To not tell DH about inheritance? Advice needed.

[bananapalmtree]

NC for this. I've inherited a small amount of money. It needs to be deposited into a bank account in my name. DH and I have separate accounts, although he occasionally asks for access to my account if we need to set up transfers etc. I'm not great with money or banking, so this has been fine previously although I've tried to stop and take control of it all over the past 6 months.

Our relationship is a bit rocky. I've never been great with money and have no savings to fall back on if things went wrong.

I'd like to keep the money I'm inheriting in a separate account and get it into a savings account for a rainy day / future use. But I'm worried if I tell DH about it he will dictate how I use it - it would likely be used towards a down payment on a future house or home improvements. Which normally would be fine, however for the reasons I've mentioned above I'd prefer to have it in savings.

My options are:

1. Open a bank account in my name -

Preferably online as I'm unlikely to be able to get to a branch in the next few days. I don’t know anything about the various high street banks and types of accounts, so not sure which one would be best.

1. Have the money transferred into my own current bank account. But there’s a chance he could see that transaction if he asks to log in one day.

Both options 1&2 could come back to bite me in the ass if he ever finds out that I didn’t tell him.

1. Tell DH about the money and get his advice (he’s really quite good and informed with money stuff and transfers). He also knows the best high interest savings accounts to invest money in so that they make a decent profit in on interest.

I could also combine options 2 & 3. But I'd obviously need to tell him about it. And it will look really bad on me that I’ve not told him about the money. There also may be a chance that he insists I use it to put towards a down payment for a new house or to use for future works on a new house. But I want to set it aside in savings and forget about it until I really need it one day.

I need to sort this out in the next couple of days (Wed really) as I'm holding up the other beneficiaries from accessing their portion of the inheritance because they need to pay mine out first.

AIBU not telling DH about the money? If not, can anyone recommend the best high street bank to open an account with easily online, and how I can ensure he doesn't find out about it?

Will this money impact my tax records in any way? It will just be transferred to me (from overseas), it is so minimal it won’t be subject to any type of U.K. inheritance taxes.

That's a clever idea!

I'm pretty sure she has and she'll have her own reasons. Too many women are screwed over with money, by men.

Just open a separate bank account, online only. Make sure you to call the options for paperless. Easy peasy done.

Good grief!!! Some of the replies are absolutely obnoxious

OP, Starling and Monzo are easy to set up online.

Stash it quietly for now while you decide what to do with it. You can always tell your H later if you decide to.

I have an ISA with a local branch of a building society. You can walk in, with ID and open an account.

I’m shocked at some of the very rude and judgemental posts on this thread. Some of you need to wind your necks in.

Premium Bonds not a good idea because OP wouldn’t be able to withdraw the money from NS&I instantly. It takes a couple of days.

I would say it’s easy to be ‘good with money’ if you are earning double or triple the salary as your wife has taken on all of the parenting and grunt work.

@bananapalmtree I don't think he can be all that smart with money if he's invested in crypto...

What dh with savings leaves his dw with only £23 to last for 2 weeks?

well done on the windfall. I would open a moneybox cash isa account. Its totally easy to do on your phone. No need for him to ever realise!

Whilst having tens of thousands undisclosed to said wife in crypto accounts…. Screams financial abuse to me given he also berates her for not earning more. Certainly not a decent marriage of any kind.

Mentioned Cry4to accounts and it has hidden my post. He has tens of thousands squirrelled away, I don’t understand why pp aren’t more concerned about this? he has been doing this for years whilst also berating op for not earning more, this is not a good or fair marriage by any stretch.

He has tens of thousands squirrelled away, I don’t understand why pp aren’t more concerned about this?

People aren't more concerned because the OP knows he has these accounts. She just doesn't know how much is in them. He isn't hiding the existence of these accounts from her. I don't think it's unusual for someone who doesn't bother with finances to not know how much money there is.

He could be actually hiding others obviously. Those would be the ones to be annoyed about.

My DH knows I have savings and investments accounts. He doesn't know how much is in them either because he doesn't ask or care. They aren't secret accounts. I'm not hiding money from him.

I have a monzo and NS&I account for savings which are both really easy to set up online

If you’re considering keeping money a secret it’s probably time to put some of it down on a good divorce lawyer.

💯

Monzo website states that you can use your accounts International Bank Account Number (IBAN) to receive payments from other countries or currencies. You just share your IBAN with the company/people wanting to do the transfer. As you have a Monzo account already this will be easy and secure option.

wrong thread

I agree with others, use Monzo account. Then see if you can either put it into an ISA or maybe make voluntary contributions to your pension? ISAs are outside the tax system.

Can you open an account that needs a notice period for withdrawals? This might discourage overzealous spending and you can then plan if you ever need it?

If you don't try you'll never know. Google says " Monzo currently doesn't support inbound international money transfers" but you can call customer services to find out 020 3872 0620

Think this is the wrong topic and you need to post in relationships.

Sort the inheritance out short term, then post on there. The fact you want to keep it secret and you have no faith in yourself is not good - OP I think you are better than you/ your 'D'H gives yourself credit for.

For a bank with a helpful high street presence try Nationwide. I agree that there are some financial things that it's easier to deal with in person. I think you can set it up online. Keep your safety net!

Open an isa in your own name and put it in there. It's yours, you don't need to tell anybody, and if there are any questions, an isa can only be in one name only. (At least, that is my understanding)

Good luck.