Are we being unreasonable to think she's being unreasonable

[jadeycakes666]

I am back from a late lunch with long standing friends. One of whom has recently split with husband of 19 years. She cheated on him with one of his friends. Her and husbands friend are not together and she and her husband tried for a while after she told him what had happened.

August last gone she messaged us all to say she had taken his keys and told him to get out as she couldn't stand him being so miserable. We were all slightly taken aback by the attitude seeing as she's the one who broke his heart but it's not our relationship so hey ho. We all have known her husband since they started dating and she asked that we all blank him from our lives.

When he left he stayed in hotels for a while and she told him he wasn't seeing the kids (3 of them) in a hotel until he had a stable home. He found one and she told us all she wasn't letting them go round as he didn't have enough furniture bar a sofa TV and beds for them.

She has told us herself that he has left her the house, the car and all furniture and electronics that he purchased in the house. They also had a joint account with around 22k in which she gleefully told us she had emptied and told him so and he has said no worries keep it for the kids. He also pays her £800 a month CM and sends the kids £50 Weekley for any treats etc they might ask of her so it doesn't dip into maintenance.

At Christmas she very smugly told us she was making him drop his kids presents two weeks early as she didn't see why he should be seeing them over Christmas as she was doing all the work with them, we asked how he was supposed to when she kept rejecting him asking to have them. She got annoyed.

Anyway today she has asked us all for lunch and told us she has served divorce papers and will be going for full spousal maintenance so he has no chance of getting himself on his feet and meeting anyone as he'll have to pay this on top of his voluntary maintenence. She found this really funny. She told us she's better off herself now as UC are paying a fair chunk of her housing fees.

Everyone kind of made a face and another friend sat back and told her she was being extremely insane considering the circumstances.

She stormed off after we settled the bill and has gone home and removed herself from the group chat.

What a horrible, horrible woman. You should all be thankful she's removed herself from the friendship group. I'd be rallying round the husband and telling him what she's said so he has the ammunition to fight back in court.

😆 🤣 😂 😹

I am glad there is a solicitor involved. He needs to make sure they are pushy and that he documents everything. If she refused mediation that is not going to look good for her either.

Why are you still friends with this nasty bitch?

Spousal payments taper off after a time and not ongoing. I was advised you can get 2-3 years but the expectation is that you've found or trained in something in that time to stand on your own two feet.

She cheated on him , they split up .
They got back together then she took his keys and put him out of of the house as she was sick of his miserable face .
He then jumped through all the hoops , let her keep the £22 k from the joint account , got the flat so he could see his DC as she wouldn't let them go to a hotel.
Arranged the CMS and £200/pcm for treats .

Is there a slim chance he wants her back ? Not her but his life and his DC but living in the family home .

Maybe that's why he hasn't gone to the Solicitors . If indeed he hasn't . No-body knows .

"She stormed off after we settled the bill and has gone home and removed herself from the group chat."

Always nice when the trash takes itself out. Don't let her back in.

Keep in touch with the husband. Poor bloke.

Your reaction could be the kick in the arse she needs to realise how awful she is being to her children, this will all come out when they’re older that she denied her children the company of their Dad for spiteful reasons. Keep calling her out on this and hopefully things will change for all of them.

She is an absolute bitch. Why the hell are you friends with someone completely spiteful, with no morals who is fucking her kids up and ruining her ex husbands life even though she was the bitch who had an affair?
Having said that why is her husband letting her get away with this behavior? I hope your husband has told him to get a good solicitor and go for 50/50 for the children. He also needs support to start seeing his children. Maybe he thinks giving in is the best option but she doesn't respect him and will take the piss even more as long as he let's her.

How? Totally relevant to the fact OP said husband told her to keep the £22k savings and she's on UC

Amazing story. He's a saint, she's an evil villain who actually sits there cackling and telling everyone openly about her schemes. Was she stroking an ocelot too? 🙄

Bloody right she sounds vile

He isn't lovely, if he's used the children as a punishment for her cheating. If she was a SAHM, then he's used his money and other means to get full residency. There's children who have lost their primary carer and living in a big house doesn't make up for that.

She's not declared it or has spent it....

What an awful person your DF has turned out to be @jadeycakes666 Don't get me wrong humans wouldnt be top dog without that streak of selfishness, but she is going to come a cropper when karma catches up with her.

I am so glad your DH and your other DF DHs are seeing her ex. He def needs friends right now. He sounds like a really decent bloke too. I hope he gets a good solicitor who will look after his interests and those of the children. Not seeing their dad is affecting them significantly.

@PennyApril54 Haven't heard 'Jings' since I was last in Glasgow - thanks for the reminder.

She won’t get spousal maintenance- sounds like she might be in for a bit of a shock

Well with no fault divorce now her affair is irrelevant. I should imagine he was hoping with him being amenable and with time she’d cool down and maybe be reasonable. He also sounds like he was very depressed at the end. But people like this only get more wound up when people are good to them. They feed off drama. Having kids with her and if he’s a good dad he is probably terrified to do anything to piss her off. Courts can take years and that’s plenty of time to have the children turned against him, access denied, the usual tricks.

Is she a real person??
Or have you been friends with a Disney villain all this time??

Op, she’s VILE!

Literally the worst of the worst of woman kind.

I'd stick around OP just to see the smug look be wiped off her face by the time the divorce is final - she's in cloud cuckoo land if she believes that is how things will go...

Hope she gets her comeuppance soon

Do you think women can't be evil? I bet you wouldn't be doubting this if the roles were reversed.

The father should have stepped in to formalise the split well before now.
They sound financially secure so both he and the Mum could have set up a home where the kids could stay.

No, it is. A family member had to.pay it to his ex.

Exactly what I thought.