To not tell DH about inheritance? Advice needed.

[bananapalmtree]

NC for this. I've inherited a small amount of money. It needs to be deposited into a bank account in my name. DH and I have separate accounts, although he occasionally asks for access to my account if we need to set up transfers etc. I'm not great with money or banking, so this has been fine previously although I've tried to stop and take control of it all over the past 6 months.

Our relationship is a bit rocky. I've never been great with money and have no savings to fall back on if things went wrong.

I'd like to keep the money I'm inheriting in a separate account and get it into a savings account for a rainy day / future use. But I'm worried if I tell DH about it he will dictate how I use it - it would likely be used towards a down payment on a future house or home improvements. Which normally would be fine, however for the reasons I've mentioned above I'd prefer to have it in savings.

My options are:

1. Open a bank account in my name -

Preferably online as I'm unlikely to be able to get to a branch in the next few days. I don’t know anything about the various high street banks and types of accounts, so not sure which one would be best.

1. Have the money transferred into my own current bank account. But there’s a chance he could see that transaction if he asks to log in one day.

Both options 1&2 could come back to bite me in the ass if he ever finds out that I didn’t tell him.

1. Tell DH about the money and get his advice (he’s really quite good and informed with money stuff and transfers). He also knows the best high interest savings accounts to invest money in so that they make a decent profit in on interest.

I could also combine options 2 & 3. But I'd obviously need to tell him about it. And it will look really bad on me that I’ve not told him about the money. There also may be a chance that he insists I use it to put towards a down payment for a new house or to use for future works on a new house. But I want to set it aside in savings and forget about it until I really need it one day.

I need to sort this out in the next couple of days (Wed really) as I'm holding up the other beneficiaries from accessing their portion of the inheritance because they need to pay mine out first.

AIBU not telling DH about the money? If not, can anyone recommend the best high street bank to open an account with easily online, and how I can ensure he doesn't find out about it?

Will this money impact my tax records in any way? It will just be transferred to me (from overseas), it is so minimal it won’t be subject to any type of U.K. inheritance taxes.

You can open a Revolut account on your phone. Don't order a physical card, there's a virtual one on your phone. Then you can delete the app and there will be no trace until you reinstall it.
Revolut do savings accounts so you can just leave it there gathering interest.

If ops husband is financially controlling and abusive, which sounds likely, then she's taking steps to protect herself and her money. Context is important.

Always funny to see the absolute double standards on here isn’t it. If this was a man trying to hide money from his wife he’d be absolutely ripped to shreads.

OP has been clear that the relationship is rocky and that if she tells her H about HER money, he will assert control. There has already been pressure and possible financial coercion. So no, she should not openly tell him, and no, of course she’s not being “low”. She’s opening up options for a route out, as she absolutely should do.

Look at Money Savings Expert for the best rates on savings accounts.

Get it into Monzo or Starling first and then move it into a fixed term bond account. They’ll pay a higher interest rate than an ISA in return for you not withdrawing your money for a set amount of time, normally 3, 6 or 12 months.

Except if he logs into her account he'll see it. OP needs a new account (agree with cash ISA) with a bank she doesn't have an account with.

That’s what I just said 😀

Straight into premium bonds or a private pension in your name.

https://www.nsandi.com/products/premium-bonds

https://www.foresters.com/en-gb/ open an ISA or private pension

Honestly you just have to laugh! Women flocking to provide bank account info to help her hide money, if it was a man posting it would be LEAVE!

ThejoyofNC

I think if you're hiding money then your relationship is already dead.

Sorry op, I was thinking this too. You said he’d go mad if there was money in there, of course he would, wouldn’t you? It’s a big thing not to tell someone. When myself and dh started having problems he moved some money. It turned out to be innocent and necessary but we weren’t talking at the time and it drove me nuts!!

I second this. If it's your emergency fund then you don't need cards, paper bank statements etc. Just ensure the cash ISA provider you choose has no links to your existing accounts and use completely different passwords & logins.
Once it's sorted have a good think about how you'd like your relationships with finances and DH to change in the long term. Neither sound particularly healthy at the moment.

And if OP was restricting her H’s access to his own money, deciding how it should be spent and making him feel like he has no say over it, it would be fair to “tear her to shreds”. But she’s not is she.

Monzo accepts money from overseas - https://monzo.com/blog/receive-international-payments

And here are suggestions for a cash ISA -
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/best-cash-isa/

I don't think there is a double standard at play here. OP has indicated that she's in a relationship where she's potentially the victim of financial abuse - having little say or control over how her money is spent. If a man was here asking for advice in the same situation, I think he'd receive help too.

You have said you are not good with money, you have no savings, your dh is quite sensible

Yet you want to hide money from him?

You are deceitful and rubbish with money and he probably has shown frustration with you

Your relationship recipe is a bit screwed imo

The double standards on here astounds me! It's embarrassing how many women are happy to sponge off or screw over men.

Bear in mind that if you are considering divorce, this inheritance amount will be included in the financial settlement

You sound scared of him OP - mentioning rage if he finds out. Do you feel safe? Any DC?

Starling are really easy to do online.
But to be honest you have far bigger issues if your husband would respond with 'rage' if he found money he didnt know about in your account.

Are you serious? You read her posts, and what you got was the H is “sensible”?

OP please ignore these sorts of posts and carry on sorting your escape fund. Do you have children?

Not necessarily in the case of inheritance

What are you afraid of exactly? If you tell him and put it into a savings account under your own name then he can't 'dictate' what you do with it. Is he likely to be physically abusive if you refuse to do what he says?

National Savings can be set up online pretty easily.

Why does it sound likely? Op said he would have rage if he finds out she had gone to lengths to hide money from him which I don’t think is unusual? Also op admits she hasn’t been great with money in the past so maybe she hasn’t asked for help from partner in the past which may be why he arranges transfers etc

This.

If someone posted that their husband had hid money from them it would all be cries of outrage and LTB!

You can see different savings accounts and get information here: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/savings-accounts-best-interest/

No, that doesn't sound likely. Her posts actually point to quite the opposite. Didn't you read them?