all from her peers and the internet already.

OP, you've left it far too late!

I think people are being a bit mean here OP.
If it helps, my mum never had a chat with me about sex or contraception either. We have a great relationship and can talk about pretty much anything else but we just never talked about sex at all, ever. Just because you never had a ‘talk’ with her, doesn’t make you a bad mum or mean your relationship isn’t close.

I do agree with others though that you don’t need to talk to her about it now, she will already know. The most you might do is to let her know that you’re there to help her if she’s like to talk about contraception or need any funding towards it.

You’re about 6 years too late for this conversation!

she’s a grown woman now and it’s a shame you didn’t feel you could talk to her during her teenage years about sex relationships and contraception.

Good god she's an adult! Are you being serious, you've never talked to her about contraception before??

At 18 (? - first year of uni?) she's probably not as innocent as you think 😁

You could offer to pay for any contraception, morning after pill, or abortion she might need.

Agree with the others about the timing, but if it's any consolation she will be extremely well informed already. My parents never spoke to me about contraception and I learned everything I needed from school, university and friends and this was over thirty years ago - pre the internet.

I don’t think you need to say anything more than “lovely to hear you have a BF. Am sure you are both being careful, but you know where I am if you need anything. Love you”

Yep agree you should have spoken to her about contraception years ago!! 🤣

Re the miscarriage, my mum told me fairly young that I would have had an older sibling, not in a ‘use contraception’ way, more in a family history kind of way. I don’t see any reason not to talk about this once they are late teens and not likely to get upset by it.

This is a nice idea

This surely has to be a wind up! She’s 18! 😆😆😆

Echo everyone else. This is batshit. Unless she's a protege and has gone to uni at 14? Otherwise she must be well aware of contraception already. Unfortunately she'll have learnt it from the internet as she had no info from her parents.

I think the horse has bolted on this one!! By all means ask/offer advice on types of contraception but I’d imagine you’ll find she has known all this for years.

Ummm OP your post doesn’t make a lot of sense. You are worried about your 22 year old daughter getting pregnant now but she’s already gone to uni and is an adult.

This is a talk that should have happened years ago and I’m not sure there is anything you can tell her now that she doesn’t already knows. In fact I would harbour a guess and say she is probably already sexually active.

Say nothing and talk to her about her life often.

My mum did the same thing, just prompted me to think about the Pill. I didn't mind her asking.

Why so late for this conversation?

I assume this post is a joke, yes?

Because what you’re proposing, is that you have the “facts of life” conversation with a grown up 18 year old young woman 🤣🤣

Op, you’re at least 6 years too late.

That conversation comes before they start having sex. Not after 🤣

I think people are being a bit harsh tbh. I know my 17 year old dd knows all about contraception, but I will likely say something along the lines of what CautiousLurker suggests when the time comes as I'd like her to be in control of her choices and not feel that she has to for example go on the pill.