To not tell DH about inheritance? Advice needed.

[bananapalmtree]

NC for this. I've inherited a small amount of money. It needs to be deposited into a bank account in my name. DH and I have separate accounts, although he occasionally asks for access to my account if we need to set up transfers etc. I'm not great with money or banking, so this has been fine previously although I've tried to stop and take control of it all over the past 6 months.

Our relationship is a bit rocky. I've never been great with money and have no savings to fall back on if things went wrong.

I'd like to keep the money I'm inheriting in a separate account and get it into a savings account for a rainy day / future use. But I'm worried if I tell DH about it he will dictate how I use it - it would likely be used towards a down payment on a future house or home improvements. Which normally would be fine, however for the reasons I've mentioned above I'd prefer to have it in savings.

My options are:

1. Open a bank account in my name -

Preferably online as I'm unlikely to be able to get to a branch in the next few days. I don’t know anything about the various high street banks and types of accounts, so not sure which one would be best.

1. Have the money transferred into my own current bank account. But there’s a chance he could see that transaction if he asks to log in one day.

Both options 1&2 could come back to bite me in the ass if he ever finds out that I didn’t tell him.

1. Tell DH about the money and get his advice (he’s really quite good and informed with money stuff and transfers). He also knows the best high interest savings accounts to invest money in so that they make a decent profit in on interest.

I could also combine options 2 & 3. But I'd obviously need to tell him about it. And it will look really bad on me that I’ve not told him about the money. There also may be a chance that he insists I use it to put towards a down payment for a new house or to use for future works on a new house. But I want to set it aside in savings and forget about it until I really need it one day.

I need to sort this out in the next couple of days (Wed really) as I'm holding up the other beneficiaries from accessing their portion of the inheritance because they need to pay mine out first.

AIBU not telling DH about the money? If not, can anyone recommend the best high street bank to open an account with easily online, and how I can ensure he doesn't find out about it?

Will this money impact my tax records in any way? It will just be transferred to me (from overseas), it is so minimal it won’t be subject to any type of U.K. inheritance taxes.

I'd open a cash ISA in your name. It pays interest, is tax free and it can sit there for years quietly growing until you really need it.

I never told my ex if I had a little windfall, he would always decide how he wanted to spend it within an hour, invariably on something that wasn't one of my priorities, and it took all the fun away. As long as you aren't up to your gills in debt as a couple, YANBU

If you have online banking already, it should be easy enough to set up a savings account with the same bank. Take you 5/10 mins.

Straight into your own account

No messing

Basic bank account with a different bank, can be set up in minutes online and not credit scored. Think of better ways to invest it, later.

Oh my! I would open an ISA in my name only and then leave it in case you have need later on. Just before I married I inherited money and gave it to my Accountant husband. Didnt ever see any of it again. Please, put it away for your security.

Premium Bonds - assuming it’s under £50k, set the account up to re-invest any winnings. If DH ever did find out about a win, no need to tell him the total in your account.

As PP said, ISA or you can open an account with Chase completely online - and it pretty much opens immediately. I would keep the money completely separate to any existing bank accounts you have.

But as I've already mentioned, DH occasionally accesses that account. I can only imagine the rage that would ensue if he sees money in there I've not told him about. Even if it's in a separate savings account, it will show in my overall accounts if he logs in.

Take control - If you can post on here, you can google “best savings accounts”, it’s not rocket science. I second the cash ISA idea with a mainstream bank, that won’t impact your tax at all. Eg Virgin Money have one available at 4.5% tax free that you can set up online. Don’t get exotic if this is your emergency fund.

Any advice on which one and how I would do this? What information will I need to provide and how can I ensure nothing be shows up at my house (debit cards, account statements etc).

If I set up an account today would it be able to receive an overseas bank transfer by Wednesday?

Open an ISA with a completely different bank and tell nobody.

If you need somewhere for it to go immediately you can open a Monzo or Revolut account in just a few minutes. Your husband doesn't need to know anything about it. You can then set up a stocks and shares or cash ISA at your leisure. If you open a savings account associated with the current account you already have it will be visible if your husband logs into your account.

You will receive a card in the post - it comes without any branding on the envelope so won't draw attention.

I think it is absolutely your right to have a secret fund of money and something that could give you a bit of mental security

I think if you're hiding money then your relationship is already dead.

Meant to say I've been really happy with Monzo.

You can chose a paperless option for statements

Premium bonds also a fine idea if you already have an ISA
or just prefer the idea, but you’d need the money in a bank account first so would need to set another one up if you want to keep this completely separate. And I would recommend keeping it entirely separate, if you haven’t co-mingled it he will (probably) have no claim.

• Open a bank account in my name -
Preferably online as I'm unlikely to be able to get to a branch in the next few days. I don’t know anything about the various high street banks and types of accounts, so not sure which one would be best.

• Have the money transferred into my own current bank account. But there’s a chance he could see that transaction if he asks to log in one day.

Both options 1&2 could come back to bite me in the ass if he ever finds out that I didn’t tell him.

This is very concerning

• Tell DH about the money and get his advice (he’s really quite good and informed with money stuff and transfers). He also knows the best high interest savings accounts to invest money in so that they make a decent profit in on interest.

There is a 4th option where you tell him and make it clear you are putting it away into another account. It's a red flag to me that someone even had to consider hiding money, even more so when the only option that involves telling him means him taking control.

This would be my preferable route as I do have a Monzo account that only I have access to. But I'm not sure if it can receive a bank transfer from overseas? I'm worried if something goes wrong it will be very hard for me to get a hold of anyone to help me, as I've heard their customer service isn't great and they don't have any physical branches I can go into if needed

Everyone should have access and agency to their own money. Trust ur instinct and put it in a separate account for Wednesday then set up an ISA when you have time. Make sure you ask for a paperless bank so there is no paper trail. Then consider whether you’re in a healthy relationship.

Set up an account online with any high street bank that isn’t your current one, or something like Monzo as PPs have said. Then when you have time, invest in ISA or similar to maximise it. This is your money, you don’t have to tell your H or share it for something that’s his priority. Maybe you will get through the rocky patch, maybe you’ll decide to move on. Either way it will be easier if you know you have options.

Download the Monzo app and open a Monzo account. You'll need a passport and proof of address which you photograph in the app and then there's a wait whilst it's approved but the account will he open within 24 hours. Starling is another option for a quick online account if youre not keen on Monzo.

Once you've got the account open then you can have the money transferred there.

Look at Martin Lewis's suggestions for a cash ISA, those can take a little longer to set up so get that started now.

Give the solicitors dealing with the will your Monzo account details and then once you have the money you can transfer it to the ISA. It's very straightforward and usually possible to do just from the app on your phone.

Presume you're also happy for your husband to lie to you? And to hide money from you? And to delay you jointly getting on to the housing ladder?

This is a pretty low thing to do. Maybe have a think about what you're doing and why you're doing it?

I agree, but people can take a while to get everything in order to leave. And it’s clear that taking control of her own finances is something OP needs to do first. Don’t hide behind l’m bad with money” OP, you can do this 💐

OP keep in mind you got only put 20k in a ISA every tax year, do you know DH hasn’t already put any in a ISA in your name. Or if you have inherited more than that you will have to do it in over 2 years any way.

i agree with what others have said regarding hiding this, it doesn’t sound healthy. I say this with concern for you OP you shouldn’t be concerned about telling its your money and he should be letting you decide how it is used.

I understand your predicament OP and I hate to be the one to say this but if a man was posting on here asking about whether to hide cash from his wife he would be ripped to shreds. If you do separate then this money needs to be taken into account for division of assets.