To think this Tesco worker was a bit OTT?

[Newfamilyhome]

Perhaps I've taken it the wrong way and he was trying to be helpful but it came across a bit condescending if I'm honest.

So, I've just popped into Tesco's for some oil for my car. For context, I top the oil up regularly (not a leak, the car just drinks the stuff) so I'm fully capable of doing it myself. I've messed around with cars for years and see it as a bit of a hobby. Anyway, went to the self scan and the man came over to take the tag off then asked me if the oil light had come on. I said yes and carried on scanning my shopping whilst he stood there and said "make sure you don't put it in whilst the engine is hot and under no circumstances do not put it in whilst the engine is on". I just nodded and said "yes thanks for your help". I was trying to be polite and hoped that he would take the hint that I didn't need any advice.

He then continued "Make sure you wait until the morning before you put it in otherwise the engine might overheat and you could crash into someone else killing them or yourself". I did start to get a bit irritated at this point and said "yes thank you, I top it up regularly so I know how to do it". His reply was "maybe you should ask your parents to do it for you". Not that it matters but I'm 30 years old!! He then asked me what car I had and told me to get rid of it immediately and buy something else 😂

I felt quite flustered by the end and just wanted to get out of the shop. I'm not sure why he felt the need to give me this unsolicited advice tbh, maybe because I'm a woman?

AIBU?

Glad others have picked up he was very likely autistic.

Ah in the days before self checkout I remember a young lad saying the name of everything he was scanning...ANUSOL...yeah thanks for that buddy...you may be on the spectrum but I'm now mortified!

Hes not allowed to give any advice at all apparently. Madness if you ask me.

I went back out and checked she was OK and she was really frazzled and kept saying things like “Fuck my fucking life, this just WOULD happen to me” and “This is the shittest week of my shitty life”. Funny thing is a few weeks later her son had started in my son’s class, they’d recently moved to the area and I don’t know if she’s embarrassed or doesn’t recognise me at all (I suspect the latter) but she’s never mentioned it in the playground and I don’t want to say “Oh remember that day you had a total nightmare and meltdown, it was me you were swearing at” 🤣

Thing is, if he is autistic, it’s fine to politely call it out. “thanks for your advice but I am very experienced in this and do not need help”

Great way to shut down a thread. He’s autistic. Case closed.

@PeppyGreenFinch no that is a fair comment and completely agree!

could he be autistic? There’s a woman in my local Tesco who will come and tell people how to cook their food, it can be annoying and some people are really ratty to her. She is autistic so most people let her chat away happily

Thanks N16!

Yup. Like being autistic invalidates anything the OP felt

@Newfamilyhome

Not to be an unnecessary negative voice on this one, but we had an Audi which ‘was a bit thirsty’ on oil. Garage said it was fine etc, they’re just ‘thirsty’, well, turned out to be more than that. It became thirstier and thirstier, to the point of a litre every 500 miles. I always had a bottle in the boot.

It was a known Audi problem (which they admitted and paid out for in the US but not in the UK) and a complete engine rebuild. Which Audi tried to charge us for, but in the end they settled for 10% once we could prove every single oil top up had been the correct oil (we had to send receipts, luckily I had the stuff on regular order from Amazon and our mechanic and garage were very helpful too)

I saw your post and immediately wondered if it was an Audi. Might just be worth a touch of caution. I do hope that yours is fine.

This is the first thing I thought too.

My local Tesco’s hires a lot of ND people and people with various disabilities and they often comment on my shopping or give me very obvious advice.

I just go along with them with a smile and they actually often brighten up my day.

Most people serving at supermarkets in London barely acknowledge your presence so it’s nice to have someone being chatty and friendly.

or just an arsehole. Who knows? Certainly not randoms on the Internet.

You encountered a professional mansplainer on coke

One unexpected frosty morning I'd run out of de-icer & didn't want to wait on the windscreen defrosting with the blowers so got the kettle purely for convenience of holding/pouring & chucked (cold) tap water over the windows - the bin man then proceeded to mansplain the effect using boiling water would have!

Pointed out to him that this wasn't my first time defrosting a car & I didn't need a random man to tell me what do because my 2 dads & 6 brothers made sure I was well equipped to maintain my car when I passed my test almost 30 years ago (& none of them spoke to me as if I was thick).

@Newfamilyhome - aside from the hilariously "helpful" Tesco guy (what a dick!) Is that actually right that you are not meant to put engine oil in a car and then drive it? I'm sure I've had to top mine up in the middle of a long journey (it also drinks oil) and it was fine? No one crashed, nothing exploded.

But I'm worried now...

Serious question

Textbook mansplaining

I take particular delight in using the kettle for this purpose as without fail you always get a help man telling you not to pour boiling water onto the windscreen! It's worth doing it just for the mansplaining. I do tend to use slightly warm water though, but maybe I just like living dangerously....

@Jezabelle85 same, my local Tesco is very ND positive so not unusual to encounter someone with autism there. Poor guy, he would have thought he was being helpful 😥 hopefully people don't complain about him, he likely is very proud of his job.

Nobody is saying that, why are you so triggered?

Maybe OP and others could learn about ND. It may help in not being upset by behaviour they don't understand. You may even grow to like ND people!

I’m not triggered, don’t worry. It’s just irrelevant to the OP’s feelings.

I saw your post and immediately wondered if it was an Audi. Might just be worth a touch of caution. I do hope that yours is fine.

I would have guessed Audi too. I used to just keep a bottle of oil in my boot for the inevitable light coming on.

I don't know what Tesco is like to work for, but they do seem a very disability aware employer, so I would like to think of a reason for this exchange other than just being an arsehole.

I thought the same- he sounds autistic rather than purposefully mansplaining. Glad OP wasn’t rude to him as my sons autistic and like this

Not really mansplaining just offering unasked for advice. After the first comment you could have just said "oh yes I know - not my first oil chamge." Or "yes that's right - i probably know more than you about oil." Whichever style you prefer. Then if he'd carried on you could say it's mansplaining (though in reality there's no way of knowing of he'd say the same to a man or not.)

The parents comment needed nothing more than to bd laughed after. No need to be flustered!!

This could be a Daily Mash sketch. I would have been silently thinking just f*off.🤣🤣🤣