To ask the worst things your parents have said to you?

[BradleyGreenToes]

I’ll start -
I’m a slut
I’m a failure without any friends
I’m irrelevant to the family because I don’t have children

My darling mother had a family house party. I live in the same town and was invited over for "coffee". At noon sharp my mother told me I had to go home as she was taking everyone out for lunch. Everyone but me. My cousin spoke up and asked why I wasn't invited. My mother replied there wasn't enough room in the car for me. My cousin pointed out there were five cars available to take 11 people and surely there would be room for me

My mum was caught outright in a lie and started backtracking. She also continued to be horrible to me whilst out for lunch.

It was then I realised how very much I dislike my own mother

I wish you’d never been born. My mother used to say that a lot.
Never once told me they loved me, either.

Many occasions telling me that I was a waste of space. Still hurts.
I was a fairly good teenager, never caused any problems, did well at school. Still can't think why she'd ever think it was justified.

These comments growing up affect me more now as an adult than what they did when i was on the receiving end as a teenager

Look at your massive roll of fat (about my waist, I was in my 20's and a size 12, she was a LOT bigger than me)
What if she's absolutely gorgeous (about my new BF's ex)
Got me to lie to my Dad as a little kid about where we were going so she could see her boyfriend
All I could hear all night was your voice and you laughing really loudly ( I was about 13 and had some friends over for the evening. I still don't think anyone wants to hear what I've got to say nor that it's important.)
Told me many times that I was adopted (I wasn't)
Look at your broken veins
Look at your grey hairs
I hate the school summer holidays (said to me when I was a kid, many times)
She was very, very nasty when she was drunk.
... just a taster, I could go on ...
She died five years ago. I don't miss her.

hard choice between 2
no 1 That she was seriously f*ed off I was born a girl so she had to have another one to get the boy she wanted (I’m number 2 of 3). I was about 16/17 when she said that - 30 years later her son is still the love of her life 🙄
no 2 when I was about 9 dad was seriously ill in hospital for a few months we were shuffled between aunts for a few weeks and then went to say with paternal grandparents- she’d wanted to put us in foster care as it was too much hassle to look after us
now that I am a mum and also went through serious illness etc with my husband I can never imagine wanting my children to be anywhere other than with me to hold them and reassure them and love them all equally

Said to me by my Mum when I was 16...'You bitch! You fucking bitch!' said with such venom.

My 'crime' was showing her the way to my new consortium 6th form (that I'd only been to once before) and directing her down the wrong road by complete accident. It was the next road down that we needed to take.

When the family court judge ordered that she be removed from the house, I was 19 years old. As she left the house for the final time, she turned to me and said 'This is all your fault!'

I mostly have had very little to do with her since then.

My parents divorced 30 years ago. The last time I briefly met with her, she said that she predicted that my Dad was dying.

She's always claimed that she has no idea why I don't want to see her and can't understand what she did wrong.

I suspect an element of narcissism...

And I was never any trouble as a child. Never put a foot wrong, worked hard at school, did whatever I was told so she had no reason to be like that.

When I was 24 weeks pregnant my mum said 'don't buy anything yet, we don't actually know for sure if you'll get a baby at the end of this'. This was my miracle pregnancy after years of infertility. My mum is autistic though and she's really an absolute sweetheart, she'd never want to hurt anyone but she doesn't have a filter and that was like 'ouch'.

I told my parents I was raped at university ten year after it Happened. I finally gathered up the courage to talk to them about it. They replied by saying “ we are sorry this has happened, but it’s too late now, you should have told the police, what do you expect us to do about it” needless to say my whole perspective on who they are as people has dramatically changed as a result

That’s awful wellington I hope you are ok!
my dad said to me “I can’t walk you down the isle or say nice things about you when I don’t mean them”

this was a response to me choosing my friend instead of my sister as my bridesmaid and then saying they were not coming to my wedding. Despite me explaining my choice which was followed up by a “I don’t believe your reasons it’s just selfishness or jealousy..”

• I'm selfish
• it's my fault I am a single parent
• my children will hate me

^
#1) has been my whole life
#2&3 have been in the past 6 months

And then wonders why I've gone low contact

My mum has constantly said horrible things and seems to recently delight in trying to embarrass me with any stories from my teenage or university days.

Around 8 years old, she said you’re horrible just like your father ( they were divorced)

I asked her to please get some scissors for me one time as I was doing something with my hands full and she said “no wonder you’re so fat you’re so lazy” I was a size 12.

A few years ago she said she hoped my daughter would be as nasty and horrible to me so I would know how it felt. This came after she was Contradicting my parenting and I said that I was the mother and to back off.

now she is going deaf she misheard something on Christmas Eve about her garden fence and kicked off. The difference was this time I pulled her up.

my DH says it’s because she is getting older but she has always been this way however social isolation during Covid has made her bitter and meaner. I’ve been LC and lived overseas limiting interactions in the past and I wish I could be NC.

These are heartbreaking. I hope you all have found peace, or are at least close to it.

My (horrible drunk apology for a) father, saying I wasn't worth £1 a week maintenance when my mum eventually left him.

My parents offered me zero time, love or affection at home so I always wanted to spend as much time out of the house as possible even at primary school age.

My mother always made spiteful comments about how I cared more about my friends than her, and I’d often cling to friends who didn’t treat me very well because I didn’t know what a healthy relationship was and was desperate to hold onto that lifeline to get me out of the house. Hope my DC never feel this way.

When I was about 6 she chased me around my bedroom screaming that I didn’t love her. Then pretended to have some kind of collapse to get a reaction and was miraculously ok when I panicked. Sad I learned from that day at such a young age how manipulative she was and I never fell for it again. She has serious issues from neglect in her own childhood but still no excuse!!

My mum called me fat all the time as a child. When I lost weight as a teen she got the GP to threaten to lock me up, threatening to have me sectioned/sent to boarding school/put into care was a common threat in my childhood.

My dad would threaten to take away son when I was a young single parent. He said I was young with a history of mental health issues, all fine now, and he was him, they'd believe anything they told them and I'd never see my son again. He also threatened to kick me in the stomach when I was pregnant as I'd refused to have an abortion.

This is just the tip of the iceberg but things that particularly stick in my mind are:

When I was 11, my dad sat next to me down and told me quite calmly I was a horrible nasty person and nobody liked me and he was embarrassed to have a daughter like me.

i was very violently raped by an acquaintance in my 20s and my mother told me he didn’t even do anything that bad.

There seems to be a running theme with toxic and abusive parents, they destroy your mental health for years then tell everyone how hard done by they are to have an unstable mentally ill child who won’t talk to them or let them see their grandchildren.

And fucking idiots fall for this shit.

Maybe if you had done more housework he wouldn't have had to hit you.

"You used to be such a lovely little girl"said when I was a teen always stuck with me.

From my dad, when I was 11, "You're a great disappointment".

From him when I'd just had my baby, after a miscarriage, "It's a pity you had her. You're lumbered."

So many horrid comments but the one that has stuck with me (hurt) the most; ‘you ruined my life I should have aborted you’.
My mother said that to me when I was 14. I’d found out about her affair with a work colleague.

Reading some of these it sounds like my own mum! There has been many of the years, from i never wanted you, but abortions werent legal, this was a lie because they were! That I made her fat as she couldn't lose weight after having me. Came to see me in hospital after having my first son said dont bother asking me to baby sit, am too busy, yet would drop of a hat babysat my siblings children. There are many, many more! The one that broke me and made me cry and one that still sticks in my mind was; no body likes you, you're not a nice person, you just have to face facts, no body wants to be around you. I only let you in my house becausei have too. I went home sobbed my heart out to my husband, who said enough, we are going LC for a while, which I did and it was the best thing at the time, we made up before she died and I did see her on a regular basis but any nasty comments I left and told her am not here for you to abuse. When she died I never cried and to this day I haven't, but in a strange way she made me a better mother as I have never said anything nasty to my own children and have a good relationship with them.

My mother once told me that I was evil. Mind you, it was a word she used fairly liberally anyway, but I never forgot it.

My father once told me that I looked like a Soho tart. I was maybe 14, had long naturally blonde hair (loose) and was wearing a mini skirt. So to him, at that stage of the 60s, maybe I did, but I never forgot that, either.

When I was a student, home for the holidays (late 60s/early 70s) my DM once borrowed a coat of mine to nip to the shops. In a pocket she found a Marxist Society leaflet that had been thrust at me outside the Student Union one lunchtime.

Well, talk about shock horror! They absolutely refused to believe that I had zero interest, that it was something I’d just had thrust at me and shoved in a pocket.
My DF actually said, ‘If you have turned communist, you will no longer be welcome in this house!’
I threw this back at them during a row years later, and they did have the grace to admit that they’d been wrong.
I did generally get on pretty well with them, believe it or not!

Oh, and when my mother was once in one of her famous sulks (usually after a row with DF) making the atmosphere at home horrible, I walked quite a way into town and spent my entire (very meagre) pocket money on some flowers for her. I was only about 12, and when I gave them to her, she just said, very grumpily, ‘I don’t want them.’
That was perhaps the most hurtful, and with dds of my own, I’ve often wondered how on earth she could have said such a thing.

Thanks, OP - DPs are long gone now but it’s been cathartic to write this!

I feel so sad reading these. I had nothing as bad as most here, but I did have comments about my weight and putting me on diets whilst in primary school. Got a fucked up relationship with food now in my 40s.
I haven’t stopped hugging my son since I started reading these posts. I’ll tell him even more every day about how much he’s loved and how amazing he is. Fuck. Some people should be sterilised

Ah, my Dad had some gems.

The classic: 'I have to love you, but I've never liked you.'

'I wish we didn't have to have you home from boarding school for the holidays, you're far too inconvienient and disrupt our routine'

'It doesn't matter if you did it, you still have to apologise to your stepmother becuase I care about her more than I care about you'. Over a coffee spilt on the carpet I was blamed for (at volume and visiously), despite not drinking coffee. Funny, the only person in the house who drank coffee was him...

I was constantly told how expensive I was, how spoilt I was, how difficult I was. In reality, I was a very shy, anxious child but my quietness was taken as being wilfully difficult.