To think this Tesco worker was a bit OTT?

[Newfamilyhome]

Perhaps I've taken it the wrong way and he was trying to be helpful but it came across a bit condescending if I'm honest.

So, I've just popped into Tesco's for some oil for my car. For context, I top the oil up regularly (not a leak, the car just drinks the stuff) so I'm fully capable of doing it myself. I've messed around with cars for years and see it as a bit of a hobby. Anyway, went to the self scan and the man came over to take the tag off then asked me if the oil light had come on. I said yes and carried on scanning my shopping whilst he stood there and said "make sure you don't put it in whilst the engine is hot and under no circumstances do not put it in whilst the engine is on". I just nodded and said "yes thanks for your help". I was trying to be polite and hoped that he would take the hint that I didn't need any advice.

He then continued "Make sure you wait until the morning before you put it in otherwise the engine might overheat and you could crash into someone else killing them or yourself". I did start to get a bit irritated at this point and said "yes thank you, I top it up regularly so I know how to do it". His reply was "maybe you should ask your parents to do it for you". Not that it matters but I'm 30 years old!! He then asked me what car I had and told me to get rid of it immediately and buy something else 😂

I felt quite flustered by the end and just wanted to get out of the shop. I'm not sure why he felt the need to give me this unsolicited advice tbh, maybe because I'm a woman?

AIBU?

It's actually really fucking offensive to assume everyone who's annoying and/or rude is "ND", especially as that term so wide ranging as to be meaningless. Stop doing that.

@WellsAndThistles exactly, and ND people need to be able to work. Indeed it is a source of pride for many. I hope Tesco has had a positive response to their recruitment of ND, not complaints like on this thread.

Could he have been neuro diverse? I know of a lovely man in our local supermarket who is most definitely on the spectrum. I find him very endearing but many customers find him blunt or rude, but I think it’s because they’re unaware of his autism.

Well we know he’s not a mechanic because he works in Tesco.

You do you.

If you are so miserable and easily irritated over something so trivial and harmless, I feel sorry for you.

Far easier and nicer to be polite and carry on with your day.

@NewNameNoelle thank you! I know about the Audi issues. This is my 3rd Audi (although first one with this particular issue) so I'm familiar with the brand and known problems. I haven't had the car tested but it's showing all the signs. Unfortunately I don't think Audi will cover this as the car is 10 years old and doesn't have a full service history with them. I've had the car for 3 years and apart from this it's been very very reliable (I know people say the brand is rubbish but I've not had this experience personally)

My mechanic said as long as it topped up regularly and serviced on time it should be fine, of course he might be wrong but I'm only planning on keeping the car for another year, maybe 2 so either way it's definitely not worth paying out for an engine rebuild/piston brings to be replaced etc

Yes, women, shut up and assume every man who gives you needless advice about not killing yourself and others is ND and be kind to him.

Absolutely this! Whenever this happens to me I just smile benignly at the miscreant and say, quietly but firmly, "You do realise I know exactly what I'm doing, don't you?" There's something about posing this as a polite question that blows their minds - they feel they have to answer (because it's a question) and watching their minds scrabble for any kind of logical response is absolutely joyous! I then just smile some more as I get on with my business ..... 😂😂😂

@MogsSprog Eh? 🤣 my car is fine and I'm not insecure. Well, certainly not over a car anyway. Thank you for your concern though!

Oh please. So dramatic 🤣🤣🤣

Nobody has said that!

Nobody knows if he is ND, people are just saying perhaps he is.

People are also saying he is a sexist pig.

Could be either or neither.

Agree with this.

and WRT a PP - yes you have to treat ND people a certain way if you work for them, to accommodate their needs but the wider world does not have to. In my children’s sports group there are ND children. They get treated the same as everyone else, and it benefits them enormously

I'd have thanked him profusely because, before his advice, I was just going to throw it at the car and hope for the best 🙄 patronising fuck

It's literally right above. "Don't be mean, be polite at all times, never get upset".
Fuck that noise.

The only one who has said sexist pig is you, and now you’re saying someone else said it.

You are shutting down criticism of this man’s patronising comments based on a theory he is ND.

Agree. Are we supposed to assume all strangers are ND and treat them like they’re toddlers by default?

The lad in the gym, even if I knew he was ND, I’d still have said exactly what I said.

Also some customers are ND. What happens when a ND person meets a ND person?

Grow up!

How sad are you.

My response is to people that have said that it is ‘irrelevant’ if the man is ND.

I disagree with that.

As I have every right to thanks!

Fuck your noise!

He was just being nice. I would have appreciated it

They combust!

What happened to your entreaty to be ‘tolerant and understanding’? 🤣

Is that only for random men giving patronising advice? 😂

It’s irrelevant to how people should respond. Does it serve ND people well to treat them like they’re stupid, or like they’re children, or entirely incapable of being aware of their actions? I don’t think it does. ND people have to live in the world and not everyone cares that they’re ND.

There are far more common-or-garden sexists than autistic people. So the balance of probabilities is that he was mansplaining arse.

It's absolutely irrelvant to the feelings of the people he's pissing off.
Stop assuming people have disabilities and stop infantilising those you assume do. It's ableist and offensive and not virtue signalling what you imagine.

Funnily enough I have a female friend who is ASD and as many of us know ASD presents differently in women than it does in men. She says she feels she has to make SO many allowances for the ND men and the narrative in the community is the men should be treated differently but not the women.

Fuck that noise indeed