To ask the worst things your parents have said to you?

[BradleyGreenToes]

I’ll start -
I’m a slut
I’m a failure without any friends
I’m irrelevant to the family because I don’t have children

When I was about 6 my mum couldn't find my brothers school jumper. I remembered I'd carried it to the car for him but couldn't remember what I'd done with it after that, of course this had to devolve into a household screaming match with her then boyfriend getting involved and storming out. She said to me "your father left because you're such a horrible little bitch and now he (her bf) is leaving because of you aswell. Why do you have to ruin my life?"

Go to insult was slut/whore/slag for as long as I can remember. Nobody loved me or cared about me/ she was the only person who gave a shit about me everyone else would be happier if I died.

When I was 20 she was angry at me and phoned me to tell me nobody would care if I died tomorrow. When I hung up on her she phoned me back and told me she had never said that. My boyfriend and his mum had actually heard it so I knew I wasn't lying but she tried to gaslight me and I feel like if they hadn't heard it maybe I would have believed her.

Can't even get into all the things she said when I told her I was pregnant. Basically I was going to have my child taken away because I'm selfish and awful. That comment directly led to serious mental health issues which lasted almost 10 years. I was sure my children would be taken from me at any time and slept on my sons floor for months so I could feel his breathing all night. Just incase.

My Mum - "I wish you had died and your brother was still here instead."
I was about 8 at the time and I've never been able to forget those words.

My Dad, in a text - "Unless you're coming to see me today, don't bother coming again. I genuinely don't want to see you again if you don't turn up today, and I don't want any excuses."
I was 18, having my first miscarriage, and was about 10 minutes late to go see him for Sunday dinner.

I'm NC with both my parents for lots of different reasons, but the best thing they ever did was teach me how words can really hurt a child. I now have three children and absolutely love how close to me they feel.

When a teenager. Father: 'too childish to smoke a cigarette', 'has an arse like two eggs in a handkerchief', 'dresses so plain only elderly people would be interested', 'not interested in your education as you've already had a better start in life than I had.' Mother: 'hypochondriac', 'has got brain damage from going out in the evenings to night clubs with other people from school'.
I think they got lucky I just became an alcoholic and didn't end up serving life for something or other.

You’re a wild girl and one day you’ll give your father a heart attack and kill him.

I was much milder than my siblings (however was adopted and they were all biological children) and other than a phase of being rebellious as a teen was a quiet obedient kid. Siblings were all certified wild, in trouble with the law, needed constant bailing out of every situation they got into. That was okay, but when I acted out at a fraction of them, it wasn’t.

A few years later during their second split as she was flagrantly cheating again they had a huge argument and he did have that heart attack and died.

And I got to watch her play the piteous widow, it was fucking disgusting. I’ll never forget her hissing those words at me and to think how wrong she was…

Difficult to choose one....but the front runner is probably the time she threw my brother and I out in the middle of the night on NYE when I was eleven. She made us pack all our stuff into boxes, while she prowled around lashing out physically and saying things like "you've never brought me anything but heartache" and "your fucking father is welcome to you". She then drove us down to my father's (uninhabitable) house and dumped us in the garden in the pissing rain. Dad (on leave from his job in the Middle East) was out getting shit-faced, so we just sat on the boxes all night getting soaked. In the morning, she turned up and made us load all the stuff into the car, then drove us home again. The only thing she said to us was "Sprigatito'sBrother, you can leave whenever you fucking want. Sprigatito - you're not going ANYWHERE." I actually think that was the most chilling bit.

I’m sorry you went through all that. How are you now?

Wow.

Just. Wow.

‘ Just because you’re my daughter doesn’t mean to say I have to love you’ said to me aged 10. As I got older the situation escalated and included preventing my dad giving me away at my wedding and on the birth of my first child saying ‘other people have grandchildren but I don’t’ …I have been NC for 40 years now. Sometimes you need to accept you cannot change the situation and walk away.

At a family wedding, where we saw a lot of family we hadn't seen for years, I overheard my mum being asked if she had to look after my children much while I worked. She said no she didn't, because I "don't work". The truth was I had set up my own successful business when I had children so I could set my own hours around school days. I worked all hours and weekends around the kids. The next year both her and my dad asked if they could have several years of my pension credits to top up their pensions, which I had accumulated through this "not work" 🙄

My mother was always awful - my brother was 7 years younger than me and she'd beat me if I wanted to play out rather than look after him whilst she was in bed or hadn't read with him or washed his clothes or if I hadn't cooked tea for me and her (from aged 6!)

The most recent:

My brother moved 6 hours away and was due to get married but 6 weeks before he passed away unexpectantly aged 31 with no health conditions (now been put down to SADS).

She was away when I rang her to tell her and waited 4 hours for her to get home before I drove us down there (she can't drive). She wouldn't speak to my and my Ex Step Dad had to repeat what I said and she'd answer him.

During the 2 days we were there She told me repeatedly that I should have been the one that died and not him and that she had nothing to live for as me and my 5 children weren't important to her.

Last December (20 months after DB passing) she told me she needed to work on her grief and as such she wanted no contact from me or my children. 1 year later she still hasn't bothered despite my eldest DD having her first baby and my DH with a cancer diagnosis (she knows this as my cousins wife works for me)

My dad once told me he hoped I was raped and murdered on the way to an afterschool club because I left my room in a mess. I was 13 or 14.

"i didn't like you until you became pregnant"- then said it was a joke apparently and I take things to heart for looking shocked.

My son was born with severe Sen and I was told
"you ruined that boy" because he used to love watching peppa pig from 1 year old and apparently that caused his autism and other neurological issues.

edited as I thought of another one. I was also told "I wish I strangled you at birth" when I was a teenager. I wasn't even sure what I'd done 🙃

Is that what you’re wearing?

My mom once told me :
-I’m frigid.
-I’’m a slut
-I’m ugly and fat
-I’m having an affair with her bf

I was 16 at the time. No I wasn’t a slut, didn’t have a bf. Certainly not sleeping with her bf (my stepdad at the time) . I still have appearance issues and anxiety to this day . And yet I still talk to the vile washed up old cow, who thinks she was the best mother and now apparently grandmother ever ! Loads more to it but when I look back I think wow, I would never dream of saying that to my daughter

“I love you more, I’ve always loved you more” - my mum to my younger brother, in front of me. I always knew it from a young age but hearing it was pretty heartbreaking

• commenting on my weight every time she sees me
• pretending a trip was for my birthday and inviting someone else too on it. When I said i won’t be doing anywhere with that person she says ‘ i won’t enjoy a trip with you anyway’

Whenever I tried to assert myself she would threaten to put me in care where I'd be "treated much worse and beaten-up".

What an odd thing to say to a child.

“I wish you’d died instead of him” - two week after my dad passed away when I was 14.

“I’d stop eating if I were you, you’re getting rather wide” - said with a sneer to 15 year old me, who weighed 7.5st

my life never belonged to me, my mother blamed me for being attacked at 11 and ending up in a hospital in the next town. she used me to get the police to move us, from 7 i was a latch key kid who had to look after my brother who was two years younger. i started cooking and ironing for a family of 5 when i was 12.

when i got a boyfriend at 14 i was told to chose him or them, just because i was happy. if i chose him i had to leave home. I got married at 21 to escape them, at 23 i was pregnant i ended up divorced and they brought me back into the fold big mistake on my part.

i met another and ended up pregnant when my daughter was 8, they convinced my daughter i would hate her and love the next one more. they indoctrinated her and i was too late in stopping it, i believed stupidly that i was there target nor her.

i finally cut contact, had my second daughter, then i fell into coercive control and domestic violence i went from the frying pan into the fire . . . took me another 5 years to get out of that. i never spoke to the parents again they died and i was sad my dad went but my biological mother i couldnt have cared a jot, she blamed me for her getting pregnant at 17 and forced to marry my dad who loved her unconditionally regardless of the numerous affairs she had along the way

One of many nasty comments, but when I was about 10 my mum said that when people asked if I was her daughter, she always said no, that her daughter had died 2 years previously. For context, she had adopted me as a 3 year old, but lost her own natural daughter later on. I remember it like it was yesterday and that was over 40 years ago.

When I was a teenager struggling with my mental health I finally summoned the courage to tell my mum that I was self harming in the hope that she would help me to feel better. She laughed at me and asked if this was fashionable now before rolling her eyes at me. I think she probably didn't know how to handle it and we do have a better relationship now but I've never forgotten it and the way it made me feel.

@Mumwithbaggage I’m so, so sorry that your mum did that to you. It’s sadistic.

Truly awful.
I’m so sorry for your loss 💐

It’s shocking to hear how many people have been treated so badly. I hope you can put it behind you as much as possible. (Easier said than done, I know)

Except my dad believing everything my brother ever told him, they’ve never, neither of them been cruel to me, said anything disrespectful. Even though I don’t see my dad often he’d never say anything like that to me, my mum defo not.