To not want to take dog for the night?

[Mumalorian]

My DF has had to go into hospital for a night and DB has asked if we could take the dog as he is going away for the night with sil and dn (Df stays with db).

I have said no on the grounds that their dog barks and will start our dog off barking, we know this as df brought the dog down for a day over xmas which wasnt an issue, but the barking was constant and got worse when we put their dog out in the hallway so we could eat as she is a begger for food and would eat off plates. Df gets up at ridiculous times to get his dog out.

We have 3 dc and don't want them to be affected by barking throughout the night.

I have suggested that we can let their dog out and feed her around 9pm and come back again in the morning somewhere between 8 & 9 yo feed and take the dog out.

I don't want db to miss out on this night away but don't want our whole night to be disrupted because of barking.

On a practical note now you have agreed to have the dog. If you can manage some time to take both dogs for a walk together a couple times before.

On the day the dog comes to yours, collect it on foot with your dog, walk both, preferably with some safe, off lead time. When you get them home, let them free in the garden (if enclosed), to sniff & interact freely. Only then let them into the house. Feed separately (preferably different rooms to avoid anyone feeling threatened). If introduced properly away from their own territory & exercised enough there’s a better chance they’ll co exist calmly.

YANBU. Not your dog, not your problem

This. When I had a newborn to look after and was recovering from a c-section
there was no way I would, or even could, have taken on somebody's badly behaved dog for 24 minutes never mind hours.

I'd stay the night with their dog at their house and put up with the dirtiness. It's only one night and it would really help them out

With a newborn and a fresh c-section scar? They shouldn't even be asking.

This ^ !!

And someone in DB's family should say - but I understand why my DSis won't have the dog as she's recovering from a c-section and has a newborn plus two other children, and an excitable puppy!

On this point only, if the house belongs to your DB, it is his house to keep clean and you should remind him of that - if for no other reason that when the time comes (at some stage in the future when your father passes away), it will be much easier for DB to maintain when it is already clean. On that point only, could you have a word with your DB?

Presumably brother looked into taking the dog & it's not possble?

Good god, there really is no base point for the misogyny on MN.

The OP, with her own family should clean for her dirty brother and wife and father in a house she doesn't own?

Unfxxking believable.

OP, NEVER clean there EVER.

Leave them to their dirt.
You are very kind to take the dog.

That's totally inhumane. I can't believe you even wrote that out and thought that it was OK to post.

Update

Df has a broken hip so will be in hospital for some time.

I am concerned about mess and dirt in db house when df is discharged as he will likley need carers for a while.

Also dogs seem to be chilled out for now.

Hopefully when the dogs are familiar with one another and old dog more familiar with your house, peace will return... if you decide to mind old dog for a while that is.

Kick DB's arse to tidy up/clean up/get in a cleaner for a deep clean?

I have given up being concerned about the state of my elderly DF's house - I am not in a position to help and the person who is is more concerned with multiple skiing holidays and DF himself couldn't give a shite... not my circus, not my monkeys.

Sorry for your DF but that will give DB and DSil time to get professional cleaners in for a deep clean before DF is discharged.

If they complain about the expenses, tell them they could always do it themselves..

On no account do any cleaning or offer to help with costs, OP! That would just be enabling their filthy lifestyle ie lack of housekeeping and hygiene.

Concentrate on enjoying your newborn and toddlers and keep them away from that house.

He can go on a different night after he has made plans for his dog.

I think it was last night!

Hope it went well and your dad is ok

Agree, an upset to the routine but just prepare for it. X

Take a sleeping bag, it's one night!

The number of selfish mumsnetters never fails to astound me. One night! I get that people need boundaries but this really shouldn’t equate to never putting yourself out for any reason whatsoever.
Do you never visit your DB / DF? Take some detttol wipes and a sleeping bag and suck up the dirt or take the dog for one night; stop being such a princess.

If it’s one night I would just do it.

And yet you're still not going to club together with your brother and get it cleaned and cleared out? I don't care if you feel its not your place there's no way I'd leave my dad to live in squalor just because your brother I'd lazy and your dad is incapable. Get it sorted, even if you don't do it yourself hire a cleaner for a one off deep clean and tell your brother anything lying about on the floor/sides etc that doesn't have a use or a home will be binned. You can't let your poor dad go home to that. Honestly, it's nothing to do with you being a woman it's about being a decent human and a kind child to your dad.

if it were me I’d go and stay the night there .
and in future they need to prepare to use a boarding kennel or get a a pet sitter

i do sympathise as I used to home sit a barking dog 24 hours a day used to drive me nuts i assume the owner had become immune to it
if you have oh why not one of you stop at fathers with dog and other stay at home with children? if the father lives with brother i guess he is having a chance to have time away

I voted you’re being unreasonable because you know very well your suggestion of just leaving the dog alone over night is rediculous and neglectful of a dog that is usually treated very well.

the timing you suggest don’t with with having a night away either.

why not offer to goes halves with your brother to board the dog?

or could you not go spend the night there? Think about the comfort you’d be giving your dad while he is in hospital so he doesn’t have to worry about his dog?

@User457788

You crack me up. I've already listed reasons I'm not cleaning my brothers house, nor am I paying for a cleaner for them cause they're too lazy to do it themselves.

I have my own house and 3 dc to look after as well as recover from a csection i had 2 weeks ago. I need to be well for the sake of my children.

If it’s for one night I’d go and stay at your db’s and ask them to have a bit of a tidy/clean up if that’s possible

Yanbu to not want ddog at yours but equally you can’t leave ddog for 12 hours

ok RTFT now. I think the csection was a bit of a drip feed. You need to concentrate on getting better not looking after someone else’s dog or cleaning someone else’s house. Anyway it looks like you agreed to take the dog and all is well.

DB obviously needs to grow up a bit and think about the dog’s needs more than he currently does. But I’m sure you know that

How is your dad doing now @Mumalorian ?

Do you still have the dog?

Depending on how things are, you may need to keep notes of how much extra the dog is costing you - just to be mindful of it.