Page 12 | To ask the worst things your parents have said to you?

CrowleyKitten · 05/01/2025 22:04

BradleyGreenToes · 04/01/2025 19:33

I’ll start -
I’m a slut
I’m a failure without any friends
I’m irrelevant to the family because I don’t have children

I'd love to know which of those comments the 7% think are acceptable

CrowleyKitten · 05/01/2025 22:10

my dad was a horrible person. racist, sexist, homophobic, spiteful, manipulative, the whole lot.

I stopped having anything to do with him when I was 14, because of what a horrible person he was.

some of his gems. if when I went round there, in my jodhpurs, after looking after the horses, or if I wore jeans, he would accuse me of cross dressing.

I had this bag I kept my littlest pet shop horses and dogs in to take them round, and he said I should have make up in my bag and be trying to get a boyfriend, not playing with toys. I was 12.

if I pointed out he was being racist he said that "you might not be racist now, but when you're a grown up, you'll be at a job interview, and they'll give it to the black person instead of you, or they'll play the "race card", and then you'll learn why it's right to be racist"

I'm glad I cut him out of my life, and I'm glad he's dead now.

Whoiam · 05/01/2025 22:12

It's your fault xxx is dead.

Original poster

BradleyGreenToes · 05/01/2025 22:17

CrowleyKitten · 05/01/2025 22:10

my dad was a horrible person. racist, sexist, homophobic, spiteful, manipulative, the whole lot.

I stopped having anything to do with him when I was 14, because of what a horrible person he was.

some of his gems. if when I went round there, in my jodhpurs, after looking after the horses, or if I wore jeans, he would accuse me of cross dressing.

I had this bag I kept my littlest pet shop horses and dogs in to take them round, and he said I should have make up in my bag and be trying to get a boyfriend, not playing with toys. I was 12.

if I pointed out he was being racist he said that "you might not be racist now, but when you're a grown up, you'll be at a job interview, and they'll give it to the black person instead of you, or they'll play the "race card", and then you'll learn why it's right to be racist"

I'm glad I cut him out of my life, and I'm glad he's dead now.

Im sorry he was so crap.
I’m glad my father is dead too and I won’t be bothered when my mother dies either.

OP posts:

PuttingOnMyPositivePants · 05/01/2025 22:18

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 04/01/2025 19:43

Oh god i wouldn't know where to start with my mother.

Some childhood gems include "you have to suffer to look beautiful", "I never wanted a girl", "You're so fat" (size 8 and she was a size 26), she also made a massive speech the night before my wedding telling me she forgave me for having an affair with her husband (I was 10 and he was 50) and that when i realised she knew about the abuse all along.

Then after my sons death she told me I fucked up the only good thing I've ever done.

I could write a book on the crap she's said to me, been NC for a lot of years now and life is so much better, although she tells people I'm mentally ill and that's why I'm NC, so that's fun too.

Thank goodness you are no contact.I am so sorry you were failed in such an awful way. Let her tell people what she wants, you and the people important to you know the truth.
Sending love ❤️

NonPlayerCharacter · 05/01/2025 23:13

Chocolatekitty · 05/01/2025 19:24

Ah, my Dad had some gems.

The classic: 'I have to love you, but I've never liked you.'

'I wish we didn't have to have you home from boarding school for the holidays, you're far too inconvienient and disrupt our routine'

'It doesn't matter if you did it, you still have to apologise to your stepmother becuase I care about her more than I care about you'. Over a coffee spilt on the carpet I was blamed for (at volume and visiously), despite not drinking coffee. Funny, the only person in the house who drank coffee was him...

I was constantly told how expensive I was, how spoilt I was, how difficult I was. In reality, I was a very shy, anxious child but my quietness was taken as being wilfully difficult.

I'm sorry this happened to you. The coffee story reminds me of this story, which I hope you'll like. My father taught me how to make various drinks so I could serve him better. He never told me how to make coffee, though, so when I was told to make some, I guessed (I was about 7) and tipped about two inches of ground coffee (not instant coffee granules, although that might not have made much difference) into the mug, topped it with hot water and milk, stirred a bit and gave it to him. The reaction was as glorious as you can imagine, might have stained our carpet too, and while I was still ordered to make tea and various mixers, I never had to make coffee again.

I like coffee.

Original poster

BradleyGreenToes · 05/01/2025 23:24

NonPlayerCharacter · 05/01/2025 23:13

I'm sorry this happened to you. The coffee story reminds me of this story, which I hope you'll like. My father taught me how to make various drinks so I could serve him better. He never told me how to make coffee, though, so when I was told to make some, I guessed (I was about 7) and tipped about two inches of ground coffee (not instant coffee granules, although that might not have made much difference) into the mug, topped it with hot water and milk, stirred a bit and gave it to him. The reaction was as glorious as you can imagine, might have stained our carpet too, and while I was still ordered to make tea and various mixers, I never had to make coffee again.

I like coffee.

Edited

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That reminds me of the time I made my father boiled eggs for tea as my mother was out (and he couldn’t possibly cook for himself). I absentmindedly laid the table with knife and fork instead of spoon so got a mouthful of abuse about not being able to do anything right.
Next time my mother was out when he got home from work I stayed watching TV instead of jumping straight up to get his tea ready. He got me trapped in the kitchen against the cupboards beating me repeatedly about the head saying I should want to look after him.
The stupid thing is that I didn’t realise how wrong that was at the time.

OP posts:

Anonymous2003 · 05/01/2025 23:33

You're a tramp, you're a slut, do you think anyone will want to marry you when they find out you've been giving out handjobs since you were 13? (They found out I gave one handjob to a boy). Also when I attempted suicide following the way they treated me following said incident: "do you think that would've been nice for us over Christmas?"

NonPlayerCharacter · 05/01/2025 23:48

BradleyGreenToes · 05/01/2025 23:24

That reminds me of the time I made my father boiled eggs for tea as my mother was out (and he couldn’t possibly cook for himself). I absentmindedly laid the table with knife and fork instead of spoon so got a mouthful of abuse about not being able to do anything right.
Next time my mother was out when he got home from work I stayed watching TV instead of jumping straight up to get his tea ready. He got me trapped in the kitchen against the cupboards beating me repeatedly about the head saying I should want to look after him.
The stupid thing is that I didn’t realise how wrong that was at the time.

Show quote history

Utter bastard. I wish I could have made him some coffee. Might have laced it with tabasco sauce too. Or just poured it over him.

Original poster

BradleyGreenToes · 05/01/2025 23:49

NonPlayerCharacter · 05/01/2025 23:48

Utter bastard. I wish I could have made him some coffee. Might have laced it with tabasco sauce too. Or just poured it over him.

Show quote history

Thanks, that would have been good ❤️

OP posts:

Lavender14 · 06/01/2025 00:01

"How can I love you when I don't even like you?" I was 14.

Esme32 · 06/01/2025 00:56

My mum gave me a complex about my image, I had an eating disorder at 11 and she would encourage me not to eat anything, I went into hospital weighing five stone. Recently I saw her for Christmas with my daughter, she took a picture of us and she edited my face so it was slimmer, it looked nothing like me. When I was a teen I snuck out and we argued and she gave me a nose bleed. Her and my step dad used to say not even your real dad wants you. When I was 18 me and my sister were thrown out of the family home and she tells everyone that we left. That's only the fraction of stuff but I have BPD and major depressive disorder, there is no way I would treat my daughter the way she's treated me.

Original poster

BradleyGreenToes · 06/01/2025 01:10

Esme32 · 06/01/2025 00:56

My mum gave me a complex about my image, I had an eating disorder at 11 and she would encourage me not to eat anything, I went into hospital weighing five stone. Recently I saw her for Christmas with my daughter, she took a picture of us and she edited my face so it was slimmer, it looked nothing like me. When I was a teen I snuck out and we argued and she gave me a nose bleed. Her and my step dad used to say not even your real dad wants you. When I was 18 me and my sister were thrown out of the family home and she tells everyone that we left. That's only the fraction of stuff but I have BPD and major depressive disorder, there is no way I would treat my daughter the way she's treated me.

I’m so sorry you went through this.
My mothers favourite photo of me was when I was in deep the throes of anorexia!

OP posts:

AbbyBradley · 06/01/2025 02:54

Justtobeclear · 04/01/2025 21:18

There’s been so, so many. The most memorable that caused me absolute shock was a few days after I discovered my ex DH’s affair. I was staying with my parents and she was helping me feed my 9 month old. I said she couldn’t give dc chocolate for breakfast and she said “mummy is such a bitch isn’t she! No wonder your Daddy has found someone better.” After nearly 30 years of abuse for some reason that one was the one that made me go low contact.

My guess, that you went low contact at that point, was because you saw her starting that wicked, evil behaviour on your child. You put a stop to it straight away.

You couldn't protect yourself as a youngster but you can protect your darling child.
Instantly!

Such a heartwarming thing to read. Congratulations 💕 x

AbbyBradley · 06/01/2025 02:54

Justtobeclear · 04/01/2025 21:18

There’s been so, so many. The most memorable that caused me absolute shock was a few days after I discovered my ex DH’s affair. I was staying with my parents and she was helping me feed my 9 month old. I said she couldn’t give dc chocolate for breakfast and she said “mummy is such a bitch isn’t she! No wonder your Daddy has found someone better.” After nearly 30 years of abuse for some reason that one was the one that made me go low contact.

My guess, that you went low contact at that point, was because you saw her starting that wicked, evil behaviour on your child. You put a stop to it straight away.

You couldn't protect yourself as a youngster but you can protect your darling child.
Instantly!

Such a heartwarming thing to read. Congratulations 💕 x

Thepossibility · 06/01/2025 03:11

All from my stepmother.
I was "an ugly wog looking thing".
My brilliant sister was a fat arsed retard.
This is while we were children who could do nothing but take it on the chin.

Usernamenope · 06/01/2025 03:54

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 04/01/2025 19:43

Oh god i wouldn't know where to start with my mother.

Some childhood gems include "you have to suffer to look beautiful", "I never wanted a girl", "You're so fat" (size 8 and she was a size 26), she also made a massive speech the night before my wedding telling me she forgave me for having an affair with her husband (I was 10 and he was 50) and that when i realised she knew about the abuse all along.

Then after my sons death she told me I fucked up the only good thing I've ever done.

I could write a book on the crap she's said to me, been NC for a lot of years now and life is so much better, although she tells people I'm mentally ill and that's why I'm NC, so that's fun too.

I'm so so sorry you experienced this 😢

Dita73 · 06/01/2025 04:09

Getting called “a fat cunt” wasn’t great

CrowleyKitten · 06/01/2025 20:39

Amicompletelyinsane · 04/01/2025 20:02

I'll never be attractive or get a man with the way I am..I was 14.

I'll never forget the day she sat me down to explain why my sibling was her favourite🙄

My Grandad expressed his concern that I'd never get a boyfriend, because I was blonde, and dyed my hair black. apparently, nobody with dark hair gets a man.
then when I got engaged, he sent a cheque, IN MY COUSINS NAME as he assumed that if any of us was getting married, it wouldn't be me. this is the only one of the cousins who is not married in our 40s.

NonPlayerCharacter · 06/01/2025 20:46

nobody with dark hair gets a man.

And that's why dark hair genes have died out...

Was he actually insane?

CrowleyKitten · 06/01/2025 20:47

AnnaBegins · 04/01/2025 20:11

Both parents told me I was a mistake. I'd worked that out from the short gap between their wedding and my date of birth to be honest!

When I had my first DC, they told all my family that I wouldn't let them see the baby. I had concerned aunties ringing me up telling me to include them. They'd seen us twice a week including being the first people to meet the baby.

my mum has always been honest about the fact I wasn't planned. but as she said "you were an accident, but you were NEVER a mistake"
she didn't find out until late in the pregnancy and I was born premature. she literally had about two months to get used to the idea she was having me. but she has loved me INTENSELY since the moment I was born.

CrowleyKitten · 06/01/2025 21:06

Fishystripe · 04/01/2025 21:02

It really isn't. That's why it annoys me when people say, oh but you've only got one mum, as if they're all lovely!

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I was told would regret not contacting my dad when he was dying.
guess what.
no for a second.
he had four daughters, and the only one still in contact with him when he died is too nice for her own good. even though he was VILE about her daughter. it was okay to visit with her son, but not her daughter, because "I just can't take to her"

how did I find out. the youngest of my older sisters texted me "it's dead" and I texted back "oh well"

Original poster

BradleyGreenToes · 06/01/2025 21:09

CrowleyKitten · 06/01/2025 21:06

I was told would regret not contacting my dad when he was dying.
guess what.
no for a second.
he had four daughters, and the only one still in contact with him when he died is too nice for her own good. even though he was VILE about her daughter. it was okay to visit with her son, but not her daughter, because "I just can't take to her"

how did I find out. the youngest of my older sisters texted me "it's dead" and I texted back "oh well"

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Same. My therapist at the time told me that it was likely that the grief would hit me further down the line when I told her I didn’t care he had died. It’s been three years now and still don’t give a shit. Good riddance.

OP posts:

CrowleyKitten · 06/01/2025 21:11

Fishystripe · 04/01/2025 21:02

It really isn't. That's why it annoys me when people say, oh but you've only got one mum, as if they're all lovely!

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I think because there are so many parents here, it hurts them to think that their children might not love them if they don't treat them right. so it's easier to make out the child is the unreasonable one, and a parent can't be at fault.

I just hope things go smoothly, and they never have to learn the hard way that nobody owes you unconditional affection and interaction. if you break their trust, make them feel bad about themselves etc. they're within their rights to cut you off.

CrowleyKitten · 06/01/2025 21:16

JHound · 04/01/2025 21:09

@InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom

me she forgave me for having an affair with her husband (I was 10 and he was 50) and that when i realised she knew about the abuse all along.

Fewer people need to be parents. I mean that seriously.

so, she FORGAVE you for being raped by her husband.
that's disgusting.