To think I’m not doing anything wrong

[Viserrisk]

Back to work on Monday after a lovely 2 weeks off! I’m currently reading a book (well I was before I came on here) with a glass of wine and left over Pringles from Christmas.

DH was out doing his hobby and he’s just come back home and asked me why I was drinking. I said I’m having a glass of wine, not exactly having shots rolling around everywhere. He said that I shouldn’t be drinking while looking after DC and that drinking alone in the house when it’s not Christmas anymore is “weird” DC1 is upstairs in their room and DC2 is sat on the floor playing.

AIBU?

Silly comment. What if you can't drive anyway? Or is it ok to have a drink then?

How?

I love how so many assume everyone drives and everyone has access to a car 🤣

It's SO Mumsnet.

if you actually have any knowledge/training of risk then you’ll find the definition of a qualitative risk is the potential consequences x the likelihood of the event happening. Yes any of those scenarios could happen (potential consequences) but the chances (likelihood) of them happening during the short window OP is drinking is minuscule. So even the most simple risk assessment (like the one you in your head 20 times a day as a parent without even thinking out it) would conclude the risk to having a glass of wine is vanishing small.

I don’t even drink and I think he’s being ridiculous, never mind now he’s back have another one if you feel like it. I’m sure a couple of glasses of wine over the festive period is not actually one step away from being an alcoholic.

They'll also be 'slightly more at risk' than people who live directly opposite a hospital 🤷‍♂️

Ok well you admit that you shouldn't eat marshmallows when you're alone with children because there's a chance you will choke to death, so that's a risk to your children.
And you definitely shouldn't have a bath when you're alone with the children. You could drown, or slip. Also you shouldn't drive with your children. Definite risk there.

You can't just pick one perceived risk and focus on that to judge. Do them all.

As driving is statistically one of the most dangerous activities performed by man (or woman (other genders are available) drunk or sober) you could argue anyone without a car is at reduced risk compression to those with one.

Good point, reminds me of an actual situation!

@GoldsolesLugs A friend in my old area lives a literal 5 minutes walk from the hospital (less if you were running there as you may in an emergency). She does not own a car as can't afford to run one.
Both DP and I did, and still do, have our own car. Even with completely empty roads and driving at the speed limit, I would have been at least 15 minutes getting to hospital.

Is my friend still creating more risk by not having a car?

Yep, correct - I made an assumption that she had a car available to her.
I'm aware that this is a fucking stupid argument and I'm being a pedant, but
all I did was suggest that maybe DH had a different idea about risk than her (and a conversation about this would be a good idea), and I get a million posters attacking me and claiming that there is no risk.

And yet nobody would bat an eyelid at a bloke opening a can while he watches the football at home. Or stopping at the pub for a pint (alone) on his way home from walking the dog. Why is it only women we judge for having a drink alone?

Thats some cheeky fxxker you are married to.

Brave man would say that to me having come in from HIS hobby while I was looking after OUR children🤨.

I used to have a can of lager while ironing in the afternoon while also supervising 3 children. Tell the judgemental twat to fuck off.

There’s always one.

You do realise there are people who have children who don’t drive anyway don’t you? What do you think happens to those?

Yes, maybe he has a different idea about risk to her. The wrong one. Like you.

drinking alone in the house when it’s not Christmas anymore is “weird”

I think that's a really odd thing to say.

Why does Christmas make it acceptable?

Eta-as far as I'm concerned it's Christmas until 12th night! or when the holidays end(Mon for us), whatever suits!

Oh FFS.

Just let it go. It's a stupid fucking argument, yes - but you're the one who made it.

Come on, two identical scenarios, in one the parent has taken a small amount of a drug which inhibits judgement/reaction time, in the other they haven't.
The first scenario presents more risk to the child. It just does. It might be a negligible amount but it does present more risk. So by choosing to drink the wine, you're increasing the risk. That's all I'm saying.

A glass of wine, a good book and a calm content household… what more could you hope for?! Tell him you’re starting the new year how you wish to continue and to jump on board.

It's trivial, I'm right, and it's interesting how much pushback I'm getting.

Not claiming there is no risk, but that there is risk involved in anything.

In fact, one of the most dangerous things I can thinking of is driving to a hospital with a seriously ill child in the back.

Yes, but your children are slightly more at risk because you don't have a car. at risk of what exactly?

I mean your children are more at risk if you do have a car. On a general day to day basis, because they’re more likely to be hurt/killed in a car accident whereas if you don’t have a car this is less likely.

It’s all swings and roundabouts you see.

Yep, that's a decent argument.

One drink - it's going to have little to no impact on the OP, unless her tolerance is freakishly low. You're getting pushback because you're so determined that you're right.